to not accept that this is a "thing" that most people do?

It's called "love Island". 😂

I notice lots of Americans saying it’s not a U.S thing.
Which is weird because popular American culture in the 80’s, 90’s early 2000’s definitely having “dating” as a thing. The UK were never dating. We saw someone (exclusively) until we broke up.
Maybe the US has caught up with ys?

Ah, I remember the good old days where a boy would ask a girl out and that meant they were girlfriend and boyfriend until one said they didn't want to see each other any more (sometimes that was after one date!). It was so much simpler 😂

On the person who is providing all those " boyfriend privileges" without commitment. Usually ( I accept not always) the women.

This has been common for a good few years now. I think it’s just an excuse for men to be able to shag around without getting into trouble for being unfaithful. It’s absolutely ridiculous but I’m old so what do I know?

My husband never asked me out we just got together been with him 22yrs people now are idiots

I have heard the term exclusive used by younger people, which I assumed meant they were boyfriend and girlfriend but I recently found out that girlfriend and exclusive were not interchangeable to mean the same thing and I couldn't understand what the difference was, different generational speak I guess is the only difference. In my day as soon as you went on a few dates you were boyfriend and girlfriend, none of this exclusive or being asked to be the girlfriend. Whatever though it all comes down to the same thing, different terminology I guess?

YANBU and I completely agree with you but actually in my experience many of these younguns do this. My theory is it's because of the sleeping around and situationship shenanigans these days

What the fuck are “stripper nails”? The internalised misogyny on MN is off the charts at the moment. If it’s not vile, reductive comments about women’s bodies and the way they dress, it’s posters falling over each other to bond with a male OP by providing ever-more lurid character assassinations of the woman he’s complaining about.

Sounds like an American thing. You’d ask someone out and you’d be going out until you were dumped back in my day (80’s kid). Until you’re officially exclusive it’s an excuse to shag about and keep a few irons in the fire is it not? Pick which one you like best, ditch the rest? Christ, I wouldn’t last 5 minutes if I was a nipper in today’s world. I truly don’t get their behaviour.

Not my circle. Women in the school playground, local park. I'm a very chatty person and although my behaviour is wildly different to theirs I don't discriminate when kids are around. Also a quick scroll through Facebook tells you A LOT about people, especially the provocative selfies and 60+ likes from different men. I think it's crazy that more women don't notice how desperate they come off half dressed after 30 with bleached hair and stripper nails. You may be lucky enough to live in a nice rural location....I live in Leamington Spa

I’m not married, similar age to you and tbh I don’t know any single women who behave like this. I am sure they exist though - it must depend on your circle really.

I used to have friends a bit like that in my early 20s, not sure if they’ve grown out of it. They didn’t usually hit up randoms on social media, but they would often engage in casual sex with more than one man from within our social circle that was partly formed through parties/clubs etc.

I think a lot of women on here saying casual dating is for the benefit of men must be married. I am a single woman in my mid thirties and 80% of women I know, single or dating, seem to constantly be on the prowl. Facebook enables them to message multiple men, flirt continually and engage in regular sexting....with many different men. I am ridiculed for being a 'prude'. I am not, I'm just not that loose. Modern men and women engaging in this behaviour are gross but the Internet has just made it much easier to spot them. As have fillers!

Exactly! Then I draw a heart with his name in to make it official but ignored him after because I was too embarrassed to talk to him. We did dance together at the school disco but broke up soon after because he played football instead of ‘it’.

Oh my word, when and why has it become so complicated? If you're together as a couple it's followed a natural flow as it's always been. Why the need for a 'ceremony' and a certain conversation? Strewth, it's so very formal and sad...

My first reaction was ‘surely if you’re repeatedly dating the same person you’re boyf/girlf??’ And then I remembered a thing in my own life in the early 90s when I was ‘seeing someone’ but he absolutely was not my boyfriend and neither did I want him to be! I’m fairly certain he wasn’t being exclusive and I can’t be sure I was either! I guess we were both thinking ‘weekend shag only’…

So now I’m thinking that I get it, even though it still seems a little odd!

What baffles me is that when I was a teenager (late 90s) it was hard enough to get one of the boys you liked to mutually notice you, let alone several.

I find the whole ‘exclusive’ thing weird too but I suppose I would have just assumed that the other person wouldn’t be seeing anyone else.

Asking to be boyfriend/girlfriend is quite primary school to me!

I would never cope in the dating world now.

My Dd once told me her and her boyfriend were in a ' situationship' I still have no idea what that means 🤷‍♀️

I've voted that YANBU but I'm the same age. Back in the day it was almost a given that you were an "item" if you'd been out a couple of times.

I'm not sure I could be doing with all this exclusive nonsense for something that could be quite short lived.

I remember being asked if I would be somebody's GF, I think I was about 6.

Going steady is when two romantic partners agree to an exclusive relationship.[1] Growing in prevalence in the United States after World War II, this pattern became mainstream in high schools and colleges in the 1950s.[2] Its popularity continued through the 1980s, with teenagers beginning to go steady at progressively earlier ages. However, the label "going steady" fell into disuse in the 1970s.[3]

Going steady - Wikipedia

The American-oriented sex education books my parents gave me in the 1970's described dating multiple people as a distinct stage, where you tried out different people, prior to "going steady" with one.

(Just checked, and Wikipedia confirms that "going steady" means an agreement to be exclusive.)

What you see as wrong was a cultural norm, in America, in the 50's, 60's and 70's. I don't know about other decades and places.

Some people do it that way... Up to them surely