To ask if you clean your home before having guests?

Yes I do a clean and get everything nice because I want them to be comfortable. Went to my DB and it was a state, loads of dirty dishes, filthy. Gross

I would look at this a different way. Perhaps your friends want to have you over as guests but one of the (I assume) couple takes the burden of the hosting and it’s become too much.

I am the one who loves to host and loves to reciprocate hosting however because it literally all falls to me - the food planning and buying, the cleaning and bed making etc I have stopped hosting. It’s all too much and not enjoyable. Perhaps your friends are like this but they keep hosting just on more ‘relaxed’ terms?

I wonder how much of the ‘burden’ of hosting falls to the women on this thread? How many DH/DPs do ‘their bit’ by picking up the booze and sorting the music? Sorry I’m cynical and a bit bitter!

Anyway I think I would have to stop going if the house was as dirty as it sounds OP.

My house is always clean to the point where I wouldn’t mind anyone ever dropping in unexpectedly. But if we have house guests staying, then yes the house is given a really good extra clean and tidy -including Sharking the fabric kitchen chairs and freshening up the sofas. I hate staying in a dirty house and would hate to think anyone thought mine was!!

No, I don’t.
However, I follow a cleaning routine that means my house is always clean and mostly tidy.

If I had visitors coming to stay I would make an effort with the bedroom, clean towels etc, and do my daily routine, but nothing more than that really

Definitely clean all through the house, deep clean bathrooms, fresh sheets and towels for guests. Not to do so is to be unwelcoming to your guests! I now have a couple of friends I won't stay with any more since I don't feel comfortable there.

Your friends haven’t really grasped the concept of hosting, have they?

No, but we have a weekly cleaner, though she cancelled last week. We had fifteen over for dinner yesterday and I just swept the floors, lit a fire, made sure the downstairs loo was clean and had soap and fresh towels, and dishwashed the fancier wine glasses, while DH cooked. I certainly don’t turn into some kind of cleaning zealot.

I clean like a demon if someone is coming to stay. Im
ajwsys pleased I've done it and the house 'feels' so nice. I no wouldn't want stay in someone's dirty house or use a dirty bathroom if I'm honest. It would put me off going

Yeah it’s personality & inclination more than the kids i reckon. I think the more relevant question is whether you tidy the mess if someone is staying or not, not whether there is mess in the first place.

My comment re paintwork wasn't just an odd mark. It was absolutely ingrained dirt from where they'd repeatedly placed hands to push open the door, for example. Thick, greasy dirt.

I have no issue with untidiness and clutter but grime, no thank you.

Yes, I would, especially as we don't have a cleaner at the moment. I had a friend over today and didn't clean that much because I was busy all day yesterday and this morning so I didn't have time to do much, and TBH her house is usually pretty messy because she has a lot of pets so I didn't feel I had to impress her by being spotless given I had so little time to tidy. But usually I'd do a deeper clean.

Yes, I go for a deep clean, fresh sheets, but no mint on the pillow.

Not cleaning the bathroom, ewww. I wipe and disinfect daily, quick mop if needed, and deep clean weekly,more if needed. I dust and vacuum a lot, both kids had allergies and we have cats and used to have big sheddy dogs.

I'd stay elsewhere next visit.

Yes as does everyone I know.

I wouldn’t go back and stay in a house that was really grubby.

Even without guests my house is pretty straight, crunchy carpets? 🤢

I'd be cross at dh for knowing their standards will be uncomfortable to you and still not putting you up in a hotel or B&B sounds like DH wanted to see you squirm 😆

This.

This sounds like our house!

But it sounds like this house was minging. It's not about judging someone for having lower standards - lots of us would find it gross to stay somewhere so dirty.

I wouldn’t have stayed in a minging house, I’d have made some excuse and left, I don’t do filth like crunchy carpets or dirty bathrooms. People can live like that if they want to but don’t expect me to stay or visit unless the house is clean.

Edited to add I wouldn’t be unclenching nor dropping my standards for visitors.

This.

With “real” friends, as long as the place isn’t actively gross (stains in bed, rotting food on the side, bugs around the house) etc, isn’t it more about just enjoying each others company? I wouldn’t judge a friend.

Is there more to this? Kindness is free. Are you sure they don’t use Mumsnet as if I saw a friend say that about my home, after I hosted them, I’d be really hurt.

Hi Op, I am the same as you I always ensure house is clean floors are clean from cat hair, any dirt/ food crumbs from my DCs.
I will also clean and scrub the bathroom and toilet again before they arrive.
I don’t like a messy house and have always hated messy floors if I can see dirt it has to be cleaned right away but I think that’s a me problem.
The older I’m getting the worse I’m getting I hate clutter as well and tatt and finding I prefer simplistic stuff.

Ah ok I see

Depends on who is visiting.

Carpets hoovered, kitchen and bathroom cleaned weekly, so unless it's the queen visiting I don't bother doing extra

Maybe they’re just not in a good place to host staying guests at the moment. With young kids it’s so full on. I know that I’ve had periods where everything just feels too much. So the idea of cleaning and the cooking for people over a whole weekend would just be a nightmare. Leave it with the sleepovers for a while, meet in the middle for an afternoon or something.