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AIBU?

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Original poster

Having a duvet day

65 replies

WineBeforeWhine · 26/01/2026 12:15

Why do I feel guilty doing nothing. I had planned on going out, but it’s so cold outside I decided to stay home. I’m retired and my time is my own, but having a day like this makes me feel guilty that I’ve wasted it. How can I just enjoy a day like this?

OP posts:
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Coffeeishot · 27/01/2026 12:54

The weather is foul here i have been out to bring bins round, that is me for the day i shall be plonked on the sofa catching up on pottery throw down and napping.

Fairygardenx · 27/01/2026 12:47

After my massage yesterday im now fully relaxed.
Today is pissing down with rain rough wind my favourite weather.
So going to rot on the sofa and watch postman pat the original ones.
Yes im single childless and 39 😆.
Not a bit of guilt in sight.
And wait for my new body pillow to arrive its out for delivery.

BellissimoGecko · 27/01/2026 08:05

Remember that we’re human beings, not human doings…

You’re retired. You have been productive in your working life, and It’s perfectly fine to take a day off and just be. Enjoy!

Zanatdy · 27/01/2026 07:47

I love it when I can just stay home on the weekend. I go into the office Monday - Friday (through choice) so love a day or two of just chilling. Zero guilt.

Girlintheframe · 27/01/2026 07:17

If I didn’t have a dog to walk I would be having a duvet day today! I’m on A/L and the weather is utterly miserable. The dog however won’t care!
I find it much easier to have a duvet day in winter. In summer I may want one for a variety of reasons but find it impossible if the sun is shining.

Salome61 · 27/01/2026 00:14

I’m 69 and had a second and nastier bout of Covid in September, it floored me. I felt anxious doing nothing at first and then realised no-one knows or cares! My daughter is in Canada and my son lives an hour away. I’m still breathless but not as fatigued now and able to be out and about again. Just do what makes you happy, it isn’t anyone’s business.

Wexone · 26/01/2026 22:33

Fairygardenx · 26/01/2026 22:04

Update.
My mobile massage lady arrived, i have had my massage it was amazing.
Neck back shoulders face head decollete, all in the comfort of my own home.
Still not guilty.

love it just booked a massage for next week after seeing this ( need to wait for pay day 🤣) unfortunately no mobile ones in my area but still be good

Fairygardenx · 26/01/2026 22:04

Update.
My mobile massage lady arrived, i have had my massage it was amazing.
Neck back shoulders face head decollete, all in the comfort of my own home.
Still not guilty.

LadyKenya · 26/01/2026 21:47

WineBeforeWhine · 26/01/2026 18:36

I love that there is so much support for doing nothing.

We all lead such busy lives, to wind down can only be good for us.

You are doing something though, you are giving your body some rest, and quiet. That is important too.

statetrooperstacey · 26/01/2026 21:18

Put some knickers on the radiator , there look you’ve done laundry!! Nothing wrong with nesting and resting op. It’s nice to stay indoors and enjoy your home.

DinoLil · 26/01/2026 19:45

Do what is best for you.

Personally, I've not left the house since 31st December.

Original poster
WineBeforeWhine · 26/01/2026 19:39

BoredZelda · 26/01/2026 19:29

My mum was constantly on me if I was doing nothing. It has taken me 50 years to get over it. Enjoy your day.

Same !

OP posts:
pompomtiddly · 26/01/2026 19:38

I hope you and puss/piss cat 😄had a fab day

BoredZelda · 26/01/2026 19:29

My mum was constantly on me if I was doing nothing. It has taken me 50 years to get over it. Enjoy your day.

pompomtiddly · 26/01/2026 19:29

Just think of how many times you have been dutiful and got up and gone out in all weathers and consider this your reward. Duvet days are good for your health as well. Relax and enjoy them.

WanderlustMom · 26/01/2026 18:47

I do this at least once a week. I love a ‘rot in bed’ kind of day, recharges me for the rest of the week 😅 nothing to feel guilty about at all!

Original poster
WineBeforeWhine · 26/01/2026 18:36

I love that there is so much support for doing nothing.

We all lead such busy lives, to wind down can only be good for us.

OP posts:
Greenmouldycheese · 26/01/2026 17:36

Don't feel guilty. Sometimes your body and brain needs some down time and a duvet day is perfect for that, especially on these cold wet days. Your soul is telling you to rest and thats exactly what you did.

hididdlyho · 26/01/2026 17:24

Try telling yourself you're resting in order to get more done the next day (or whenever that might be). It's not realistic to be productive 365 days a year and many animals fully hibernate in winter, so just getting out of bed is an achievement in certain circles 😆.

Agree with the PPs saying the guilt is a learned response. My Mum was of the view that lie ins on the weekend or school holidays were the height of laziness and we should always be up and doing something. I've ended up living next door to a similar woman who regularly makes comments that I should be out working on my garden when I have a day off work. There's nothing wrong with my garden, it's not overgrown or causing her any inconvenience. I'm just working out there less often now I've landscaped it to how I want it and it just needs maintaining. It's made me realise how unhealthy not enjoying some downtime is. It's like she's incapable of relaxing, even though she tells me her health isn't great and it would likely do her the world of good.

MyMilchick · 26/01/2026 15:57

MadinMarch · 26/01/2026 12:50

You need more practice....

amen 😀

Wexone · 26/01/2026 15:52

MakeYourOwnSunshine · 26/01/2026 12:17

You can still go out when it's cold, just wrap up. I WFH and I would go stir crazy if I didn't get out every day.

this is so my mother response 🙄 some people neeed days at home. this is guilt tripping

Wexone · 26/01/2026 15:50

LadyLaLaLand · 26/01/2026 12:47

It’s also a learned response - people who feel guilty for this sort of thing have been conditioned since childhood to believe their value is based on their output, and a moral judgement is applied to condition people into thinking busy = good, idle = bad. Even the word ‘idle’ has negative associations attached to it. We seem to treat rest as some sort of moral failing or weakness, which is utterly ridiculous when you think about it.

100 per cent this. growing up younger my mother was constantly on the go. sitting down was deemed lazy even now she is retired she still can't sit still nor stay at home.
I now have a long term chronic pain condition and have to schedule rest days and manage my day to day work load or will make myself sick. but I struggle to do it without feeling guilty. 😩 as someone else said people are starting to understand we need rest days so you go ahead and do it.

Newbie8918 · 26/01/2026 15:41

MakeYourOwnSunshine · 26/01/2026 12:17

You can still go out when it's cold, just wrap up. I WFH and I would go stir crazy if I didn't get out every day.

Pointlessly and aimlessly going out because you think you should, is not an achievement!

OP every action has a purpose. Sometimes that purpose is to recharge, relax, refresh. A duvet day is purposeful in that respect and is not a waste of time. Enjoy it

aWeeCornishPastie · 26/01/2026 15:26

What @LadyLaLaLandsaid 💯

bridgetreilly · 26/01/2026 15:19

Perfect. Think of it as a cheap day spa break!