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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed at DH for going away over Easter weekend?

78 replies

Mamathulu · 27/01/2026 17:59

DH is in a band. It's more of a 'dream pursuit' than a hobby. And I recognise that it's important for his well being to be able to do it. They get paid, but it's usually only petrol/expenses, or if it's more, it goes back into the band for recording, so not a money maker. He rehearses once a week, and gigs at weekends, usually locally, so it's an 'out for the evening' thing. Fine. They've just booked a gig on Easter Sunday, in a city 5 and a half hours drive away - so it won't just be an evening, it'll be up there Saturday, play Sunday, back Monday, most likely. At the very least, it'll be up there Sunday morning, back Monday lunchtime. So it messes with Easter Sunday and BH Monday.

To put some context into it, it's not straightforward - we have 3 disabled people in the family, so DH works full time and cares for us all, me and 2 DSs with SEND. I do realise how much he sacrifices for us and how hard he works. And he supports me with my dream pursuit for which I sometimes need to go away for - this year, I've been away for one 5-day retreat and one 5 day pitch event (both of which I won, but obvs came with travel and accommodation costs) and a pitch event in London which meant an overnight stay as well. But this is my 'work' as a writer. He sometimes has to go away for work as well, for 2-7 days at a time, and I cope with looking after the boys on my own with extra help from PAs when this happens.

This feels different though because it's a national holiday. With him going away for work and gigs, me going away for work, I feel like Christmas/Easter should be protected. If he's away over a birthday, we move the birthday to one side of it, and celebrate it before or after, but Easter can't be moved. Usually we'd have the older two here Easter Sunday (who are grown up) and maybe see my mum's relatives.Instead I'm going to be stuck at home with the boys for two days - with no extra help because it will be Easter, and my budget can't cope with double time. So Easter will be really boring for the boys. However, I also suspect I may be BU, and making a fuss over nothing. When he first mentioned it to me I said I didn't really want him to go away over Easter, but they've gone and booked it anyway. Thoughts?

OP posts:
itsobviousright · 27/01/2026 18:04

Easter doesn't register as an event other chocolate eggs in this household, so it wouldn't put me up nor down. Sounds like he works hard and is supportive of your writing, so I don't see an issue here

Swaytheboat · 27/01/2026 18:03

He cares for all of you and you're begrudging him a weekend away when you're regularly away with your hobby?! That's definitely unreasonable.

Dinosweetpea · 27/01/2026 18:02

Easter is a family celebration in my family so no, I wouldn't be happy about this.