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AIBU?

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To ask for your advice - blocked toilet, broken soil pipe under house, autistic DD and new dog!

91 replies

Plumbingcrisis · 25/01/2026 18:29

Have name changed for this because I need to keep the details accurate, but I'm a long term MN reader and poster.

DD is 15, autistic, getting an assistance dog who is due to move in with us permanently on Wednesday. This was already a huge deal and quite stressful all round (the dog will help her enormously in due course, but the first few weeks and months will be tricky with all of the extra demands and routine changes). But we were just about on track to be ready with doggy preparations.

However, our upstairs toilet has become blocked. Fortunately we have another downstairs, but DD isn't coping well with this as she normally avoids the downstairs loo like the plague. She's also waking me in the night to take her for a wee, scared to go downstairs on her own.

We've had the drain guy out today and the soil pipe is blocked and cannot be unblocked because it's damaged. Looks like we will have to pull up the conservatory floor, dig down, fix the pipe, get a new floor etc. I am freaking out, I've contacted the home insurance but won't hear back until tomorrow and have no idea what they're going to say. I've never even made a claim before.

I think I'm going to have to postpone the arrival of the dog, I can't see how we can stay calm and get her settled into her new home when we've got workmen in digging up the conservatory. The cats are going to freak out about the dog, and also about the work, and I'm worried about the impact on them of having both things happen at once. Even getting the dog outside to the back garden to toilet will be tricky, as the way to the garden is through the conservatory! DD isn't happy. But I don't think IABU to say we need to postpone.

My actual AIBU though is to ask - AIBU to not know how how this stuff works, and please can you offer any advice?

Will my home insurers promptly organise everything for me, and quickly?

Or are they going to tell me to get a bunch of quotes and send them in and then have delays while they fanny about deciding what/whether they're going to pay?

And if they do expect me to get quotes etc, who do I even contact to get a floor pulled up and a concrete dug out and a soil pipe fixed?

And how do I generally stay sane with all of this?! We have no family support locally. Can't just move out and stay elsewhere anyway even if we haven't got the dog yet, because we can't leave the cats. I just feel like I'm on the edge of a nervous breakdown.

OP posts:
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Plumbingcrisis · 26/01/2026 13:18

FuzzyWolf · 26/01/2026 10:43

The big deal is autism. You don’t understand which is fine, but admit that rather than belittling and minimising the massive difficulty the condition can cause.

Thank you for this. Yes, autism is the big deal! And the arrival of an autism assistance dog, who needs calm and quiet to settle in.

And arranging to completely empty a room of furniture, lose use of the room, deal with tradesmen in and out of the house, extra distress for the nervous cats - well that's phasing me (a competent but autistic adult). It is very much a big deal for DD to cope with.

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Plumbingcrisis · 26/01/2026 13:16

MangaKanga · 26/01/2026 10:27

Poor all of you, especially DD.

Going forward, please get DD a bin. Our autistic DD has her own special toilet bin where she can put all the period paper and whatever else into. Then she isn't self conscious or blamed for any plumbing mishaps. She gets vile, very heavy periods like a lot of girls her age- two squares of paper just wouldn't cut it.

We have a bin already but we've just had a chat now and are going to get two bins, one just for DD and her father won't ever go near it. It's the same issue here, she's needing a lot of paper to clean herself up with very heavy periods.

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Plumbingcrisis · 26/01/2026 13:15

Barrenfieldoffucks · 26/01/2026 10:16

We own a drainage firm.

To talk you through how this would work:

We would normally carry out a CCTV survey to assess damage and surrounds. Where at all feasible, use no-dog methods to extract as much of the spoil that may be currently blocking the pipe before installing a liner of a kind of GRP material to patch it up.

If digging is necessary, unless it is massive you are probably looking at a day's work, maybe two. Not all drainage firms have groundworks teams on staff, which may change things a little, but this is fairly bread and butter for us.

Unless your other toilet runs on a different line, you wouldn't be able to use either while the work was talking place for obvious reasons. Your other one may be on a different line, as otherwise it too would be blocking.

I can't imagine wait time being massive, dependent on where you are. Have a look for companies such as Metro Rod or Lanes.

Thank you so much, this was a really helpful reply. I've got a bit of an update which I will post shortly, but I wanted to thank you as this was exactly the sort of advice I was looking for when I first posted yesterday. 🙏

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FuzzyWolf · 26/01/2026 13:15

Ablondiebutagoody · 26/01/2026 10:53

Not minimising. Autism or not the toilet is blocked, luckily there is another. No need to flap and cancel the dog. If it was my house, I'd be shitting in the garden!

Edited

That’s just not how autism works.

Plumbingcrisis · 26/01/2026 13:13

ItsTimeToChang3 · 26/01/2026 10:06

Sign up with British Gas home care and pay for the plumbing option think it covers drains

Yeah we've got Hometree, they already sent Metrorod. But it only covers unblocking drains, they won't deal with collapsed ones and excavation works. British Gas Homecare (which we used to have, they send Dynorod rather than Metrorod) are the same.

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Plumbingcrisis · 26/01/2026 13:11

RoachFish · 26/01/2026 07:21

I think that if there is a way to shut off the conservatory temporarily whilst the work is being carried out then I would go ahead and get the dog as planned this week. As you mentioned, the dog is highly trained and is there to support your DD. I have had dogs for the last 17 years and they were not as trained as your dog but coped absolutely fine with various work being carried out. They most likely won't start digging up the conservatory on Tuesday or Wednesday so the dog will have a week or so of settling in beforehand.

I have had the same thing done in my back garden once and the work took about a day. They removed about a square meter of paving stones, dug down, fixed the issue, filled it all in again. I realise it's a bigger job since it's under the conservatory but it might not be quite as disruptive as you think. I think the reactions of the people you live with makes it seem worse than it's going to be for you,

Don't worry about the dog not having access to the garden during the time the work is being carried out. It's not a tiny puppy so she will be able to go for regular walks and can hold her pee for hours.

Yes, dog will be fine, it's the human stress levels and the cats (who need time to get used to the dog without any additional stress) that are the issue.

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Plumbingcrisis · 26/01/2026 13:09

EatSleepDreamRepeat · 26/01/2026 07:09

I've not RTFT.
Depending on where the issue is along the run it would be worth exploring if you can fit a new soil pipe to join somewhere else along the pipe.
Then you don't have to pull up the conservatory floor.
Much less upheaval.

Thank you, that'd be good but a new soil pipe could only go in if we put scaffolding up over the conservatory to allow them to fit and mount the pipe. Probably more expensive than digging up the conservatory floor.

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Ablondiebutagoody · 26/01/2026 10:53

FuzzyWolf · 26/01/2026 10:43

The big deal is autism. You don’t understand which is fine, but admit that rather than belittling and minimising the massive difficulty the condition can cause.

Not minimising. Autism or not the toilet is blocked, luckily there is another. No need to flap and cancel the dog. If it was my house, I'd be shitting in the garden!

GasPanic · 26/01/2026 10:48

Having a sewage pipe that runs under the conservatory seems like a bad idea to me.

Who owns this pipe ? Is it you or the sewage company ?

This may be a wild idea, but would it be possible to reroute the soil pipe on the outside of the house so that instead of going underneath the conservatory it empties into it at another point after it comes out from under the building ? That way you will always have access.

FuzzyWolf · 26/01/2026 10:43

Ablondiebutagoody · 26/01/2026 10:21

It's annoying for sure but I don't see the big deal. You have another toilet so just don't go into the conservatory when the work is being done. It will probably only be a day or two of actual work.

The big deal is autism. You don’t understand which is fine, but admit that rather than belittling and minimising the massive difficulty the condition can cause.

MangaKanga · 26/01/2026 10:27

Poor all of you, especially DD.

Going forward, please get DD a bin. Our autistic DD has her own special toilet bin where she can put all the period paper and whatever else into. Then she isn't self conscious or blamed for any plumbing mishaps. She gets vile, very heavy periods like a lot of girls her age- two squares of paper just wouldn't cut it.

Ablondiebutagoody · 26/01/2026 10:21

It's annoying for sure but I don't see the big deal. You have another toilet so just don't go into the conservatory when the work is being done. It will probably only be a day or two of actual work.

Barrenfieldoffucks · 26/01/2026 10:16

We own a drainage firm.

To talk you through how this would work:

We would normally carry out a CCTV survey to assess damage and surrounds. Where at all feasible, use no-dog methods to extract as much of the spoil that may be currently blocking the pipe before installing a liner of a kind of GRP material to patch it up.

If digging is necessary, unless it is massive you are probably looking at a day's work, maybe two. Not all drainage firms have groundworks teams on staff, which may change things a little, but this is fairly bread and butter for us.

Unless your other toilet runs on a different line, you wouldn't be able to use either while the work was talking place for obvious reasons. Your other one may be on a different line, as otherwise it too would be blocking.

I can't imagine wait time being massive, dependent on where you are. Have a look for companies such as Metro Rod or Lanes.

FuzzyWolf · 26/01/2026 10:11

I would make all the phone calls today and see what the situation is and the timescale for getting any work done because I suspect you might well find there is a bit of a wait for it to start and the dog could well have settled in sufficiently by then.

ItsTimeToChang3 · 26/01/2026 10:06

Sign up with British Gas home care and pay for the plumbing option think it covers drains

Gall10 · 26/01/2026 09:54

Plumbingcrisis · 25/01/2026 19:57

Assistance dog, provided by an ADUK charity. Emotional support animals aren't really a thing in the UK, they don't have any public access rights.

A friend of mine ‘fosters’ puppies, training, socializing etc….last 2 have gone on to be assistance dogs for autistic children….great service!

Thefrenchconnection1 · 26/01/2026 08:22

So think of this as a series of problems rather than one.

Upstairs toilet not in use. What could help?
For example: Get a commode and dd use it. If she will? No night trips. You can empty it into downstairs in the morning.

RoachFish · 26/01/2026 07:21

I think that if there is a way to shut off the conservatory temporarily whilst the work is being carried out then I would go ahead and get the dog as planned this week. As you mentioned, the dog is highly trained and is there to support your DD. I have had dogs for the last 17 years and they were not as trained as your dog but coped absolutely fine with various work being carried out. They most likely won't start digging up the conservatory on Tuesday or Wednesday so the dog will have a week or so of settling in beforehand.

I have had the same thing done in my back garden once and the work took about a day. They removed about a square meter of paving stones, dug down, fixed the issue, filled it all in again. I realise it's a bigger job since it's under the conservatory but it might not be quite as disruptive as you think. I think the reactions of the people you live with makes it seem worse than it's going to be for you,

Don't worry about the dog not having access to the garden during the time the work is being carried out. It's not a tiny puppy so she will be able to go for regular walks and can hold her pee for hours.

EatSleepDreamRepeat · 26/01/2026 07:09

I've not RTFT.
Depending on where the issue is along the run it would be worth exploring if you can fit a new soil pipe to join somewhere else along the pipe.
Then you don't have to pull up the conservatory floor.
Much less upheaval.

Plumbingcrisis · 26/01/2026 06:55

saltinesandcoffeecups · 25/01/2026 23:50

Clearly you have a lot of variables but my philosophy on new animals is to go big with the integration. The dog and the cats will cope and then they’ll all settle down together as things quiet down.

Good Luck!

Edited

Thank you, and often that will work but in our case we tried going big with the integration with DD's original assistance dog back in 2024.

After a few frantic chases, the result was traumatised cats who hid in a single room and wouldn't leave (I had to put a litter tray in that bedroom, yuck).

And a dog who arrived with a healthy interest in the cats, and left after two months absolutely obsessed with them and freaked out by these furry housemates that she could smell but never see. By the end she was barking and leaping at shadows on the conservatory roof, thinking she MIGHT have seen a cat. And tried to drag DD across a road when she saw a cat on the other side while out on a walk - it wasn't even moving, just frozen still. And this was despite all of the professional training she'd had to become an assistance dog!

She was rehomed as a pet by the charity. To a house without cats, obviously!

This time around we have a lot of dog gates with cat access panels in them. It's worked really well, the dog has always known that the cats are here and seen them plenty but not been able to get too close most of the time. We've had several successful meetings with the cats on one side of a gate and the dog on the other - cats learning that gate means safety and a hiss will be respected, dog learning that she doesn't get to go right up for a sniff to say hello. Things are looking much more positive this time.

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Plumbingcrisis · 26/01/2026 06:48

Swiftie1878 · 25/01/2026 22:26

Check all your insurances. If contents doesn’t cover it, Buildings might.

Contents definitely won't cover it - I don't think the contents of the soil pipe would be something I'd want to insure and replace in the event of theft, fire or flood. 😜

Definitely a Buildings job, but it'll depend on whether it's considered accidental damage or not. We don't have cover for accidental damage. The pipe likely got buggered when the previous owners put the conservatory on top of it.

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Plumbingcrisis · 26/01/2026 06:47

JohnofWessex · 25/01/2026 22:23

pedant alert

A friend of mine who was a plumber says that when the 'pipe' that a former colleague called the Turd Snaffling Pipe touches the ground it becomes a builders job not a plumbers

Haha I like that phrase! Turd Snaffling Pipe. 🤣

Yeah it's definitely not a plumbing job, but a company like Dyno who are drainage specialists will do it. They just might require us to pull up the laminate ourselves, and they will definitely not do any relaying/replacing of floor covering or redecoration.

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Plumbingcrisis · 26/01/2026 06:45

FromTheBlock · 25/01/2026 22:17

Sounds like the dog will be fine, and the crate in DD’s bedroom is a good idea, especially if the dog has been used to sleeping in that room already.

I totally get how you’re feeling (from one ASD mum of ASD kids to another), everything just feels overwhelming as there’s a lot going on. But the waste pipe situation is out of your hands to an extent, that will be what it will be under whatever timescale the people that sort it can offer. Really there’s not much you can do there, make the phone calls tomorrow to get the ball rolling and then try and forget about that for now.

And yes, get the dog. And a camping toilet. Maybe DD won’t want to use it but at least the option is there then.

Thank you. You're right. If the pipe can somehow be magically opened today (Dyno have done it before, and the Metro lad didn't seem all that experienced) then we get the dog as planned. Likewise, if it's going to be weeks before we can have work done then we learn to cope without the upstairs bog and get the dog as planned anyway.

The only thing that would be a really bad idea, I think, is to get the dog and then have workmen descend within days. If that ends up being the plan, I'll talk to the charity about delaying for a couple of weeks.

OP posts:
saltinesandcoffeecups · 25/01/2026 23:50

Clearly you have a lot of variables but my philosophy on new animals is to go big with the integration. The dog and the cats will cope and then they’ll all settle down together as things quiet down.

Good Luck!

Swiftie1878 · 25/01/2026 22:26

Check all your insurances. If contents doesn’t cover it, Buildings might.

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