Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Bf sleeps half they day and doesn’t help round house

82 replies

ano1717369119 · 25/01/2026 12:47

I feel like all I do is nag, I’ve asked him to help round house but he says I need to tell him what to do, I’ve told him stuff to do ie do his dishes and clean up after using kitchen bit he half ass does it dishes still dirty and bunkers wiped but still stuff over them,
also other stuff I’ve told him I shouldn’t need to ask as you can see house needs hoovered but says he doesn’t notice it but we have cats you can see the litter on floor , or if I’m working and he’s in house with son the mess isn’t is problem that’s mines when a get home
also he finishes work late and wants to unwind which I get but turns tv on in room while I’m sleep which wake me up, this results in him sleeping till noon or after each day which is my fault as I didn’t wake him🙈

the thing is he is so loving but doesn’t matter how many times I ask for help round the house it just doesn’t happen then ends in an argument cos he goes cold on me as he feels like I’m nagging and all I do is moan

But a feel it’s not unreasonable to ask for help without telling him exactly what to do, unsure what I can do to get him to help more round the house cos fed up at this point of doing everything from min I open my eyes.

OP posts:
sesquipedalian · 25/01/2026 12:52

OP, throw this one back - he won’t change.

MammaBear1 · 25/01/2026 12:52

He is not loving. If he was loving, he’d respect you and not treat you like a servant, there to clean up his mess.
Waking you while you’re sleeping is really disrespectful and selfish.
Of course he can see what needs to be cleaned. He’s just too lazy to.
You’ve got yourself a manchild and they don’t improve. Is this the sort of relationship you want?

TomatoSandwiches · 25/01/2026 12:51

He isn't loving at all he feels entitled to do nothing and make it your problem, he wakes you up from sleeping because his desires and wants are more important than the human need for sleep.

Get rid of him, he has no respect for you.

Swaytheboat · 25/01/2026 12:51

It's not loving to turn the TV on when someone is sleeping 🤦 he doesn't give a damn about you. End it.

Swiftie1878 · 25/01/2026 12:50

No amount of being ‘loving’ is enough to counter the fact he’s a lazy arse who doesn’t care about leaving all the heavy lifting around the house to you.

Wave bye-bye.

mrscoreytaylor · 25/01/2026 12:50

You’ve landed yourself with another child, throw it back.

MO0N · 25/01/2026 12:48

Your best bet is to end the relationship.

Swipe left for the next trending thread