to not accept that this is a "thing" that most people do?

So do the girls see lots of different lads too I wonder before becoming 'exclusive'.

I would've absolutely hated this if it was a thing when I was young. Although having multiple lads interested in me, well who am I kidding chance would've been a fine thing 😂

This is more or less how it goes I believe. Years ago my son told me that one of his friends was concerned as he was going on holiday with a girl he had been seeing for 6 months and he thought she was expecting him to ask the question. I said that was a bit soon thinking engagement but, no, they were going on holiday but were not yet officially gf/bf. Just nonsense.

The only benefit I can see is that you can shag multiple people without being accused of cheating. It all seems a bit sad, formal and calculated.

It is immensely stupid. But is also a real thing 🤢
My understanding is that you are dating someone, even sleeping with them, but not exclusively. It can look and feel like a gf/boyf thing, but it's crucial to check you're both in the same page with what's going on and to outline your expectations/check they align align.
As I discovered when starting out dating after divorce.....

I think the whole dinner thing is OTT but I do sort of get how this happens in a generation that are commitment phobic.

FWIW I was in a similar situation because we were both adamant we didn’t want a committed relationship, but we weren’t with anyone else and everybody knew we were (at the time) crazy about each other and just rolled their eyes when we said we weren’t boyfriend and girlfriend. After about 13 months we had a chat and agreed we were BF/GF but it didn’t really change anything and ultimately we broke up a few months later. Don’t think it did us any harm to not call ourselves boyfriend and girlfriend immediately.

Sounds quite cruel. 'Stringing along' it used to be called.

My mum is almost 70 and apparently it wasn’t unusual when she was younger among her peers to be dating a couple of different men at once and then decide which once you liked best after a few weeks and then you’d agree to “go steady” which meant you were boyfriend and girlfriend. (How my dad ended up the winner in this scenario remains ever a mystery, but he did ride a motorcycle and have an earring, so maybe that was it.)

I suppose it’s really just that, for younger people, but with the addition of people on Tik Tok telling you how it should be done and that it should be like a proposal that you can video and show to all your friends. I don’t think it’s universal though, none of my younger colleagues seem to have done it.

This is a thing my DDs in their 20s have told me all about it. Apparently the man can carry on dating anyone they like until they decide that you are the one suitable enough to be come exclusive with. It could take months. I don't know why girls today put up with it. In my day if a lad asked you out you were going out with only them until you slit up.

Did this come from Love Island?
Wasn’t there something on there about having to eventually decide you were going to be gf and bf, and a big announcement followed?

Or is it that social media is a continual buffet, where you can chat & hook up at will? Maybe the bf/gf announcement is saying that (for now) you’re no longer looking?

I know from my 24yo Dd this is indeed a thing. And apparently it’s not a thing in Canada (no idea about America). Her Canadian bf assumed they were gf/bf and she told him he had to ask her. So he thinks it’s a crazy U.K. thing.

My husband and I started as FWB, so we definitely needed to have that ‘sooo it seems I’ve fallen for you’ but we chatted on a walk, no flowers or a mini proposal here. When it was Facebook official that was that

It’s all very tedious but it’s definitely a thing - talking stage, dating, becoming exclusive, becoming official.

Asking over a fancy dinner with flowers, etc is new to me though.

The sooner children are banned from social media the better.

It used to be quite straightforward.
Asked out, went out on dates, became girlfriend and boyfriend. Didn't go out with anyone else at the same time, that was two-timing. I'm 57.

It all seems a bit vague these days.

Yes it is sadly -
before that you are just ‘seeing each other’-
bollox to playing along with that (see also that ‘poly’ cool girl nonsense women feel they have to accept while dating
Shudder…

It’s definitely a thing amongst the young. Both of our sons dated their girlfriends before formally asking them to be such.

🤷‍♀️ Don’t ask me.

As someone early 50s who has recently done OLD, it's always good to clarify whether it's a gf/boyf relationship, or just a situationship 🤢

I hate "talking to". Sounds like discussing the possibility of a corporate merger.

I'm worried now. I'm getting married in a few weeks, but I don't think he's asked me to be his girlfriend yet 😔

I'm mid thirties, but I kind of like the "girlfriend proposals". Not for me personally, but I can see the appeal for others. There are so many stages now to dating that it's no wonder some people feel like they need to actually have that clarity of confirming the relationship.

Courting.

It’s a thing - like someone else said it’s akin to a mini proposal these days. Preferably instagrammable.

Is TikTok the source for this utter twaddle by any chance?