To ask how you would start a new life?

So you need somewhere that isn’t too remote if online school is important, somewhere that is not local place for local people, so a population with people who have moved there, and preferably housed with £250k , all in.

Outskirts of a smaller northern city. Sheffield?

I think I get it, I've had something kinda similar recently. My kids are slightly younger than your DD but definitely where they're at an age they're more self sufficient and I have time to do something new and exciting. Unfortunately I've been focusing on being a parent for so long I've forgotten who I am and what would would make me happy even if I have time to do it. So I get the needing and wanting to do something different but having literally no idea what that could be.

One thing that's been useful for me was to look back all over my life and pick out times when I've been so into an activity or thing that I've completely lost track of time (based on something we did in work yonks ago) It can be literally anything and as mundane as you like (I love animals so mine were things like when I volunteered at an animal sanctuary as I kid, when I took my friends dog for a run through the woods and he looked so happy and then slobbered on me 😆). It gives a good view of what makes you happy and hopefully a pick list of things you could start to introduce back into your life and try out.

So if I was in your situation I'd start volunteering at an animal rescue again and if the reality of working outside and scooping poop all day wasn't too bad I'd look into starting my own little rescue 😊

25k presumably post tax with no work expenses isn't bad at all especially if it doesn't include rent or mortgage.

But you may need to avoid certain expensive areas.

I've picked my village and road in which to buy, for when the inevitable happens to frail DH. Visited twice and know the surrounding area very well. Checked public transport and facilities, routes for walking the dog, plus activities I can participate in - U3A, church, birdwatching opportunities, film night etc. Several pubs, shops, garden centre.

The last few years as an unpaid carer have been so tough that my vision of the future is one of the few things that keep me going.

I'd think about causes you are passionate about and move somewhere you can do that every day, or try a retreat where you can do it every day for e.g. a month and connect with like-minded people. So if it's marine conservation - move to beach and join a local group.

Ex-pat communities are often more welcoming. I know because I lived abroad for a number of years. They can be nice because they are very supportive when things go wrong.

I think you should rent a house for a year in a village in the South of France or the Pyrenees where there are a few British ex-pats. Just for a year. You'll need visas of course, but you sound like your administrative skills are pretty good. You could easily live on the £25k.

If you are looking at opting in and finding people to connect with then maybe look at your own interests and then look at places that might match that. For example Totnes in Devon has a large number of quite alternative residents and many groups that align their various interests. Also quite a large and active home Ed community.

You sound as if you’ve become isolated and lost and need to join, participate and get involved which is very possible but definitely takes time and effort.

Do you anticipate that DD will become independent at some point? The next ten years could bring many changes in her life so don’t plan solely on her needs unless you’re happy to uproot again in 3-6 years.

Good luck, I’d be interested to know what you decide to do.

I think you're ambitious thinking that two of you will live of 25k a year. Are you able to add to that income by working at home?

You could look at pet sitting if you wanted to explore other countries. You stay for free in exchange for looking after pets. Some stays can be a month or more. I think you have to be a bit careful about working visas as it can be classed as work (I'm not 100% sure about that).

I am very much a homebody op and from my point of view a secure home is the basis for everything. You can follow your interests, reach out and work or join groups or stay at home. Visit other countries on holiday or for longer periods. Is your 'nice' house in a really dull area? Would you like a bigger garden? Does your daughter's autism mean she doesn't like change? Do you like cities with museums and galleries, rural quiet or something in between - towns with things going on but a slower pace of life? Is there anyone whose life you 'envy' in the sense of saying I'd love to do that?

I would get a decent campervan and spend a few months travelling. After that coming home might seem like enough of a luxury not to need anything more drastic.

How about trying out new areas by doing Airbnb for a few months at a time somewhere? This would give you an idea about where you would like to be? I realise this might not be ideal if your daughter needs the same routine of if you don't have funds, but if you can work from home it could be the opportunity to begin your adventure.

I would buy a campervan and travel around, or live by the beach. If no ties at all then maybe move to Spain or something?

I would buy a small house on the Llyn peninsula in Wales, because it's beautiful and remote and probably affordable for your small income. I'd train to do something I could work freelance in, such as proofreading. This gives you the option of income but with the flexibility to do as much as you want or need. I'd travel lots. Let your daughter study online if that's what she wants to do.

Really gently OP: wherever you go, there you are.

Ties to anyone or anything or not, completely uprooting and changing your life is mentally taxing for anyone. I know tonnes of people who've had a "I'll be happy when I move to Wales/Dubai/Bali/Australia/New Zealand etc" times in their lives but have have all returned (usually out of pocket to the tune of tens of grand minimum).

Personally, I'd move to somewhere near the sea, a coastal village, with good links to a town.

I'd want to work or volunteer so I would want to find some opportunities locally.

As a Christian I'd want an accessible and lively, community-minded church. I'd want opportunities for my child to make friends locally.

What's most important to you?

Maybe you could both go to college (different ones so it’s not weird!) when she’s 16?

Trying to put myself in your shoes, I think I would move to a small town in a place that’s physically beautiful and where you can access nature easily. Find a small house with some outside space, but nothing remote - you clearly want to feel part of a community. Get a low-stress job in retail or
hospitality to supplement your other income, and start joining things.

I'd take a year out and live/ volunteer at Sadhana Forest in India. Then I'd reassess and see if I was any clearer as to what I should do next with my life.

Do a CELTA. See where you can get a visa for, and whether home education is allowed in that country. Check the legality of taking DD abroad if her father doesn't agree.

Scottish highlands is probably the cheapest option in the UK. However, you need to check broadband speeds for wherever you go for your dd to do online learning.