Bf sleeps half they day and doesn’t help round house

Get rid! He absolutely doesn’t respect or love you.

First off take the plug off the TV if he puts it back on, keep taking it off make it an inconvenience for him.
Maybe he will leave it off eventuarly and you can sleep better. If not take the TV out completly.

Sorry OP, to turn the tv on in a room when someone else is sleeping is utterly unpleasant.

It doesn’t sound like he is mature enough to be in a relationship.

OP loadsanumbers has gone quiet. Hopefully that means she’s picking her bags and will be off to find a knight in shining armour - or other such fairytale.

I suggest you download the Tody app on both your phone and his. It's a bit of a pain setting it all up but once done it's very easy to use and navigate.

You can list every task that needs doing and the frequency with which it needs doing. You can use a general description, such as "clean the living room" but I find it best to break it down into smaller tasks, such as "vacuum living room floor", "dust the bookshelves", clean the windows" and so on.

When a task is due, it shows up on the app. When you've completed a task, you mark it as completed. It then will become due again according to the schedule you've set.

Your bf then doesn't need to ask you what needs doing, he can just open the app and complete some tasks that are due.

It will also make him realise how much you do compared with him, as each person can see what tasks have been completed and by whom.

Depending on what your housing situation is and if I had relatives I could rely on, I would ask him to leave / go live somewhere else and tell him you are unwilling to live with him until he grows up and pulls his weight. I am not his mother to ‘tell him’, ‘teach him’ or even wake him! Come back when he can adult properly and not before.

I think you have to be fully strict and rigid about 50 - 50 domestic split with men like this. Or this will be your life. I wouldn't put up with this

He Isn’t ‘not helping’

He's not doing his fair share. Language matters.

You are not default houseworker.

Is the house in both your names?

Help? Who is he helping? You can’t help to clean your own house. These aren’t your jobs that he helps with; he should just be doing his half of everything.

I voted YABU but only because I think you’re being unreasonable staying with this “man”

That is so very unreasonable because he wouldnt be 'helping'

What you are asking him to do is be an adult

What he is doing is treating you like his mum

I wouldn't be able to put up with that

You need to throw this one back and catch another.
.

Exactly my thought. If this is love, who bloody needs it?

My DP used to treat me like a maid. No help with housework. I cooked and dud everything. All he did was work, pub and game. He would come home and if I was in bed scroll on his phone next to me knowing the light woke me up. The last straw was when I worked a 14 hr day and had to be up early to repeat it. The cat knocked a drink on the carpet and he shouted at me to clean it up when I walked through the door as he doesn’t clean!

so I left and bought my own house. 2 months later we did get back together. He doesn’t treat me as a maid. We have a cleaner, we share rest of life admin. It was a wake up call to him.

I agree with the above. Being moody because he can’t watch TV is childish. He doesn’t sound respectful, he sounds like a PITA. Leave him now or you will end up with a manchild dragging you down

Get him out!!

He’s being loving SO THAT you will do all the chores for him. Manipulative.
’Loving’ is not the same as respectful. Respectful is doing his fair share and not dumping it on you

I’ve been married 13 years and still have to tell DH what he needs to do sometimes (usually when we are clearing for the cleaner coming) but he does his ‘blue’ jobs without prompting

You don't have to put up with a lazy, idle disrespectful bully. End it, and tell him to sling his hook. 👍

Nail on the head. He's clearly not grown up and has no intention of growing up and embracing being an adult. He's just a man-child. Like you say, the OP has replaced his mother with the "added benefit" of sex. The OP need to grow a pair, have a little self respect and get rid of the waster.

He needs to get headphones if he wants to watch tv (in the living room) and he doesn't want to wake his son

But he wont as hes an arse

Oh and fuck the TV off out of the Bedroom.

You say he can't watch the TV in the living room? Can't he use a device with earphones? He should not be watching TV when you are trying to sleep.

He sounds like a waste of space. It would annoy me if I had to explain to someone what chores needed to be done. I can choose to be oblivious to mess when it suits me that's my perogative as I live alone.

Why does he need to help you? Is it not his mess as well? It is not helping, it is being an adult with responsibility for your own shit.

If he genuinely has memory problems, he could set himself a schedule where he hoovers on certain days every week, washes up properly after himself etc. If he doesn't know how, there are YouTube videos to help him help himself.

DO NOT PUT UP WITH IT.

He is taking the piss.

I voted YABU for thinking it is all on you and he should "help".