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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

SIL perfect pictures

63 replies

Hayheyhayhey · 26/01/2026 17:56

My SIL has taken some of the most perfect, aesthetically pleasing photos of her under 6 month old. From newborn to now. They are currently on holiday, think, back of the head crawling in the sand toward horizon shot.
I feel so much less of a parent looking at her photos. They have beautiful black and white hand holding ones. Horizon shots in the sand. Matching Christmas pyjamas etc etc

I dont have nay photographs that match the class of hers. But I loves my kids so much.
Have I failed them by not taking the Instagram worthy shots?
I feel like a total failure.
For the record I have 3, 6 and under and I feel I should have done better like my sil

OP posts:
Christmasinmecar · 26/01/2026 18:43

YouWillNeverGuessMyUsername · 26/01/2026 18:32

I don't believe that this 5 month old can crawl...

Might be crawling with something though....😁So daft to compare yourself with her.

Wells37 · 26/01/2026 18:41

Ask her to take some photos for you ! She would probably be flattered.
Some parents spend a fortune on professional photos. Some people are just better photographers.
Stop over thinking it, it doesn’t make you a better parent!

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 26/01/2026 18:40

NovemberMorn · 26/01/2026 18:10

By that criteria, my husband must be a crap partner.
I don't think he has ever taken a pic of me unless I am gurning or the wind has whipped my hair over my face.🙄

😂me too

PatsFishTank · 26/01/2026 18:38

I grew up in the 1970s and there are very few photos of me as a kid as my parents didn't have a camera. It had no bearing on my happy, stable childhood.

MindYourUsage · 26/01/2026 18:33

Social Media has really fucked us up hasn't it.

YouWillNeverGuessMyUsername · 26/01/2026 18:32

I don't believe that this 5 month old can crawl...

YouWillNeverGuessMyUsername · 26/01/2026 18:31

Wow, since when did spending time getting the perfect shot make you a perfect parent?.

I must have missed that memo.

LaurieFairyCake · 26/01/2026 18:30

I’m not sure I’ve ever taken a decent photo of the children, we all still like each other

ClaredeBear · 26/01/2026 18:29

Just get down on the floor with your subject matter.

Idontspeakgermansorry · 26/01/2026 18:29

Yes, you've clearly completely failed your children. Maybe reach out to SIL to ask for guidance?

steff13 · 26/01/2026 18:27

You're not a bad parent because you don't take professional-quality photos. But if you want better photos, you can learn to take better photos. Your phone probably has a lot of settings that would make your photos better, you just need to learn to use them.

needtoforget · 26/01/2026 18:27

OP, my SIL has been similar. Kids in perfect poses wearing matching outfits on her holiday pics. And my pictures - kids with uncombed hair and wearing whatever we happened to find that day. And not posing with perfect little smiley faces. But guess what, I actually feel my pics are more genuine and more of real life than hers. I prefer it that way 100%.

Nevermind17 · 26/01/2026 18:27

Are your children fed, clothed, housed, warm, loved, played with and educated? You’re doing great as a parent then.

We don’t measure good parenting by photography skills, thank goodness!

JLou08 · 26/01/2026 18:23

So your SIL is good at photography. That doesn't make her a better parent. It's no different to someone being good at netball.

poetryandwine · 26/01/2026 18:23

Because you sound like you may be a bit depressed OP, I will throw in that @HeddaGarbled , while hilarious, is almost surely being sarcastic

Barrellturn · 26/01/2026 18:23

I have a lot of photos of my husband's feet in various locations when I said "take a photo of us please!" But you know, I actually remember more of the day based on what he's standing on or his shoes that year 😄

Theonlywayicanloveyou · 26/01/2026 18:22

How many times have you looked at a picture of yourself as a baby? How much do you really care about those picture, apart from the odd sweet one where you’re really laughing or covered in chocolate cake or something?

Exactly.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

mzpq · 26/01/2026 18:21

Hayheyhayhey · 26/01/2026 18:10

For THoose asking if this is a wind up. It genuinely isn't!
My SIL has such beautiful photographer worthy photos THAT SHE has created at home to commemorate her DC milestones.i didn't even think to do this myself. The photos are lovely. Ones you could put on your wall, and now I feel I've missed my boat/opportunity to do so with my DC.
her photos are beautiful mine are just ones of my DC playing normally not lighted or composed etc

Can you send us your details so we can report you to Child Services?

Or 101.

Or something.

mzpq · 26/01/2026 18:19

Have I failed them by not taking the Instagram worthy shots?

Oh stop it for goodness sake 🙄

Some of the AIBU questions lately are ridiculous.

BauhausOfEliott · 26/01/2026 18:19

Sounds like photography is her hobby, and she's good at it. It's got nothing to do with parenting.

If your SIL could play the piano, would you feel like a failure because you couldn't?

Spoodles · 26/01/2026 18:18

SleepingStandingUp · 26/01/2026 18:15

If your sil's photos are affecting you this much, genuinely I think you should talk to your gp about your mood and how you're coping atm
I've never looked at a photo and assumed someone must love their kid more than I do cos it's a bit more professional looking

I agree. This reaction suggests you should probably speak to someone about how you're feeling. You have three young children and you sound like you need some support with your mental health.

SilverPink · 26/01/2026 18:17

If it’s affecting you this much it’s probably time you came off instagram op

SleepingStandingUp · 26/01/2026 18:15

If your sil's photos are affecting you this much, genuinely I think you should talk to your gp about your mood and how you're coping atm
I've never looked at a photo and assumed someone must love their kid more than I do cos it's a bit more professional looking

GreenGodiva · 26/01/2026 18:15

Honestly you are over thinking this. I love photography and was taught to take photos on an slr that my dad had 40 years ago. I love lining up a good picture and capturing memories but that means I actually have lovely photos of my kids and almost none of me with them. Because it’s always been me that takes the photos, for the entire family. I’d give 99% of my thousands and thousands of photos back to have just a few half decent ones of me actually being present in the moment with my kids instead of seeing every single experience through a camera Lense.

LoserWinner · 26/01/2026 18:11

Good lord! When my kids were little, it was the odd snap with a Kodak instamatic. Loads of (mostly bad) photos of the first child, fewer with number 2, and nothing but school photos by the time we got to number 5. They have all managed to grow up to be perfectly well adjusted adults.