Husband left his friends who I don’t know alone in our house with our 6 month old

If they'd been your friends who your husband didn't know and you'd had to leave your wee one with them because of an emergency do you think your husband would be upset with you about it?

The baby evidently was perfectly safe. OP arrived home and the baby was fine.

Statistically it would be in more danger travelling in a car.

You hope they have. But six month olds are crap at talking aren’t they, so OP just has to hope the baby was perfectly safe. She couldn’t take a judgement call as she doesn’t know these people in question and her DH didn’t run it past her.

I also think what he did was sensible. These aren’t just passing friends, he’s known them his whole life and trusts them and it was a genuine emergency.

He was better off leaving baby with them rather than taking the baby in the car with an extremely upset, possibly crying out in agony, 11 year old in the back seat with them.

Over the years there are going to be plenty of decisions you are going to have to make in the moment about your child without consulting the other parent. You need to trust each other to decide what is best at the time.

This

What have the 1970s got to do with anything ?

Do you think he resented you going out?

If anything, he would have done the opposite if he resented the OP going out for a few hours, surely ? He's have called her and ended the time she was having with her friend.

It doesn't seem like the best idea for him to invite his mates round when left with the baby for longer than before

It seems an excellent time as they all share a first language that the OP doesn't share. It means everyone can relax and not have to be translating every word.

He should have been giving her his full attention.

Wait, are you seriously suggesting that as parents, we shouldn't ever have anybody round when we are looking after our dc ? I've heard some batshit things on MN in my time, but......

But the real problem is doesn't think her husband is an equal parent and he should be running even emergency decisions by her. That's controlling and pretty demeaning towards her husband. She thinks he should have taken the baby and tough for the child with multiple fractures who needed someone there beside her to stabilize her and comfort her. She's wrong and unless her husband has done something off the wall with their baby, trust him to do the right thing. He did here.

Absolutely spot on.

If they are close, family friends who he trusts then sorry YABU.

If they were work "friends" your husband had only known for 6 months in the office, who "seemed okay", then that would have been different.

I mean, what are you worried could have happened?

Absolutely what a star guy, and star friends who were happy to step in and care for baby in a moment of crisis.

Honestly when you have an injured child, someone getting you both to hospital, taking that stress off is an absolute God send.

Probably someone has already pointed this out upthread but just to say again.. a 6month old baby is probably in more danger going to an A&E full of people with God knows what illnesses than they are staying at home for an hour with some trusted friends of your husbands

As the child's father he has a right to decide who is competent in looking after your child. Ideally you would discuss that jointly before hand as both of you should have input. However this was an emergency and he made a judgement call that its his right to make.
Unless you think he's a total idiot whose friends are shady then there's no issue here. He knows those people well and decided it was ok to trust them with the baby. And it sounds like it was the right decision as the baby was cared for.
It was an emergency situation. As I said in day to day life you should discuss these decisions together but that's not always possible.

For example my DH had one of his work colleagues watch our baby due to me being in hospital once. He did this without telling me before hand (because this happened suddenly) and I had never met this person . I was not angry at all because I know he made a decision in the moment and I know he's not stupid and he cares for and loves that baby as much as I do. He would not leave her with someone he didn't trust. And in turn I trust his judgement. I have since met the work colleague who did this and she is a lovely woman with kids of her own so I had it confirmed that I was right to trust my husbands judgement.

I’m told I’m super protective (neurotic!) when it comes to my kids but I think what he did was fine.

6 months isn’t newborn - they’re generally pretty robust at that age but also not over mobile so I’m sure most groups of 3 average adults could cope for an hour without the baby coming to harm. The DH knew them well so no concerns re “bad” people or abduction etc. (I appreciate you can never be 100% but you could say that about the dad too).

An accident is probably less likely with three people concentrating on baby duty than one parent who is used to baby and maybe more complacent.

I might have felt a bit uncomfortable at the idea of it but I think he did the best thing for everyone in the emergency circumstances.

If he had to do the hospital run he should have taken your baby.

But thw baby would have been at far more risk being taken out in the cold. Depending on the sister’s injuries, she may have needed to lie across the back seat, meaning the baby would need to be in the front seat, which is more dangerous again. He may have had to assist his mum and sister getting into A&E - again - more risk of dropping or shaking the car seat while he was doing so. Not to mention the risks of germs in a hospital. Why would anyone do that when
there were three - three - trusted competent adults willing and able to sit with the baby for an hour? Ultimately, it is the judgement of the person in charge which prevails and in this case, that person was the baby’s father because the mother was out with her friend. Nothing wrong with that at all - but it means that she has handed over the reins to him and his judgement. Which in this case was to leave the baby with trusted friends. If OP can’t deal with that, then she can’t leave the baby. (And it’s not a sexist point - I’d say the same to a man complaining about childcare sourced by his wife.).

How would he have got them all in the car?

The injured child would have been in the back and needing physical and emotional support from her mum. You can't put a baby in the front seat.

So how would you have got them all in the car?

There would have also been a completely unnecessary delay. An eleven year old girl had broken bones and needed to get to hospital ASAP.

The baby was left with competent adults who the father had known since he was a toddler.

So what? The point is surely that the actual father of the baby knew them and trusted them, and the fact is the baby was fine.

Honestly, if anyone thinks dh did the wrong thing here they need to have a serious think about the priorities involved between a seriously hurt child and OP's ego.

It's absolutely not okay. If he had to do the hospital run he should have taken your baby. It's not the 1970s. Do you think he resented you going out? It doesn't seem like the best idea for him to invite his mates round when left with the baby for longer than before. He should have been giving her his full attention.

It's not easy for anyone to comment when they dont know you, your OH or your relationship. So, do you trust your husband? Do you normally have a good solid mature relationship? What was the nature of the visit , were the friends of his drinking, clearly your OH wasn't because he drove his sister to hospital. Is this girl a child? Couldn't another family member have taken her instead. What kind of people are the friends, do they understand the needs of very young babies? I think that your OH could have rung you and asked you to return to the house but he felt that it was OK to leave the baby sleeping with his friends one of whom was a woman whilst he went with his sister. Remember too his an equal parent to the baby you share and he made a judgement call. Tell your OH that your little one is not quite old enough in your opinion to be left with other people and both of you should agree in future who your little one is left with although you appreciate this was an emergency. We did this, evenings out , when our children were about 1 and likely to sleep. Using parents as sitters

Gosh, some of the comments are ridiculous, do you not trust your husband? Are you saying the husband doesn't give a shit about his own child??

A six month baby is not a newborn. Probably sitting up and fairly sociable at that age. I was quite protective of my kids and I'd have absolutely no problem with this. I imagine the friends had a lovely time entertaining the baby- I'm sure 3 adults could cope for an hour between them. The sad thing is people are so bad at judging risk that they think that would be a riskier situation than taking a 6 month old to a hospital in a stressful situation - the baby is statistically much more likely to come to harm during the drive.

…and did it all while respecting that OP was having a rare treat so not worrying her by unnecessarily drawing her in until after the event. Gold stars all round in my book!

And if they don’t drive?

YANBU at all, you're having a normal reaction. I'm sure you will come to rationalise and realise he made the best decision he felt he could at the time. Its ok to have feelings and discomfort and struggle with decisions the other parent makes, it's all part of it, and sometimes it's hard. You're not overreacting, you're having a completely normal response.

Bizarre that you're looking for some kind of jury verdict over this. It was an emergency. He did what he thought was best - as you would have done if the situation was reversed. He trusts his friends. Your child was fine. Just have a talk and agree what you'd both do next time in a similar situation.

It doesn’t matter the mother barely knows them, she wasn’t the one having to make the decision whether to leave the baby in their care.

I understand why you are uncomfortable. I would be too - but all's well that ends well. He knows them well and trusts them, it was an emergency and everything went well.

But talk to your DH and ask him to call you and at least let you know if there's a change in plans in future.
He isn't looking after DC everyday and leaving her with someone would not be a big deal for him. He probably doesn't appreciate how big a deal it is for you.