To stop visiting if my sister brings her dog

So what's the point of this thread? To bash the sister and get validation from strangers online?

She can just not go and call it a day 😂 instead she's here making remarks about her family that are rather unbecoming.

Of all the options and compromises available, the only acceptable one for your sister and parents is the one where your child is terrified and probably bitten.

Have you asked them why, in exactly those terms?

Time to take a step back. Ask your parents around for a few hours, your sister is welcome, the dog isn’t. Put it back on them. Make it obvious to your parents that they are choosing the dog and your sister. Say to them that she’s an adult, if she has a tantrum thats something she needs to work on, but is no one else’s business. Easier to write down that do I know.
My sister is older than me but a bit like that. My parents will take her meals, visit. They haven’t been to my house for months. (I see them
by going to theirs)

It's not a solution if it's rejected. Simply not going is enough of a solution until another one is found.
Also, it's not nice to call someone daft at all, let alone based on one side of a story.

As the saying goes, there are three sides to every story, yours, theirs and the truth.

Could the dog go in a spare bedroom upstairs?

I can’t understand why you’d go to a house where there is a very real potential for a dog to take a bite out of your baby’s face. That’s on you, not your irresponsible sister. Because you are being irresponsible putting both your children in danger.

I don't think you're unreasonable as you've said you're going to stay away and haven't made demands. Any reasonable grandparent would then choose their grandchildren over a dog and tell the sister to leave it at home.

Unfortunately she's the golden child. That's the problem here.

Her sister won’t use a crate and her mum won’t have one in the house.
The house is open plan, apart from the downstairs toilet, if the sister refuses to contain the puppy which sounds like that has been the case the OP has no choice but to suggest alternate weekends.
TBH if my family prioritised a dog over my children and then moaned about a sensible solution I’d be disparaging about them
as well.
We have dogs, only one of them is allowed to free roam when we have visiting children the other is popped behind a baby gate because she’s an excitable whirlwind and would accidently knock small ones over and the other is popped in her crate as she is a little nervous and I wouldn’t like her to feel uncomfortable.
This is what sensible people do…. They don’t leave a pup for hours when they work but say they can’t leave it for the length of a Sunday roast, call a child a wimp for crying when being bitten by sharp puppy teeth (which actually really hurts!) or refuse to contain it to allow a 4 month old to sit on the floor!
Cockers are highly strung and a bit neurotic, poodles are super intelligent. This dog is going to be a total nightmare if boundaries aren’t put in place.
A lot of dogs end up in rescue around 6-18 months old due to situations like this and then it’s left to others to try and ‘fix’ the problems.

While you absolutely are not being unreasonable, it's your mum's house, so it's her choice

The only peacemaking thing I can think of is alternating who goes to see her

Her child was bitten by her sister's dog and her sister mocked the four year old for crying until she noticed all the blood. I don't think OP sounds awful at all.

Her sister sounds like a spoilt teenager tbh even though she is actually in her 30s. She is obviously their mum's favourite.

You can't win then op. Yanbu at all.

How selfish and irresponsible of all of them.

I wouldn't be going while the puppy is in it's bitey phase and I love dogs.

My border collie puppy was a nipper, so I wouldn’t have wanted small DC around him, he mainly stopped at around 6 months old. Hopefully your sisters dog won’t always be this bad, but somehow you’ve got to try and get across to her that puppy needs proper toilet training and behaviour training if she wants her dog to become a family dog. Hard I know.

Absolutely correct. It’s fine for OPs mum to refuse any compromise.

So OP is choosing not to go. It’s fine for OP to do this too.

But she can choose as she has to not bring her children into the house when the dog is there. She's not demanding the "rules" be changed.

can’t the dog be on a lead?

Her sister won't put her dog in a crate. All OP's practical suggestions have been turned down. The only way to keep her children safe is for her not to visit her parents when her sister is there with the dog but her mum and her sister won't accept that solution. Training the dog seems out of the question as her sister won't do it and thinks that the dog's behaviour is cute.

Obviously YANBU, how can they expect you to put your kids at risk of being bitten/scratched? If you sister won't compromise with a dog pen and won't train the animal why on earth should you compromise your children's wellbeing and physical safety? My son got chased by a pig at 18 months and he's had a phobia of most animals ever since - dangers aren't limited to the physical if you put small children in proximity to animals likely to frighten or hurt them.

It depends what we are talking about here though doesn’t it. Is it a 10 week old cockaspaniel or a 30 week old bull mastiff.

Your mum will be disappointed but you cant control that. She needs to find a way of seeing you and her grandchildren seperately to dog it is her issue to solve, you are doing the right thing.

Same with your sister. If she wants to see nephews she needs to respect your boundaries. A walk with dog on a lead stopping at a swing park might be a good option (would not be weekly though).

I’m a fully grown adult and I wouldn’t be visiting with that dog there either!

its a puppy, not a fully grown dog…… or a tiger. The reasonable thing to do is both socialise and put in a different room/ crate the dog whilst the children are on the floor. If seeing the children weekly, the dog will soon be used to them.
She’s perfectly within her rights to do what she’s suggesting, though I think it’s probably unnecessary and she’s got her heckles up because of her view of her sisters personality.

Can your mum buy a playpen for the dog?

She’s totally open to the solutions - crates, keeping separate, alternate visits, visits from grandparents - but has been directly told “no” by the sister / DM. How can you not have seen that? She can’t make the daft sister use a crate.

No it’s not. Children do not accommodate the dog. It’s a DOG.

You’ve missed the point. I was responding to @Aquarius91 who was saying the dog could be left alone as it wasn’t a baby.