To go LC with PILs because FIL voted for Trump?

Well, this thread has not helped me make a decision 😅 But it has talked me down off the ledge I was on last night - I posted immediately after reading about Alex Pretti and was admittedly feeling quite emotional.

It has helped me articulate my own conflicting feelings though, which seem to be reflected in the opposing views on the thread.

Namely, that it's a vital skill to be able to get along with people who believe differently from yourself. That the increasing polarisation of political thought is a bad thing, and that isolating yourself from people with different views only exacerbates that. That I want to model peaceful relationships and reasoned debate to the DC, not dramatic reactions. That democracy and freedom of speech and thought is important. And that the ILs are broadly decent people, that they're family, and that they're good grandparents to the DC.

On the other hand, I do believe that conviction and sticking by your principles is important. Supporting the events going on in America at the moment is very different IMO to e.g. voting for Brexit. The situation in America is not at all dissimilar to the situation in Germany preceding WW2, and if those of us who find it abhorrent stand by and do nothing, say nothing, in the name of not rocking the family boat, are we any better than the people who support it or than those who are carrying out the killing? Is that what I want to teach the DC? That you sacrifice your beliefs on the altar of being polite and not upsetting people?

To those saying I overlooked the previous racism and other red flags and wondering why I'd now choose to die on this hill, it's more that this is the last straw after several years of offensive beliefs comments... on a background of generosity and otherwise kindness.

To those talking about "tainted" money etc, I have said to DH that I'm no longer comfortable accepting anything from them. The money they gave for the house was 15 years ago when they were much more temperate in their views. It's in the last 6-7 years that they've become much more right-wing and FIL in particular seems to have espoused more racist / misogynistic / evangelical views.

Anyway, thank you again for the various viewpoints and insights.

Most sensible thing anyone has said on this thread

You can think what you want, but the reality is he is still governed by chambers of commerce and Supreme court, with midterm elections coming up I expect his power will be reduced.

He is clearly causing issues in the US, trading and tariffs, and Greenland, but your view of his powers I would argue are exaggerated, there will be no invasions/genocide like your orignal comparison.

i will say it again, she is overreacting all because her FIL voted Trump...

It has nothing to do with being more tolerant and everything to do with how you evaluate Trump's administration.

You think he's an idiot but not that bad. I have a different assessment.

Learn something? Like being racists?

Values?? It's foreign president, whilst an idiot is not going to cause world war 3 in the remaining 3 years of office.

Some people are just more tolerant than others and able to separate someone politics from the person, some members of my family voted for Brexit, they had their reasons which I didn't agree with, but doesn't mean I am going to disown them over their views and choices.

World would be a lot better place if people kept their opinions to themselves, rather than thinking they have some morale high ground.

It all comes down to values at the end of the day. You clearly don't think Trump is as dangerous as I think he is, and you clearly place more value on money than I do. You're entitled to your views, as I am entitled to mine. Ultimately, the OP will make her own decision.

I agree with this.

you sound insufferable OP. I’m embarrassed for you.

I've lived in the US and have friends that are on both sides of the political divide, Trumps is clearly a polarising character, and destabilising the world at present, but we are looking from the outside making decisions based primarily on the media.

I have friends and work colleagues who are very intelligent, that I have know and respected for decades that are Trump supporters, whilst I don't agree with their politics, I'm able to have conversations and agree to disagree.

Sorry, but refusing an inheritance just because FIL voted for Trump is a massive overreaction. My DH votes differently than me, we don't get divorced over it...

Oh dear I do long for the days when people kept it private information as to who they voted for. If you can't get along with someone who has different views from you then yes, you are being unreasonable. You sound superior and condescending. Perhaps you could learn something from previous generations.

It's an overreaction from your perspective. Presumably you're not that concerned about what's going on in the US. That's your prerogative.

I don't think it's an overreaction at all.

As to whether or not the OP means what she says, neither of us can possibly know. I see no real reason why she would make it up.

Stuff like this is why politics is in such a mess at the moment, both here and in the US. People just aren't prepared to politely disagree with each other, and civilised discourse just goes out the window.

Because I don't believe it, and such an overreaction.

What's it to you if she does refuse any inheritance? Not everyone puts money before morals.

"'I'm no longer comfortable accepting anything from them", this is just ridiculous and case of bite off your nose to spite your face, you don't like their views fair enough, but where does this stop, are you going to refuse any inheritance etc. would could benefit your family?

Well, this thread has not helped me make a decision 😅 But it has talked me down off the ledge I was on last night - I posted immediately after reading about Alex Pretti and was admittedly feeling quite emotional.

It has helped me articulate my own conflicting feelings though, which seem to be reflected in the opposing views on the thread.

Namely, that it's a vital skill to be able to get along with people who believe differently from yourself. That the increasing polarisation of political thought is a bad thing, and that isolating yourself from people with different views only exacerbates that. That I want to model peaceful relationships and reasoned debate to the DC, not dramatic reactions. That democracy and freedom of speech and thought is important. And that the ILs are broadly decent people, that they're family, and that they're good grandparents to the DC.

On the other hand, I do believe that conviction and sticking by your principles is important. Supporting the events going on in America at the moment is very different IMO to e.g. voting for Brexit. The situation in America is not at all dissimilar to the situation in Germany preceding WW2, and if those of us who find it abhorrent stand by and do nothing, say nothing, in the name of not rocking the family boat, are we any better than the people who support it or than those who are carrying out the killing? Is that what I want to teach the DC? That you sacrifice your beliefs on the altar of being polite and not upsetting people?

To those saying I overlooked the previous racism and other red flags and wondering why I'd now choose to die on this hill, it's more that this is the last straw after several years of offensive beliefs comments... on a background of generosity and otherwise kindness.

To those talking about "tainted" money etc, I have said to DH that I'm no longer comfortable accepting anything from them. The money they gave for the house was 15 years ago when they were much more temperate in their views. It's in the last 6-7 years that they've become much more right-wing and FIL in particular seems to have espoused more racist / misogynistic / evangelical views.

Anyway, thank you again for the various viewpoints and insights.

Well then respect to you for sticking to your political guns!