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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to put my child in full time pre-school even if I don’t need to?

31 replies

Bee16 · 26/01/2026 07:46

My child is 3 years old and currently attends nursery for 2 days a week 8am - 5pm. Grandparents then have him for 2 days a week and I work 4 days a week so we have a day together. From September (when he will be 3 years and 9 months) I was intending to enrol him at pre-school at the primary school he will be attending from September 2027. The hours would be 9am - 3pm.

I am due my second baby in a few months and intend to go back to work 4 days a week as I am now. My DH will be compressing his hours and also working 4 days a week. The plan was for us to each have a day in the week with the baby doing baby groups etc and each having some one-on-one time with the baby while my eldest is at nursery.

I’m having doubts now as I’ve had some comments recently saying it’s cruel to put him
in for 5 days when we only need childcare for 3 days and that 5 days is too much for him.

Is it unreasonable to put him in preschool for 5 days? Should I just choose 3 or 4 instead so he has a day or two in the week with us and his new sibling?

OP posts:
CactusSwoonedEnding · 26/01/2026 08:02

Yanbu at all, it it works best for you to have the 3yo in nursery 5 days that's totally fine. He'll be in school 5 days a week next year anyway. However if it were me, I would be considering making his nursery day a half day on the two days where DH or you aren't working, so you have half the day 1:1 with the baby and half the day with both of them. Only if that would be fun for everyone though.

lazyarse123 · 26/01/2026 07:56

I'm not really a fan of putting kids in childcare/nursery whatever just so you can have time without them. I suppose it's fair enough if you're run ragged and not coping but you haven't said that might be the case.
I know it's often the done thing now but you have to do what suits you and not what anyone thinks.

Kiwi09 · 26/01/2026 07:56

Mine did this and went 5 days a week 8:45am-3:25pm. My eldest was a summer born boy so young for his year group too. I was a SAHM while they were at primary as well. All the children locally did this so if I’d kept them home they’d have had no one to play with and they were use to seeing other children every day at playgroups. I got the shopping and housework done during the week so we could do fun stuff as a family at the weekends.

Allswellthatendswelll · 26/01/2026 07:54

Loads of people have their oldest in nursery for 10 hours a day when they have a second. Preschool hours are much shorter. Your husband can take the older one to the park at 3, especially as the summer comes.

DS was in preschool 4 days at 3 and 9 months when I had DD but was in school from just over 4, 5 days a week.

TwinklyPlumOrca · 26/01/2026 07:52

You'll never get this time back when they're so young and every day they are learning and changing.

Personally I'd choose 4 days max (same as now) and let little one enjoy a day with you and their younger sibling. Yes, it'll be much harder on you having to juggle both kids but once that time is gone and they are starting proper school (next year?), you won't have the option again.

At 3 my little one did 4 days at nursery for those same hours of pre-school and we did one day together with new sibling. It was the best balance. Good luck with your decision

Caughtletren · 26/01/2026 07:47

Who the heck made these comments??