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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not understand why this is an issue

130 replies

lunx · 25/01/2026 10:00

A group of friends are going on a hen do in a few months and the person who has arranged it has found a hotel for £75 a person per night. Someone in the group suggested an apartment as an alternative option as it works out cheaper per person per night at £35 each. But this idea was dismissed. Anyway the person who suggested the apartment asked a few of us what we wanted and several preferred the cheaper option. Especially taking into consideration the cost of travel, night out, new outfit and activities during the day. Now the person who wanted to stay in the £75 a night hotel and others who also wanted to stay there have gone mad at the others who wanted a cheaper alternative. Saying it’s selfish of them because now the others will have to pay more for the hotel and we should all be staying at the same accommodation even though the two accommodations are a short walking walking distance away. I personally don’t see an issue with this as we are still travelling together and spending the day/night together. We are just not sleeping in the same accommodation. Now it’s so awkward in the group. I just don’t understand the issue. Just wanted other’s opinions?

OP posts:
Brefugee · 25/01/2026 10:08

tbh it wasn't handled brilliantly - if 75 is too much the best thing is to say "oh, too expensive i'm not going then"

What does bride-to-be say?

ETA: forgot to say. My answer slightly changes depending on how and when the price was agreed. If group 2 agreed then let it be booked and THEN renaged? bollocks to that.
If the organiser just said "i've booked it's 75 quid" and that's the first time they knew? meh to the organiser.

Meggie2008 · 25/01/2026 10:06

They will be sharing rooms, so the £75 will be worked out by the rooms cost/number of people.
If less people are staying there, the cost for everyone who is will go up.
On my hen night, there were 8 of us there, in 2 rooms sleeping 4. If 2 people decided they were going elsewhere, the rest would need to pay more to cover the room cost.

I'd agree it's not fair for the second group to have gone rogue against the plans without considering things like this

parkezvous · 25/01/2026 10:05

Sounds a bit mad. Is the organiser a bit controlling? Perhaps she thought it’d be nicer if you were all together. I suppose if it does bump up the overall cost for the others then it could be seen as a bit selfish but if £35 a night makes it work for some then I’d acquiesce to those that could only afford the lower price. I’d rather us all be together and if that meant changing accommodation then so be it. How come it bumps up the hotel price though? Surely it’s booked per room?
edited to add: if the hotel was booked and agreed already then there was a change of heart then the £35 people are being unreasonable

WhoDecidedImAnAdultImNotQualified · 25/01/2026 10:04

I can see why the organiser is pissed off.

She made the arrangements and got the prices based on everyone being in the same place.

It also splits the party into two and does change the dynamics of the event.

Imo you go and pay for what's organised or don't go at all, you don't agree then start changing things for half of the party.

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 25/01/2026 10:02

Why would the others have to pay more, surely it's still £75 a night?

However, I do think YABU, it changes the dynamics when everyone stays different places, if it was 2 hotels not so much, but one hotel and one apartment is very different

Edited to say especially for a hen do! Usually the bridesmaids organise it all and people either pay to attend or not, organising a separate accomodation yourselves away from the bride to be is very odd