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AIBU?

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Original poster

Pre-teens no longer want friends to come round?

31 replies

Hufflemuff · 27/01/2026 05:58

I have a preteen DS11 who just loves coming home and relaxing after school. Has sports on Tuesday night and one weekend day, but just has no interest in having mates over. Not even for a sleepover - which i was nagged about all the way through school years 4-6. He played out constantly throughout his younger years, i would have to drag him in!

Ive spoken to a few friends and theyre all saying the same. Once their childs hit year 7, they're treating school friends like work colleagues. Getting on well at school - but home time is "for them" and no-one wants to go to their friends house after school anymore - meet up on weekends etc...

AIBU to worry?! Hes content, home and happy. I know where he is and what hes doing - so should I shut up and just enjoy it!?

OP posts:
Original poster
Hufflemuff · 27/01/2026 07:26

PollyBell · 27/01/2026 06:24

Worry about what? Why do parents keep on adding to worry list? Are they happy Is there any issues if no then what is the problem?

I was wondering if its not just my DS (or my friends kids from my little sample asking IRL) - whether others have noticed the same and this was more a societal thing.

I worry because time inside feels like a waste in some ways. I was hoping to exchange thoughts on why this is the case - if it is indeed common for many kids.

OP posts:
CuppaTandBicky · 27/01/2026 07:22

I think we just need to let them be.

ResultsMayVary · 27/01/2026 06:28

I experienced the same year 7 and 8. I'm assuming peer pressure is quite stressful and they need the downtime. I recall one day DS said he couldn't have people over as out kitchen cupboards were an embarassing colour. They were natural timber lol but clearly not stylish enough.

By year 9 he:d become more social outside of school and was pushing boundaries

PollyBell · 27/01/2026 06:24

Worry about what? Why do parents keep on adding to worry list? Are they happy Is there any issues if no then what is the problem?

MinnieMountain · 27/01/2026 06:07

I think going up to secondary school is a big adjustment. DS(12) is doing well but there's more homework and stricter rules so he just wants to do his own thing at home.

PevenseygirlQQ · 27/01/2026 06:02

My son’s the same, now 16. He does have friends over occasionally, and he goes to theirs but not like in primary, and he has never wanted to do a sleepover ever!