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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

People who don't read the WHOLE thread before commenting

188 replies

ExpatInSlavikLand · 26/01/2026 06:56

Unless you're completely new to commenting on MN and therefore aren't aware you can:

a) see how many pages of comments have already been made, and therefore check them before commenting, and:

b) click to read all of the OP's responses and updates

Why do you blithely ignore (what are often) reems and reems of comments and relevant responses from the OPs to put your two penneth'orth on a long-passed or clarified original post, usually parroting what multiple others have already written?

We've seen a great example of this yesterday, on the post written by a poor lady in the ME whose husband had clearly not really been in a barber shop for the two hours he'd said he'd be. We're currently on 36 pages of comments on this particular post, and we still have people commenting on the OP's original point, ignoring everything else she's since written (and in many cases being extremely unfair and nasty to her), promoting dozens of other people to kindly leap to her defense and ask these latecomers to read the entire thread before commenting.

What a mess.

OP posts:
MidnightMeltdown · 27/01/2026 02:11

I see the thread police are out in full force!

Can’t say it bothers me. What is far more annoying are people who think they have a right to dictate to others how to use a public forum!

AnnieLummox · 27/01/2026 02:09

LifeIsA · 27/01/2026 01:40

It might be disappointing to you but the reality is, no-one here is that important to anyone else, or irreplaceable by another poster.

Nobody cares 😝

Shatandfattered · 27/01/2026 02:01

Cancel the cheque

LifeIsA · 27/01/2026 01:40

AnnieLummox · 27/01/2026 01:22

Same applies to you, believe it or not.

Don’t judge me by your standards.

It might be disappointing to you but the reality is, no-one here is that important to anyone else, or irreplaceable by another poster.

Delphiniumandlupins · 27/01/2026 01:25

Notmyreality · 26/01/2026 07:14

Ha I knew this would be about the barber shop post. To be fair the OP did herself no favours by framing the post as “is it weird to go with my DH to the barber” as opposed to what she really should be asking (and still hasn’t really acknowledged) “I think my DH is cheating twice a month when he goes to the barbers for several hours”

I don't think the barber shop OP had any idea that her husband might be cheating when she started her first thread.

AnnieLummox · 27/01/2026 01:22

Same applies to you, believe it or not.

Don’t judge me by your standards.

FlowerFlour · 27/01/2026 01:19

If people just want to scream their uneducated opinion into the void they should do it on Facebook; that's what Facebook is known for. Nobody would expect you to read all the other comments on there, everybody is just blasting their opinions out into the world and don't care how it's received.

Mumsnet is (or was) a more considered discussion site, where conversations between posters progress and develop across the course of a thread, so the original post sometimes becomes basically irrelevant.

Someone on mumsnet coming on to write 'cancel the cheque!' after 800 posts looks ignorant and their posts are frustrating for people who are engaging in the discussion, while that would be an acceptable response on Facebook.

I'd like if the mumsnet mods deleted posts where the poster has clearly not read the OPs updates. It doesn't add anything to the thread and I think it repels many OPs from continuing to post updates because they are having to answer the same questions and accusations time and again, simply because posters CBA to read their previous responses.

Obviously there will always still be bunfights here - but at least all fighters will be well informed.

LifeIsA · 27/01/2026 01:02

LouH1981 · 27/01/2026 01:01

This is me, sorry OP. I’m even doing it right now. I just haven’t got time. I read the OP’s dilemma, decide if I have a view, reply (or not) then move along with my day.

Sounds reasonable.

LouH1981 · 27/01/2026 01:01

This is me, sorry OP. I’m even doing it right now. I just haven’t got time. I read the OP’s dilemma, decide if I have a view, reply (or not) then move along with my day.

LifeIsA · 27/01/2026 00:59

AnnieLummox · 27/01/2026 00:51

Then why post?

As I said before, I'm here to entertain myself. Sometimes I have something useful to say, sometimes it's just fluff or chat. I'm just waiting for my cookies to be ready in the oven while having a snack. Second batch just went in.

I'm under no illusions that if I disappeared from this site, no-one would care or notice. And I don't care about that. Same applies to you, believe it or not.

InterestedDad37 · 27/01/2026 00:55

I haven't rtft, but yeah, he's not gonna change, you should leave 😉
🦆🦆🦆🦆🦆

AnnieLummox · 27/01/2026 00:51

LifeIsA · 27/01/2026 00:45

I doubt a single person here thinks their posts are essential reading. Mostly it's just fluff or snippets of life and experience. Nothing at all essential. Some posts might be helpful to the OP but, in general, nothing would be lost by the absence of a single poster here.

Then why post?

AnnieLummox · 27/01/2026 00:49

Christmasnewyear · 26/01/2026 19:01

Was busy with work to pay my bills. Pp’s earlier responses- which I read and where OP concedes on important points, was informative.

i had a far more important point to make on behalf of genuine ops in need of advice. My post clearly proved my point.

Now, continue read the rest if the thread, will you. My point - very important- has been made. You are not even the op.

Haha! This is a brilliant parody!

LifeIsA · 27/01/2026 00:45

SandAndSea · 27/01/2026 00:30

Just commenting to see what happens.

I haven't rtft.

How dare you post that! Sorry, just getting into the spirit of things around here. ;-)

LifeIsA · 27/01/2026 00:45

AnnieLummox · 26/01/2026 23:42

It’s still pretentious to assume that your post is essential reading.

I doubt a single person here thinks their posts are essential reading. Mostly it's just fluff or snippets of life and experience. Nothing at all essential. Some posts might be helpful to the OP but, in general, nothing would be lost by the absence of a single poster here.

SandAndSea · 27/01/2026 00:30

Just commenting to see what happens.

I haven't rtft.

LamentableShoes · 26/01/2026 23:50

JJWT · 26/01/2026 22:28

Who the hell has the time to read all the comments? Are you insane? Get a life, its just a chat forum. It doesn't actually matter. At all.

If it doesn't matter at all, why are you posting repeatedly about it?

Again, the entitlement that you're allowed to voice your opinion but everyone else should find themselves something better to do.

AnnieLummox · 26/01/2026 23:42

LifeIsA · 26/01/2026 20:40

This place is a free for all. I'm here, like everyone, to entertain myself. I approach that my own way. You approach that your way. Who really cares that much? If it's so important to someone that they have having emotions about how other people post, then I suggest they get a life outside Mumsnet.

Obviously more thought is needed when posting on 'heavy topic' threads.

Edited

It’s still pretentious to assume that your post is essential reading.

AnnieLummox · 26/01/2026 23:41

JJWT · 26/01/2026 22:28

Who the hell has the time to read all the comments? Are you insane? Get a life, its just a chat forum. It doesn't actually matter. At all.

Fucking hell, you sound demented.

eastegg · 26/01/2026 23:19

It’s particularly bad when it’s a sensitive topic. My own worst example was an OP who was pregnant with a baby who was likely to have disabilities. There were various complications re her relationship with the father and around other children he already had, and the OP updated the thread saying that she had definitely decided to have a termination. She was absolutely clear about it.

Despite that, a poster came on to talk about the fact that she herself had the condition that the baby would have had, and to talk about what sort of life the child might have in a positive way. Lots of information about support networks and that sort of thing. In another context, fine, but not, imo, in the light of OP’s updates.

And when I said as much, the poster got very sharp with me, saying things like ‘do you think I can’t read because I’m disabled?’. It was all quite unpleasant.

AgnesMcDoo · 26/01/2026 22:37

I usually read OP’s posts but don’t bother with the rest.

JJWT · 26/01/2026 22:33

Spoodles · 26/01/2026 07:02

Honestly baffles me how someone can come onto a thread they can see is hundreds of posts long and think they are so self important that no one will have made their often completely obvious point.

Since the introduction of the see all button it's also ridiculous how many posters still don't even take 5 minutes to read everything the OP has said.

You do realise what you're describing doesn't apply to the thousands of ppl who are reading it on Facebook. You would have to scroll through hundreds and hundreds of comments to find the ops comments. You are describing what ppl who are signed into mumsnet can see. The rest of the world doesn't get an option to see just the ops comments. NOT THAT IT MATTERS. AT ALL.

JJWT · 26/01/2026 22:28

Who the hell has the time to read all the comments? Are you insane? Get a life, its just a chat forum. It doesn't actually matter. At all.

Laura95167 · 26/01/2026 21:46

I read the OPs comments, because they may add more info or responded to someone who asked the same things I initially want to.

But I never intentionally read other comments, I dont care what other poster's opinions are in terms of what mine are.

Cosyblankets · 26/01/2026 21:31

Thanks