To stop visiting if my sister brings her dog

I think you should message them and say that whilst you love them and want to see them, ultimately and unfortunately your son has been hurt by the dog and so for everyone’s sake, a short term change has to be made.

These are the options you can think of:

a) You don’t come on Sundays for a while
b) You take it in turns to come for a while
c) They bring a puppy pen or dog crate
d) They don’t bring the dog

Then ask them to choose which they’d rather and let you know.

Neither the sister nor the OP's mother will allow it to be in a crate (it's cruel apparently). Nor can it go outside because it's only a puppy and the sister insists on having her fur baby with her at all times.

The only answer sister and mother will contemplate is OP carrying on going every weekend when there's a totally untrained puppy that has already drawn blood.

And did you read the bit about the sister hoping the pup will grab hold of the baby's babygro and try to pull baby round on the floor?

It’s a puppy it can stay in a cage or outside? So much drama over a baby dog you are both unreasonable 🙄

Just say Mum I'm open to compromise - overlapping by only an hour or two/doing alternative weekends until puppy is trained and not nipping. But my 4 year old was bitten and you know it. I am not letting that happen again. So you figure out how to make sure my kids are safe otherwise we can't bring them to your house.

honestly I'd also have your dh have a chat with your dad - he might get further with him.

Some of the replies on this thread are mental - it is apparently ok to have a nipping untrained puppy around a 4 month old baby and a 4 year old even if that puppy has already bitten the 4 year old and drawn blood. Nuts. And I have a much loved dog.

Puppy’s are full on and in our case a mini dinosaur in disguise. Puppy would need to be on lead in the house all the time around kids until trained. They are just so goofy and excitable. It will get better but ours was tricky for a good 6 months (and the rest!)
Could they use a play pen like this

https://www.petsathome.com/product/midwest-homes-for-pets-contour-exercise-pen-for-pets-black/P70651?productId=7139981&utmsource=google&utmmedium=cpc&utmcampaign=googleshopping&cmmmc=Google--CPC--%20googleshopping--googleshopping&ita=1976&ito=googleshopping&cqsrc=googleads&cqcmp=21409845351&cqterm=&cqplac=&cqnet=x&cqplt=gp&gclsrc=aw.ds&gadsource=1&gadcampaignid=21416307482&gbraid=0AAAAAD7tV9opOh2QWwnUf30EiFdNI0O&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIgvrpkOinkgMVvopQBh0VEguIEAQYAiABEgKO1fDBwE

We found this pen connected to a crate super helpful with our pup. We went into the pen to play with her but that was her safe space & place for downtime. It was a godsend to be able to leave the room knowing she was safe from mischief (curiosity led to eating random things inc skirting boards and it also contained any accidents).

Maybe you both have playpens one for the dog & one for kids?! Bit of a faff to put up but might be useful if space allows and you are both visiting your parents.

Hope you can come to a compromise/solution with the Sunday lunch but also being able to spend some separate time with your mum or parents rather than always doing everything together.

I think you are both being unreasonable. You sound a bit entitled and that you think you trump your sister’s want to see her parents because you have kids and she doesn’t. But equally she needs to be training the puppy. I think you need to work on a compromise together, how about you overlap times so you’re all there for dinner but then you each get some one on one time with your parents where you’re not having to worry about the dog and the kids being together? So you could get there before dinner for a couple of hours and head off straight after, and they could arrive just before dinner and hang around after. Also agree with the PP who suggested you all go for a walk together. I have two kids and two dogs, I do get it’s hard, but you have made it sound very black and white.

Gosh this would drive me crazy your definitely not being unreasonable. Sorry if I have missed this but could your family not just go on sat instead ? Start a new thing...brunch/takeaway and then your sister (who sounds like a total pain) can have sunday and your parents have two days of visitors. I wouldn't be giving up on the lovely grandparents for your dcs sake.. despite how silly they are about this.... Could they come to you on a sat ? Draw your boundaries offer alternatives and hopefully your parents will find a solution but it's not you having to chase round after that dog all Sunday. The dog isnt going to improve much I fear.

OP, please don’t force this dog on your children. I had a bad experience as a young child and it left me very worried about dogs for most of my life, even after having one as a pet in the family.
Your sister sounds unhinged. Why would you get a dog that you didn’t have time to train or live in a flat without a garden? Why would you treat a dog like a baby?
Maybe it is time to make alternative arrangements to see your parents.

I suspect that poor dog is always going to be a bloody nightmare

I cannot believe your mother and sister are being such complete twats about this.

I just knew it would be a cockerpoo….

If a dog bit my child I’d call animal control or whatever it’s called and yeah get it put down if I could

This

Every weekend?

Can the puppy go to the shed with the men?

Could you go over to see them in the morning and leave before lunch?

I think there’s a similar scene in lady and the tramp the original version, one of the pups pulls the baby’s baby gro…. It may not be that one but I’ve definitely seen in it a Disney type film which shows how mature the OP’s sister is, life is not a Disney film 🥴

I suppose if the 4 year old bit the puppy and drew blood she well might.

Here in the land of normal ....

Crate or pen the puppy.

They seem to think you should just tolerate it which is unfair. Stand your ground.

I don't think you're being unreasonable. I'm surprised your mum is putting the dog before her grandchildren and hasn't asked your sister to deal with this! The toilet situation is unhygienic for everyone but especially your baby who will be crawling at some point and this dog is potentially a danger to both of your children. Really surprised they don't all see that. I'd be staying well away too.

"...She said today she can’t wait for the puppy to pull my babies sleepsuit and try to drag him along the floor..."

Is there something wrong with your sister?

That's weird...

YANBU at all and I have dogs.
I think you should throw your own hissy fit about the unfairness of it all and stop visiting. Your sister sounds a nightmare I’d go n/c tbh.

Can't believe some of these responses. Just goes to show how utterly batshit the country has become when it comes to fur babies.

OP isn't being remotely unreasonable.

The dog bit a child and caused a puncture wound. The sister is lucky OP didn't involve the police.

I think I'd have a break from them all for a while.

Every Sunday sounds so restrictive to me!