Older teens and junk food

3 teen boys all into sport and healthy eating. I simply don't buy sugary cereals, crisps, biscuits or chocolate. There is always plenty of fruit, which has natural sugar anyway, veg sticks and hummus in fridge plus snacks like cheese, pepperoni sticks or sometimes hard boiled eggs or they can make scrambled eggs on toast or baked beans on toast if they can't wait until dinner.

I have read it. We’re telling you to work on moderation and teach them how to self police like that, from a young age. And you’re hearing it as, “allow as much junk as they want all their childhood.”

But I have two very healthy, fit, strong sporty boys (who also spend a lot of time sitting on their backsides due to chess practice and gaming) and you have overweight kids with high blood pressure. We have very different parenting styles when it comes to food and how relaxed we are about it and about not creating “forbidden items” but you don’t seem to want to listen to anyone about that. Just sayin… your way didn’t really work out well, did it?

If it’s their own money then I think you should let them make their own choices about how to spend it. That’s developmentally appropriate and they need to learn how to budget and self-regulate. They can’t do that if you insist on controlling everything. I would explain to the younger ones that their siblings are older than they are and therefore have more money and more agency over how they spend it. Tell the older ones to keep their junk food away from the younger ones and not share it with them unless you’ve given permission.

So they likely buy junk because they don’t have it at home? My teen doesn’t buy junk from the shops (maybe the odd pack of sweets) because we have chocolate bars, crisps and biscuits at home. I have no issues with her coming in from school and having a chocolate bar or packet of crisps. She eats her meals, she plays sports. If they’re overweight then yes maybe this is an issue but they’ll only do something about if they feel they need to, or when they are ready to do so.

I can’t imagine having no nice snacks in the cupboard and my kids only being able to eat fruit etc but that’s just my opinion.

is it unreasonable not letting a 17 year old have crisps or biscuits each day? Yes! Unless they’re a professional athlete. They are nearly adults!

Just leave them alone.
If they want to eat this stuff, they definitely will, now or later.

Really? Aren’t most people saying everything in moderation, don’t make anything forbidden because then it’s a temptation and they turn into this.

Everything in moderation and allowing them to enjoy food and have fun with it and cook together as a family etc is not the same as “unlimited junk food.”

Again, it’s just poor parenting if you don’t understand the difference because you’re again showing that it’s all or nothing with you. You don’t understand just having it available because you think it means shoving it down their throats everyday.

Do you have issues with food, OP?

I hated this once they had their own money to spend, but ultimately it is their money and their bodies.

DS1 is now 25 and eats what I'd call a sensible varied diet again now. DS2 is 22 and Im still waiting for him to come out the other side.

Also, what are their other health issues OP? Could those health issues be linked to overeating?

Which poster said give them plenty of junk food?

I think you need to work with the GP to find the underlying cause of the binge eating. I don’t think heavy handedness will work, they’ll just secretly binge.

The later you leave it, the harder it will be to tackle, as you’re already discovering. And then once they leave home you will have no way to help them at all and their obesity will severely shorten their lifespan.

GLP1’s are not new, they have been being diagnosed for many years to diabetics so any long term side effects are known. The GP may think it’s worth a try?

I will never understand the "Oh, give them plenty of junk food at home, otherwise they'll get addicted to junk food when they're older" line. I suspect it's total bollocks.

Or maybe I should start giving my 10 year old a glass of wine a night to ensure he doesn't become a raging alcoholic when he's older? 😆

@Pinkyelloworangeandred try not to let the smug MNers on this thread get to you about your parenting.

It's all very well them saying don't restrict, make junk food freely available, but in the real world there are many, many people who are instinctive bingers and cannot exercise sufficient self-control - I know, I am one of them, as is my brother. My mum and sister are not, one of my nephews is. It's taken my brother and I decades to change the way we eat. I still enjoy overeating now and then (especially at Christmas), but it's all homemade, quality food, no junk.

Any thread on here about weight loss or junk food is always divided between the people who will hoover up every bit of chocolate in the house (and therefore can't have it around) and the ones who still have Christmas chocolate in the house at Easter (and it's probably only a feeble bag of coins at that). I don't think the two groups understand each other.

Unfortunately, I don't think there's much you can do except try to support your kids to educate themselves and get out of this pattern when they want to. Given their gaming and likeminded friends, that will be a huge struggle, no point beating around the bush.

Sadly and believe me, it can get worse. Hiding and making food a secret is truly awful.

I try and have little mini choc bars/biccies in the house otherwise mine will come back with those jumbo bars!

Are you concerned about their weight/size? Can you encourage exercise etc to offset the junk? But i do appreciate thats really hard.

What was their diet like as kids? Was junk food really restricted?

Or alternatively, if it's eliminated from their diet, they might stop craving it and lose the addiction?

Heavy restriction on the types of food you’re referring to will inevitably lead to overeating it later down the line.
I think also that labelling it as “junk” will be making it more attractive.
It’s just food. Granted it’s less nutritionally valuable than other foods, but it’s still just food.
It’s also really unreasonable to confiscate it. If they want to spend their money on it, that’s their choice. It’s not heroin for goodness sake.
Your snarky comment about having to supply new clothes when their clothes no longer fit? I hope you aren’t commenting to your children about their weight.
As parents, we guide, we lead by example, we teach, we boost them. You just seem to be wanting to order them around and, for older teens, that won’t work and they’ll resent you hugely for it.
Relax a bit and share a pizza with them.

Having been that teen that you are referring to, I think you should do the following:

• check in with mental health- are they a bit depressed and using food as a crutch?
• keep them busy- are the seeing friends, going out, doing things that other normal teens do?
• offer them choices with dinners - what do they want to eat? Buy it for them.

Controversial but if my teen were clinically obese, eating food in their bedroom and suffering from high blood pressure, I would be investigating monjouro (if they wanted that). It sounds like this is not a regular teen who is just eating a bit too much junk but someone who is really struggling with their weight and making good choices.
i wasted far too much of my youth doing the same and life is for living, not binge eating and being unhappy.

Well I disagree. I’d make them responsible for all clothing and phone spending.

and start charging them rent. No one should be spending hundreds on junk food every month because they’re not paying rent 🤷‍♀️

This will naturally cut down the amount of food to spend on treats. Adult responsibilities first, they are old enough.