Dh chosen to manage his adhd without medication and he is on the severe end.
Dh has never masked. I didn't know that was possible with adhd so you learn something new on mum's net!
All our kids have severe adhd too. We have learned to structure life.
We have set daily routines with regular reminders from alexa to get up, shower, get dressed, think about leaving, when they need to leave for school
All of the kids and dh have laminated packing lists for what they need to pack for next day with everything put by front door (with an alexa reminder at 5pm to do this)
Dh hyperfocuses on his job so that isn't a issue for him as he loves it.
We use a joint family calendar for all appointments, kids matches and sports with reminders the week before, day before then leading up to event. Again with alexa reminding when we need to be thinking about leaving the house.
Structure and repetition works for us
As does having everything so it can be seen. Homework reminders in the wall, digital calendar on the kitchen wall.
We even set reminder to go to bed as often get carried away with things then realise its midnight. (Kids ones are set for their bedtime)
Same for bills. Spreadsheet made once a year and checked only when stuff changes. All money is sorted by standing order and dd into different savings pots. We both have spending accounts with no overdraft to avoid overspend.
Food shopping is done online, same slot everywhere to again avoid impulse buys..
Friends only see at weekends and only once every couple weeks as need downtime