to not accept that this is a "thing" that most people do?

Yeh it’s a big milestone on Love Island - like an engagement but without the ring !

Agree with this. Simple and reasonable.

We have it totally arse about face these days.

Same here! So glad I am 60😂

It reminds me of people who say they're "getting engaged". If you've agreed to "get engaged", then by definition you've agreed to get married - which means you're already engaged! Engagement isn't a "stage" on its own, it's just the period between agreeing to marry and actually marrying.

I don't understand the difference between dating and being boyfriend/girlfriend.

So what's the difference between seeing each other and dating then?
What a load of exhausting nonsense

It sounds like the situation a friend of mine told me about, where her DD and a boy had agreed that she could be going out with him, but he wasn’t going out with her.
But they were 9 years old and in primary school, which is where this sort of thing belongs.

I’m not sure this is true. I’m 50’s so textbook Gen X. I don’t remember my parents or friends of parents critical of youth culture.
My parents grew up in the 60’s and early 70’s. They were very cool about most things. They did hate my skinny jeans but I did wear mine super tight drainpipes style and I was never drainpipe shaped.

I work with a girl and the exact same thing happened to her… the rest of us (way older) were bemused… what a faff
My kids are all the same tho as i have now found out … it’s a new trend for the young uns 🤷‍♀️

Modern dating seems to be incredibly complicated with many, many stages. In my opinion the process seems to involve the guys shagging lots of women whilst the other women all pine and hope he eventually picks them. I can understand one nightstands, but I don’t understand why young women would want to be in a relationship with a guy that is still on tinder and sleeping with other women. One women I know has been sleeping with a guy for 9 months, they go to pubs, events, dinner, concerts, stay over at each other’s homes… but are not in a relationship. He is still on tinder- looking for the one? She has come off tinder, but she can date if she wants to? It feels so backwards. Also the fact you’re expected to sleep with guys on 1-3rd date max. It’s grim.

1990/00 dating was far simpler. You went out a few times, snogged and if you kept seeing each other you were girlfriend and boyfriend. If you were not into the person you’d dump them after a couple of dates and move on.

I think this is a gen z thing.

She’s probably been watching too much ‘Love Island’ where it’s a free-for-all until a couple does a big performance about Becoming Official.

This sounds similar to Japanese culture.

There is no official boyfriend/girlfriend relationship until a formal confession of feelings 'kokuhaku'. Everuthing before that is just casual dating.

Back in my day it used to be getting drunk, get off together, and if you carried on seeing each other you were then going out, so girlfriend/boyfriend. Dating as such didn't come into it.

Yeah I remember this with my DD.

We had a conversation around “being exclusive/BF&GF” stuff and she was explaining to me that you need to have sex before deciding if you want to be BF&GF because you don’t want to be “attached” to someone who you don’t like sleeping with type thing.

She was shocked when I explained that when I was young, we didn’t have sex until we were BF&GF (well some folk did but not us naice girls lol).

All the “talking to” stuff just makes me 🙄

i think it means that both people are still shagging other people, or technically allowed to shag other people, or “have no right” to be angry when their situationship is shagging loads of other situationships… Sounds awful to me personally. I am so glad I’m married and don’t have to navigate today’s dating.

Blame Love Island!

its idiotic but it seems to be a thing. Some weird import from the USA

It’s a thing now which is crazy! My 3rd cousin gave his girlfriend flowers and a sign that said “will you be my girlfriend?” It was posted all over social media for everyone to see. I find it a bit laughable as someone who is nearing 40. The official confirmation I had from my husband when we first started dating, was a quick kiss in a shopping centre car park after a cinema date 🤷‍♀️

Yabu because things have changed but yanbu to think its for the worse.

Back in my day, you went out a few times and slept together when you wanted to make it official. Any other sex was a one night stand or fwb.

Eta, I don't remember "being exclusive" being a thing. You dated one person at a time or you were two-timing.

partner and I met when we were 18

we were flatmates at uni, were friends for a month. Around that time I had this weird thought of “huh, I could marry this man and be very happy”. We were just friends and I told myself to shut up.

he asked me out soon after and we planned a date a month out for a show. By the time the date rolled around I’d already moved into his room. We’d gone out to eat at other places, gone to do stuff… and then the date was really fun and natural.

and then six weeks in I said “I am your only girlfriend, right?” I mean I’d obviously never seen him with another girl, but I thought I should actually say it. He didn’t, and we agreed that we were already dating exclusively and that it’s a bit sly to date multiple people at once.

When I was single and dating in my 30s, I thought it a pretty good rule of thumb to assume that in the first c. 3 months they might be seeing other people unless agreed otherwise, and after that to assume they will not, unless agreed otherwise!

I always expected them to only be seeing me. Plenty of time to pursue others if we hadn't worked out. I'd have dumped them for that.
That being said, this wasn't online dating total strangers, more of a social group where people would always at least know some people in common etc so possibly a bit different.

When I was single and dating in my 30s, I thought it a pretty good rule of thumb to assume that in the first c. 3 months they might be seeing other people unless agreed otherwise, and after that to assume they will not, unless agreed otherwise!

All these young women waiting about like a Bennet sister to be asked to be a gf of someone they’ve been going out with for months is really depressing reading.

“It’s Complicated“

I always thought you ask someone to be your boyfriend/girlfriend and then if they yes then you generally hang around together and sometimes go on proper dates, depending on how old you are and how much money you have.

Mind you it's been 25 years since I last did this so I probably don't know much!