People who don't read the WHOLE thread before commenting

That's a really unpleasant attitude to take towards the woman on the barber thread. There is clearly a significant issue in her marriage and you are accusing her of seeking attention and saying she should "bore off".

Oh, and you can edit your posts. You can also read before posting instead of reading afterwards.

😁I have been told off a few times yesterday

really why are others so invested read the first few words and move on

The other reason for pressing the "See All" button on the OP is so you don't waste your time on a drop and run post thats just there to rule up posters.

20 pages, no updates? No point going any further.

Yep, people tend to spin it and even put a different scenario or reason for something that’s been said or done. Whats also annoying is the LTB responses despite the couple having 1 argument about 1 thing they don’t agree on and the relationship being otherwise happy. People will literally think upending the lives of not just the posters but that of her children over a tedious disagreement

For some, it really does seem to be!

Some people are very invested in this place it seems.

Exactly this! Sometimes in the general business of, you know, having a real life, you respond to a post and then realise theres more to it. I did this on the barbers shop post and rectified it by adding a follow up, as did others, but the santimonious thread police clogged up the thread with all their passive aggressive 'read.the.updates!' posts with too many fullstops to add to the drama! 🙄 on at least 2 occasions both I and others already had, which we pointed out to then be told 'its not about you' 🙄 and now, because they havent got enough attention, a whole new thread has been started about it - bore off!

I completely understand and take much greater care on the relationship or other advice posts, but AIBU is often more lighthearted and a different vibe.

I think the barber shop post should probably have been in relationships but it is what it is.

Personally i commented, quickly realised i had not read the whole thread and added an update, thereby 'policing' myself like a grown up. If the OP wanted to call me out I'd accept it but the 'thread police' can jog on as far as i am concerned.

For me it's the equivalent on 10 people going shhhhhhh at a surprise party and making more noise than the original person.

Hopefully the op of this thread is happy now with the attention and drama 😆

Oh fgs get a life , not end of world stuff is it really ?

But you might have personal experience of the topic to contribute or just want to give the OP some encouragement. Sometimes you can't have enough of that. It's up to each person to decide how and when they post.

You don't know I don't have anything helpful to add. Sure, I have the option not to post, but you're not the thread police, it's open to anyone to post, so I can and will if I want to.

Some posters really take mumsnet very very seriously.

i wonder whether they pour as much effort into RL relationships

They don't have to though that's the point.

In fairness, if people come on to a thread and say what others have said already without having read those comments, they're not 'parroting', are they? They're spontaneously expressing the same opinion as others.
Tbh I think it can be useful to get multiple comments expressing the same sentiment at it shows the OP that most people agree/disagree/see something in the situation. If one person says something a little challenging, then everyone else who agrees just reacts to the post, but doesn't post a comment that agrees, the OP has no way of knowing if the view is niche or reflective of what most people would say.
Letting the OP see people's reactions to other people's posts might be a useful alternative.

Everyone doesn’t have time to read a whole thread! Don’t be ridiculous.

Yes you should at least read all OP’s posts. Sometimes reading everyone else’s posts is actively unhelpful though as threads so often go off in a random direction based on other posters’ assumptions about the situation 😂

Sometimes it’s awful though. There can be a really long thread where a little has happened and the first post about barbers or housework is completely irrelevant and posters blunder in and it’s jarring.

There was a one not so long ago where the OP was about the husband not helping with the chores and it turned out he was beating her up and people were telling her days later to tell him he had to take the bins out and not to take no for an answer and he was locking her in cupboards.

It’s not the same as coming on to Style and Beauty and saying ‘I like the red one’ or whatever.

Omg, just caught up on the husband / barber / anniversary dinner thread and it’s the same bloody poster as the dog crate suggestion who waded in criticising the OP without reading the updates. I assume they’re just a troll tbh.

The problem is that the people who fill up the threads telling off other posters for not reading the OP's posts become just as tedious. It becomes really difficult to find posts that actually relate to the original topic when it gets so full of virtue signallers competing with each other to slag off other posters.

Yes and we all should. People regularly come here having just discovered something distressing, having had a lightbulb moment or having had something niggling over a period of time that they need help and advice with. It's not always clear what is important or what is relevant in terms of context.

In @whatevenarethey situation it was evolving as she posted. She was getting more distressed but some replies continued to be rude and had clearly failed to filter out her responses. It's not that difficult to filter out OPs replies.

It's sad when OPs leave a thread or fail to update when they have come here for support. They find themselves having to constantly repeat or defend their posts. Often through good discussion it is clear there are other underlying and contributory issues the OP hasn't seen as relevant or connected. Yet some will ignore responses and the OPs replies.
It's particularly distressing when it involves DA or concerns about CSA.

I agree OP

Then when they are pulled up on it, you get the "Oh are you the thread police??" and "I am so sorry - I didnt have time to read EVERY post" daft comments.

So you have time to read and respond to people calling you out, but not (at the very least), the OP's comments 🙄

True but it depends on the thread and the topic.Also sometimes it’s useful to see the same advice or recommendation coming up several times as a kind of vote.

This topic has come up soooooo many times over the years. Maybe OP should have read all those threads instead of starting yet another one 😂

God yes, at least do a cursory scan of the OPs updates before commenting, otherwise you won’t know all the info.

Classic example on the thread about the sister’s poorly trained dog at the moment - the people still suggesting crates - so condescendingly! - when OP says the sister has refused to use one and the parents won’t have one in the house.

So annoying.

It doesn't really matter if people read the whole thread or dont. People can scroll on if they don't like it.

I doubt the OPs have time to sit and read through multiple pages of comments themselves but you never know they might just notice that one comment/post that you may deem pointless or repetitive.

When they start a post with "I don't know if anyone's said this yet" ... there's a way to find out! Even if you can't read you can ctrl+F!

99% of the time it's "have you tried Pregnant & Screwed" and 30 other posts have indeed suggested it.

Or "check if you've got legal advice in your home insurance" or "have you tried putting their number into WhatsApp"

I also wish there was the facility for the OP to close threads for comments once they start going round in circles with nothing new to add.