I was called a Spinster at work today, I was really offended.

That’s not true - A couple of years ago - someone referred to themselves as one. Though it seems an old fashioned word to me.

Simply because it’s very possible she didn’t know better? A bit like using ‘fewer’ instead of ‘less’? Single is a word that can be used in very different contexts referring to different things while bachelor/spinster would be the literal translation of the word in her mind.
I’m assuming she likes her aunt, so may be she was trying to sound relatable rather than offensive.
It’s also possible she used a ‘controversial’ word to make a misjudged attempt at British humour…

There are many little cultural and linguistic factors at play, and assuming an intention to insult and a mean personality straight away is only going to upset the OP and affect the work relationship.

Avoid her from now on - she is rude and blunt. She should have learnt to be a lot more polite having been in this country for so long.

Why is she commenting on you being single/married anyway? It's none of her business to judge you and label you like this.

This comes down to her being insensitive, judgemental and rude. She knew what she was doing.

Yes, the word 'spinster' is horribly outdated now, and YANBU to be annoyed and offended by it.

Apologies for AI copy and paste, but this sums it up.

With marriage and family as the 'ideal' according to society, and 'spinsters' outside of this, the term spinster took on a derogatory and misogynistic meaning. The term spinster was still used to describe an unmarried woman on UK marriage certificates until 2005, when it was replaced with 'single' for both women and men.

So yes, it isn't acceptable to call women 'spinster' anymore. The word has been discarded - 20 years ago! - for a reason.

As I said, when I got married in the early 1990s (almost 35 years ago,) I was recorded as a spinster. I actually laughed, as it seemed so outdated. And this was 35 years ago. It's wild that anyone uses it in 2026! 😬

Like many other posters, I think it's so weird that a woman of only 40 used this word. If she had been 85 or 90 something, it would have been more understandable. My relatives who are 80+ use words like 'baby born out of wedlock' (for a baby born to an unmarried mother,) and 'gladrags' for clothes, and 'wireless' for radio, and then there's 'are you courting?' that they like to ask of young women. Then 'going to the pictures' (instead of cinema...) And yes, they sometimes use the word 'spinster.' These are women born early 1940s or earlier.

A woman born in 1985 (and being a teenager in the early 2000s) using the word spinster is really odd IMO.

I am guessing though @Seahorses12 that this woman didn't mean to be nasty, it's more likely she was just thoughtless and clumsy. If she does use the word again though, do tell her it's not a word you want using to describe you and it's got such negative connotations, and was discarded over 2 decades ago. You have every right to feel insulted and offended by it. Just because a few others would NOT be offended, that doesn't mean you're not allowed to be.

.

Exactly. Why mention the aunt? So odd.

I'd have to 'own it' for want of a better expression. @Seahorses12 you have said you have a really good life and you are happy, so why wouldn't you look that woman in the eye and say "Goodness, I didn't know anyone used that term anymore, but yes, I'm a spinster and I couldn't be happier".

Your work colleague sounds like she was definitely trying to belittle you, so in the situation, I'd have to absolutely own my status and serve it back to her. I'd also have put her on my "to be watched carefully" mental list, as my impression from that exchange would not have been positive and I'd think she probably wasn't a kind or generous colleague.

I think it's offensive

And I wouldn't laugh or think it funny

But I'd cut her slack due to English being her second language. You could politely explain that "spinster" has a negative connotation now

The term "spinster" was officially replaced by "single" on marriage certificates in England and Wales in
December 2005, primarily to modernize registration, remove outdated, gender-specific terminology, and accommodate civil partnerships. Before this change, "spinster" was the legal term for a woman who had never been married, often paired with "bachelor" for men.
Here are the key reasons for the shift from "spinster" to "single" (sometimes interpreted or listed as "not previously married" or "single" in modern records):

• Modernization and Gender Neutrality: The Registrar General of England and Wales deemed "bachelor" and "spinster" to be old-fashioned terms belonging to a "bygone era". "Single" was introduced as a neutral, catch-all term for both men and women.
• Civil Partnership Act 2004: The impetus for the change was the need to make marriage registration consistent with the new civil partnership laws for same-sex couples, which required a neutral term for unmarried status.
• Derogatory Connotations: Over time, "spinster" shifted from a neutral legal term for a woman who spins thread (14th century) to a term implying an older, unmarried woman (18th century onward), often with negative "old maid" connotations.
• Consistency: The new, "blandly bureaucratic" term "single" was adopted to ensure that all marriage and civil partnership records used consistent, modern terminology.

• Before Dec 2005: A woman of any age who had never been married was listed as a "spinster" on UK marriage certificates.
• After Dec 2005: "Single" replaced "spinster," and "single" replaced "bachelor".
• Alternative Terms: If a document seems to say "not stay single" or similar phrasing, it is likely a misreading of "single" or "spinster" (never married), rather than a specific legal phrase, as "single" is the standard replacement.

In Northern Ireland, modern marriage certificates have moved away from outdated terminology. While historically, marriage registers used "spinster" for never-married women and "bachelor" for never-married men, these have been replaced by the neutral term
"single".
Key Points Regarding Northern Ireland Marriage Certificates:

• "Single" vs. "Spinster": Since roughly 2005 (aligned with the Civil Partnership Act), the term "single" is used to describe a person who has never been through a marriage or civil partnership.

Spinster was originally when women were so good at spinning that they made enough money to not need a man.
Men obviously didn’t like this so they made it into an offensive word.
Spinster = Independent woman.

I have to say Bachelor to me has bad connotations too. Anyone who describes themselves as one gives the ick.

It’s good to see we are moving away from both words.

In this day and age I would be offended too. But I think an older woman from a different culture could be given a bit of leeway as it doesn’t sound like she meant it insultingly. I remember seeing “spinster” on my mum’s marriage certificate. She was in her 20s and had a profession when she married. It sounded insulting by today’s standards, and quite Bridget Jones.
Maybe we can reclaim this word - I’m unmarried at 34 so almost definitely a spinster of my mum’s time. But I have my own house and career and not dependent on a man, which I might not have if I’d got married at 20 or whatever the “normal” age was in the 60s

I got married in Ireland 2006 , I think it was still spinster then I'll have to dig out my cert to check I was early 20s at the time. I must look up if its still used here

Blimey, it's terrifying to think that in 2026, anyone has this weird attitude. ANYwhere in the world. 'An old milk that has aged too much' at 30! It's like the middle ages!

Then again, several years ago, my DH used to work with some women from The Phillipines, and China, and they said they were classed as basically 'unworthy' and 'no good' if they were still unmarried at 30. Women in the Phillipines over 30 (who are unmarried) are sometimes referred to as matandang dalaga (old maid), a term that implies they have missed the ideal window for marriage. In China they're called sheng nü (leftover women.)

Absolutely bonkers! The middle of the 2020s, and some places in the world still have this batshit attitude.

So why didn’t she say “oh you’re single? One of my aunt’s is single” given that “single” is far more common in English.

And why mention her aunt at all?

It is a perfectly correct term but outdated. Unless it was said to deliberately upset you just ignore it, There are more important things to worry about

No still not.

As opposed to........ you? 🤔

I wonder whether this would actually shock her.

YABU
English is not her first language. You could have calm explained that while that word exists it isn't really used anymore these days.

Yes, its often the case but luckily not everyone is like that. Unfortunately the environment people lived in made people behave and feel like that and it will still take time to shift it.

In my language the word for spinster translates literally as "old virgin" and its not a very nice to call someone that. Unless perhaps you talk about your grand great aunt who died at very old age.

Oh my, from behind the iron curtain. They are massively blunt, zero filter and feel the need to comment on everyone, negatively, to their face. So yes, there is a cultural element.
1850s calling...? would´ve been my answer...

I would have laughed at her, and said ‘RUDE’!!! (In the words of Miranda - TV series).

Some women (a lot) like pecking order, and she was surreptitiously putting you in your place.

Perhaps next time you see her ask

are you a hussy?

The word "hussy" has a surprising, innocuous origin, evolving from a

respectable Old/Middle English term into a derogatory one over several centuries. Originally, "hussy" was a contraction of
"housewife".
Key Facts on the Origin of "Hussy":

• Original Meaning (13th–15th Century): Derived from the Middle English husewif, the word simply meant the mistress of a household, a housewife, or a woman in charge of a family.
• "Domestic Goddess": In the early 1500s, a "hussy" was sometimes used to describe a thrifty, skilled manager of a household.
• Linguistic Shortening: It is a deformed contraction of "housewife," with variations like "hussif" and "huzzie" appearing in Middle English.
• The Shift (17th Century): By the 1650s, the term began to shift from its respectable roots to refer to "a woman or girl who shows casual or improper behavior".
• Final Degradation (Mid-18th Century): The word lost all of its original meaning, becoming purely derogatory to describe a brazen, immoral, or ill-behaved woman.

The move away from "spinster" was intended to remove a term that had become derogatory, as it was historically used to marginalise unmarried women. Single people are simply described as that, men used to be called bachelor on a wedding certificate. I think it all changed with the commencement of same sex weddings.