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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids party

34 replies

WorriedAboutRae · 27/01/2026 09:11

Yesterday DS (7) had a birthday party. It was a really cute wooden craft one where the kids get a simple woodwork project each, which they build and then decorate, and get to keep. They only got one project each which the staff explained at the beginning (any more need to be paid for).

DS invited a new friend (let’s call him Dave) who I hadn’t met before and he came across as pretty rude. Later on, Dave asked if he could do a robot as well as the car he’d started. I explained that no, everyone does just one thing, just finish the one you’ve chosen. He then waited until I was distracted, went and helped himself to another kit, and started working on it before any adults noticed. Dave was really rude when another parent went to speak to him about it.

I’m picking up the finished pieces from the workshop this week. AIBU to not give Dave the robot when I hand them out? My family said I should absolutely not let him have both, but my friend said that I may as well let him, since I have had to pay for it anyway. If he had been polite and it was a genuine mistake then I wouldn’t have minded so much.

AIBU to only give the original kit out?

OP posts:
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Unexpectedlysinglemum · 29/01/2026 08:49

I think if a child does something like this is may be a troubled upbringing so it may not land with the parents the way it would with you. I can see why you don’t say anything to dad in the moment you don’t want a lovely party to be tainted with being told off. I think you can keep your boundary and pay the place but don’t give the robot to him.

Original poster
WorriedAboutRae · 29/01/2026 08:44

Coconutter24 · 27/01/2026 12:32

started working on it before any adults noticed

were his parents not there?

No, only about half of the parents stayed which was fine for the adult:child ratio required by the workshop, but I probably should have requested that they all did with hindsight!

I also know I should’ve said something to dad on pickup but the damage was already done, I didn’t know him or how he’d react, so I kept quiet because I’m a wimp!

OP posts:
FeelingALittleConcerned1 · 27/01/2026 13:09

Dave's a little dickhead do not give it to him.

Isekaied · 27/01/2026 12:36

Don't give it to him.

And if anyone asks either ask for the cash if not confident enough say they disposed of it because you wouldn't pay the extra.

BumpedIntoBenAffleck · 27/01/2026 12:33

CheeseItOn · 27/01/2026 12:30

I'd message the parents and say there is a charge of £X for the extra robot kit Dave did and do they want to pay you for it so he can have it?

This ^

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 27/01/2026 12:33

I would say when the parents have paid you back for it then he can have it

needtoforget · 27/01/2026 12:33

TartanMammy · 27/01/2026 09:30

Yanbu.

Were Dave's parents there? I would mortified if my child did that and insist on paying for it. Child would also be told how unacceptable that behaviour is

Reminds me of when I took DS and group of friends age 5 to McDonald's after trampolining for birthday treat. We were on a tight budget and I'd planned for happy meals and mcflurries. One child insisted happy meals were for babies (they were 5!) and he wanted an adult meal. He cried when I said no we're having happy meals today and his mum was pissed off at me and said 'well you could have just got him it' . But then I'd have to get that for all the boys and it would have more than doubled the cost!

🤣 I had to laugh when reading this…it can’t be real the mum said you could have just got him that.

Coconutter24 · 27/01/2026 12:32

started working on it before any adults noticed

were his parents not there?

CheeseItOn · 27/01/2026 12:30

I'd message the parents and say there is a charge of £X for the extra robot kit Dave did and do they want to pay you for it so he can have it?

MamaagainJuly2026 · 27/01/2026 12:28

Who collected Dave from the party? I am on your side here but also he’s 7 and I’m assuming you would of had to pay for the extra kit, I would of just explained to the parent at the door and see if they’d put the extra £10 that it cost me for Dave’s sneaky behaviour.

Allswellthatendswelll · 27/01/2026 12:27

Seeline · 27/01/2026 09:20

If he/parents queries where it is, just say he can have it if they pay the extra.

Perfect- "Sorry we only budgeted for one project per child. If he would like it then I'll send you the details to pick it up."

Livpool · 27/01/2026 12:25

I wouldn’t give it to it to him - he sounds like a brat!

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 27/01/2026 12:21

Uptightmumma · 27/01/2026 12:19

I would definitely say to the parents. Here’s Dave craft. He was told he could only do one but he done two anyway: if he wants the other one it will £x. Thanks

Show quote history

100% this.
His parents should know what a little shit he is

Original poster
WorriedAboutRae · 27/01/2026 12:19

NoKnit · 27/01/2026 12:16

For goodness sake if you've been stewing over the actions of a 7 year old little boy then that says a fair bit. Yes he did wrong, ok don't give him the robot but stewing over it waisting your own time and energy.

Show quote history

Alright chill out 😂

OP posts:
Uptightmumma · 27/01/2026 12:19

WorriedAboutRae · 27/01/2026 11:17

Dave definitely knew what he was doing, definitely didn’t forget, and definitely didn’t care. He sneered at me when I talked to him about it, and this is what I have been stewing on overnight 😂 I might not have minded so much if he had been apologetic and well behaved.

Thanks everyone, I don’t feel bad about it now, I definitely shouldn’t reward the bad behaviour.

I would definitely say to the parents. Here’s Dave craft. He was told he could only do one but he done two anyway: if he wants the other one it will £x. Thanks

NoKnit · 27/01/2026 12:16

WorriedAboutRae · 27/01/2026 11:17

Dave definitely knew what he was doing, definitely didn’t forget, and definitely didn’t care. He sneered at me when I talked to him about it, and this is what I have been stewing on overnight 😂 I might not have minded so much if he had been apologetic and well behaved.

Thanks everyone, I don’t feel bad about it now, I definitely shouldn’t reward the bad behaviour.

For goodness sake if you've been stewing over the actions of a 7 year old little boy then that says a fair bit. Yes he did wrong, ok don't give him the robot but stewing over it waisting your own time and energy.

Lurkingandlearning · 27/01/2026 11:50

Don't give it to him. If you do you will just be reinforcing his idea that he can do and have whatever he likes when he likes.

It's not your job to teach him not to steal and good manners, that's for his parents to do, but it will be kind for at least someone to care enough to bother.

Original poster
WorriedAboutRae · 27/01/2026 11:17

Dave definitely knew what he was doing, definitely didn’t forget, and definitely didn’t care. He sneered at me when I talked to him about it, and this is what I have been stewing on overnight 😂 I might not have minded so much if he had been apologetic and well behaved.

Thanks everyone, I don’t feel bad about it now, I definitely shouldn’t reward the bad behaviour.

OP posts:
MimiGC · 27/01/2026 10:03

As others have said, I wouldn’t want to reward bad behaviour, which this definitely was. I wouldn’t give it to him, and if challenged by him or his parents (surely not!) I would say there were 6 boys at the party and you collected 6 products, so here’s yours and that’s that.

BollyMolly · 27/01/2026 09:52

I wouldn’t give it to him. It would go straight in the bin. We don’t reward sneaky behaviour and stealing.

NoKnit · 27/01/2026 09:50

This is something my son could easily have done and I would have been mortified.

No nothing to do with how I'm bringing him up thanks so everyone cab get off their high horses.

You should have told Dave's parents at the time, in fact you still could and they will probably offer to pay.

His behaviour isn't all that bad he probably just thought he had an opportunity to not get caught or forgot you said no. He is 7 after all.

Not inviting him ever again is harsh. At the end of the day you have to let him decide who he is friends with

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 27/01/2026 09:44

I think I'd not hand it over, why should he get two and his friends (and birthday boy) only get one? Unless it's turned out really rubbish then I'd hand it over as something the parents would have to find space for!

SilverPink · 27/01/2026 09:44

If you’ve had to pay for it keep it and give it your own child.

Stompythedinosaur · 27/01/2026 09:43

I'd give it out. You've already paid for it. Its not worth the conflict over. Just don't invite Dave to similar things in future.

PurpleThistle7 · 27/01/2026 09:39

I wouldn't want to reward his behaviour but also probably wouldn't want a fight over £7 or whatever. Think I'd not hand it over unless asked and then make a bit of a fuss about it (oh, I couldn't work out why I had an extra one as every child was only given one project, let me see how much it is to pick it up... delay delay) Definitely no further invites though!

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