Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband left his friends who I don’t know alone in our house with our 6 month old

932 replies

28loloie · 26/01/2026 14:52

So I’m not sure if I’m over reacting.

DD is 6 months old, I haven’t left her alone with anyone properly yet, I’ve left her with DH while I go a walk but the longest I’ve been away from her until yesterday was maybe an hour.

Yesterday I went to brunch without DD for a few hours, it was my friends birthday and I really wanted to go. DH said he would have DD and invited a few of his friends who I don’t know super well (they live in the city so we don’t meet them often) to keep him company.

I got back yesterday afternoon, his friends were still there. I asked how everything had gone and DH told me he had to nip out for an hour as his little sister needed dropped to A&E, so he left DD with his friends. Apparently she was fine. 1 of his friends is female, 2 were male. He reckons he was gone for just over an hour and his friends said that they gave her a bottle but other than that she was happy just getting cuddled.

We have never left DD with someone who wasn’t me or DH before. I always figured our parents would be the first people we left DD with. I don’t know these friends and while I’m sure it was fine, I can’t feel certain that they are good people. DH thinks I’m over reacting, she was perfectly safe. I feel he made a unilateral decision which could have been easily avoided if he just took DD with him.

AIBU to feel he shouldn’t have done this.

OP posts:
OVienna · 26/01/2026 15:37

NerrSnerr · 26/01/2026 15:35

Have you tried to call an ambulance recently? She could have been waiting hours as the ambulance service is massively stretched. This was the best plan for an 11 year old who would have been in agony.

Show quote history

Have you literally never had to look after more than one child at a time?

alexdgr8 · 26/01/2026 15:37

Everythingmadu · 26/01/2026 15:17

This.

Show quote history

I would have called an ambulance for an injured child.

sittingonabeach · 26/01/2026 15:36

Could DH not look after DD on his own, did he need friends with him?

soupyspoon · 26/01/2026 15:36

28loloie · 26/01/2026 15:30

His dad has passed away, his mum is as with her but can’t drive so asked DH to drop them off.

Show quote history

Did he message you and would you have come back if necessary?

I dont agree with the asumption by other posters that he could have just taken baby and she and he stay in the car at the drop off

You never know what you're going to get at A+E, the sister and their mum might have needed physical support getting into the building, finding a chair, finding a wheelchair or whatever is necessary and none of them are going to know what they need or awaits them, they're not medics. What are you going to do wtih baby then?

Beakthrough · 26/01/2026 15:36

CatNoBag · 26/01/2026 15:35

Why on earth did your husband need someone to keep him company whilst he was LOOKING AFTER HIS OWN CHILD?!

Maybe his friends wanted to visit his baby?Maybe it was an opportunity to see his friends that doesn't impact on family time? He seems quite capable of handling a situation to me.

K0OLA1D · 26/01/2026 15:36

OVienna · 26/01/2026 15:33

'Screaming in agony' and the whole thing swings on the DH?

Call an ambulance?

Show quote history

Lol

NerrSnerr · 26/01/2026 15:35

OVienna · 26/01/2026 15:33

'Screaming in agony' and the whole thing swings on the DH?

Call an ambulance?

Show quote history

Have you tried to call an ambulance recently? She could have been waiting hours as the ambulance service is massively stretched. This was the best plan for an 11 year old who would have been in agony.

bumptybum · 26/01/2026 15:35

Heronwatcher · 26/01/2026 14:58

No YANBU. They could have been anyone. Who knows whether they might have fed the baby the wrong thing, put them to sleep on a sofa, not noticed that a nappy needed changing. Would they have known what to do if the baby started screaming, was sick, or worse injured herself. I’m not even going down the road of child abuse or shaken babies here for it to be pretty bad.

He should have taken the baby to A&E with him, asked his sister to take a taxi or at worst called you and dropped baby at the brunch on his way (not ideal but I’d have preferred this to leaving her with three total strangers).

Would you leave your baby alone for an hour with your friends?

Beakthrough · 26/01/2026 15:35

Where were the sister's parents, and why didn't they step in for their daughter? Your husband's overriding duty is to his own newborn.I would be asking myself why he didn't phone you to explain, wait for you to return, then go with his sister if needed.Absolutely not ok.

As an adult and parent, I'd hope he felt equipped to deal with the situation without asking OP to cancel her first afternoon out in 6m.

CatNoBag · 26/01/2026 15:35

Why on earth did your husband need someone to keep him company whilst he was LOOKING AFTER HIS OWN CHILD?!

Butonlyjust · 26/01/2026 15:35

OVienna · 26/01/2026 15:33

'Screaming in agony' and the whole thing swings on the DH?

Call an ambulance?

Show quote history

likely told that 45 minute wait!!

EuclidianGeometryFan · 26/01/2026 15:34

We have never left DD with someone who wasn’t me or DH before. I always figured our parents would be the first people we left DD with.

Perhaps you are upset because one of baby's "firsts" has been spoiled?
As in you were imagining a big occasion for the first time leaving baby, with the GP, as a milestone. And now this has been pre-empted.

Imdunfer · 26/01/2026 15:33

NerrSnerr · 26/01/2026 15:29

Would it be probably just about ok if the mum had an emergency and had to leave the baby with friends for an hour or is it just a man who can’t make this call?

Show quote history

The sex never occurred to me. I would not want a child of 6 months who had never been without a parent before left with people who had zero experience of a child of 6 months old.

FreePurpleCoffee · 26/01/2026 15:33

Goactually · 26/01/2026 15:04

Clearly it was an emergency with his sister,broken arm and clavicle is bloody awful.
He knows his friends well and he obviously had to make a quick decision. Taking baby to AE as well would have been really awful.

This.

Massive case of PFB. Baby was safe, warm, and better off in her own home.

OVienna · 26/01/2026 15:33

Butonlyjust · 26/01/2026 15:31

Now imagine….
Baby has just started a bottle when he receives the call. So she needs to finish that.

and then of course burping

and…. Oh… poonami
Wash and change

she’s still hungry!

Ok a small bottle

Meanwhile a young girl screaming in agony

Show quote history

'Screaming in agony' and the whole thing swings on the DH?

Call an ambulance?

BrieAndChilli · 26/01/2026 15:33

I trust DH to make the right decision with the kids - he is their dad so able to make his own decisions about what is right. Sometimes it is not always the same one I would make - I have anxiety about some things but trust that he is just making a normal decision, not hampered by my over thinking!

Kids are 15, 17 and 19 now so obviously things all worked out ok!

Sostewedover · 26/01/2026 15:32

Major question is why you don't know your husband's friends with whom he is happy to leave his baby. Another major question is why you would not trust his judgement.

Butonlyjust · 26/01/2026 15:31

OVienna · 26/01/2026 15:27

@Butonlyjust I would have had to take my DDs as I was breastfeeding at that stage anyway. Needs must.

Now imagine….
Baby has just started a bottle when he receives the call. So she needs to finish that.

and then of course burping

and…. Oh… poonami
Wash and change

she’s still hungry!

Ok a small bottle

Meanwhile a young girl screaming in agony

Spookyspaghetti · 26/01/2026 15:30

dairydebris · 26/01/2026 14:59

His little sister needed to be taken to A and E? Your baby is fine? He presumably knows and trusts his friends? What do you think he should have done instead?

Put the baby in the car seat and taken the baby.

No way would I leave a non verbal child with any unrelated male. It’s just not worth the risk and no way for the child to tell you if something happens.

Original poster
28loloie · 26/01/2026 15:30

lifeinmyfortress · 26/01/2026 15:09

Where were the sister's parents, and why didn't they step in for their daughter? Your husband's overriding duty is to his own newborn.I would be asking myself why he didn't phone you to explain, wait for you to return, then go with his sister if needed.Absolutely not ok.

His dad has passed away, his mum is as with her but can’t drive so asked DH to drop them off.

OP posts:
NerrSnerr · 26/01/2026 15:29

Imdunfer · 26/01/2026 15:21

Did the friends have any experience of dealing with tiny babies?

Possibly just about OK if they did and big fat NO of they didn't.

Would it be probably just about ok if the mum had an emergency and had to leave the baby with friends for an hour or is it just a man who can’t make this call?

OVienna · 26/01/2026 15:27

@Butonlyjust I would have had to take my DDs as I was breastfeeding at that stage anyway. Needs must.

VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 26/01/2026 15:27

LunaDeBallona · 26/01/2026 15:18

Personally I think it’s odd that he invited three friends round while he was parenting his own child for a few hours for the first time.
Why couldn’t he just spend time with his daughter/run the hoover round /prep dinner/iron etc?
Why did he feel the need to have three mates round? FOMO because you were ‘out’?
If he hadn’t had these friends round he could have just done what the rest of us would have done and taken her with him.
I personally wouldn’t like my baby being left with people I don’t really know but I wouldn’t like my husband having to have three mates round when he is supposed to be looking after his own child.
Any money he is one of these ‘parents’ who says he is ‘babysitting’ when it’s his own child??

Really? I used to quite often have friends round when DD was little and DP was out. It meant I could see my friends, they got to meet DD, without DP having her already limited free time being interrupted by my friends.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 26/01/2026 15:27

28loloie · 26/01/2026 15:07

Taken DD with him to pick his sister and mum up, drop them at the hospital and then come home with her.

Show quote history

Why? Your DD would have been worse off with this set up by far. He made a sensible choice in an unexpected situation and she was absolutely fine.

OVienna · 26/01/2026 15:26

Butonlyjust · 26/01/2026 15:25

Have you left home with a 6 month old recently @OVienna ?

Show quote history

Hi
I have two children. What does it matter how recently it is?

Swipe left for the next trending thread