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To ask would you assume if someone didn’t have a child at 30

107 replies

Cinema777 · 25/01/2026 00:40

They were unlikely to be a mum

OP posts:
TheDivergentEnigma · 25/01/2026 07:05

Nothing, I'm not so ignorant as to think that there could be multiple reasons for being child-free, and until I have more information, I should not speculate.

Assumptions/presumptions by people are some of the main annoyances I have with us humans.

Meadowfinch · 25/01/2026 07:04

That would be completely illogical, given the average age to have a first child is now 31.

I wouldn't assume anything.

user18 · 25/01/2026 06:53

I would assume they were part of the attention seeking generation (which to me as a gen Xer is massively unattractive)

Of course not

HeyThereDelila · 25/01/2026 06:50

What an idiotic post, OP.

I have two DC. I didn’t have either of them at 30.

Newsenmum · 25/01/2026 06:50

No 😆 most people around here wait until at least 30. Id probably assume around 40.

WhatNoRaisins · 25/01/2026 06:49

OP what are you hoping from this thread? It's ok for you to be this age and to feel sad that you don't have a child if that's how you feel.

DinoCookie · 25/01/2026 06:47

Definitely not. I met my husband as a teen and we always intended on having a child but we weren't ready to try until I was 30. I got pregnant straight away at 30 and gave birth at 31. These days it's a very average age to have your first child!

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 25/01/2026 06:42

In my experience most people don’t have kids until they are in their thirties.

Left · 25/01/2026 06:16

Erm.

No, I wouldn’t think this.

hth

AbstractPoison · 25/01/2026 06:12

Cinema777 · 25/01/2026 00:40

They were unlikely to be a mum

No.

GoldbergVariations · 25/01/2026 04:26

ThrowingDi · 25/01/2026 00:49

I don’t really understand this tbh. 30 year olds in 2026 don’t visually look much different to people in their late 20s…who look quite young themselves. Maybe decades ago 30 looked haggard but I think in 2026, 30 isn’t really the cut off point it used to be.

I'm in my sixties and I still don't look "haggard".

There's something to look forward to!

Zanatdy · 25/01/2026 04:22

All of my close friends bar 1 were over 30 when they had their first child.

JayJayj · 25/01/2026 04:19

I had my daughter at 37.

RedToothBrush · 25/01/2026 03:52

Given the average age for women to start a family is higher than that in the UK, I'd have to be pretty dumb to think this.

Sanpellegrino1 · 25/01/2026 03:50

I am :38 and pregnant for first time
fell pregnant first time i had unprotected sex
currently 31 weeks

Strawberrryfields · 25/01/2026 03:02

No I don’t think it’s too late at all. I think you can find pros and cons to having children in your 20/30/40s, it’s an individual thing.

I do remember a couple of friends freaking out a bit about turning 30 and being single, not married, no kids because it felt like a milestone and didn’t fit with the timeline they’d imagined. But in reality (and with hindsight) it all turned out fine.

Are you concerned about this yourself or is it solely family pressure?

ThePerfectWeekend · 25/01/2026 02:59

Shitmonger · 25/01/2026 02:22

I’m 30 and no one in my social circle is even married yet. It would have been heavily side-eyed to be married before 30 and looked down upon/a minor scandal to have children before then. It’s just not done. Education and career first, then marriage and children. My parents were the same (had me in their 40s) and my grandparents as well (37 when my mum was born, 42 when my dad was born).

DS and DIL became parents at 30. However, they'd been together fourteen years, married two. They have no outstanding student loans because he went the apprenticeship route and she jouned her very successful family business after completing The International Baccalaureate. They bought their first home aged 23.
I still think it's young. They're very much the outliers in theirs friend groups but planned everything meticulously.

Thoseslippers · 25/01/2026 02:57

Absolutely not.
40 possibly but lots of people still fall pregnant in their 40s its just a bit less likely.
But 30 is ridiculous. Most people I know with kids only started having them in their 30s

ThePerfectWeekend · 25/01/2026 02:43

Probably best not to if they're asking this question...

TripleBanana · 25/01/2026 02:32

Well by definition if they don’t have a child they’re not a mum, no unlikely about it!

…however, if you’re suggesting they’re unlikely to ever become one, I’d question whether you’ve recently gone outside. Very few people I know have become parents pre-30.

Shitmonger · 25/01/2026 02:22

I’m 30 and no one in my social circle is even married yet. It would have been heavily side-eyed to be married before 30 and looked down upon/a minor scandal to have children before then. It’s just not done. Education and career first, then marriage and children. My parents were the same (had me in their 40s) and my grandparents as well (37 when my mum was born, 42 when my dad was born).

Tigerbalmshark · 25/01/2026 02:18

RueLepic · 25/01/2026 00:51

This makes no sense. Why would you think that ‘looking haggard’ at any age was an indicator you’d passed the optimum moment for childbearing?

I really think I looked my most haggard 4-6 months after DS was born…

Beekman · 25/01/2026 02:12

Don’t be ridiculous, OP.

silverwrath · 25/01/2026 02:08

Cinema777 · 25/01/2026 00:40

They were unlikely to be a mum

No. Of course not.

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