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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To go LC with PILs because FIL voted for Trump?

308 replies

EachotherAndAnother · 24/01/2026 22:52

I've been married for 18 years, two primary-aged DC. My ILs are American. They live about 20 mins drive from us (in the UK). For most of my marriage we've gotten along fine-ish, although I've often felt like they cross a lot of boundaries and have learned to be judicious about how much I open up to them. But they're hospitable and generous - have helped us financially when buying our house, help with the DC in the holidays etc.
They've occasionally made comments that have rubbed me the wrong way, but I've dismissed them as typical boomer nonsense - e.g. the idea that poor people are usually poor because they've make bad choices. They also cautioned their other son (DH's brother), who was planning to (and did) marry a Black woman, that any time a "minority" has married into the family it's ended up causing problems and division. But by and large I keep my conversations with them superficial and manage to rub along ok. The DC adore them.
But - I recently found out that FIL voted for Trump. Any time a controversial issue has come up regarding politics in the US, the conversation gets shut down very quickly, but I had my suspicions and these are now confirmed. And maybe it's ridiculous but I just can't stomach being around them anymore - I'm disgusted that he felt a man like that deserved to be elevated to the role of president and I'm furious about the havoc that is unleashing in the States and elsewhere. I don't want my daughter (in particular, but also not my son) spending time with them, I just feel like they're completely different people from me, with completely different values.
They are oblivious to how I feel and would feel blindsided if I brought it up. We would definitely not be able to have a productive conversation about it. So AIBU to just quietly stop accepting invitations, offers of help etc and gradually distance my family from theirs, or is that a massive overreaction?

OP posts:
PixieDust91 · 24/01/2026 23:04

GCAcademic · 24/01/2026 23:01

A tad hypocritical given that your shouting and screaming and insulting posters on another thread suggests that you can't control your temper around anyone who doesn't share your political views.

I'm not the one posting lies and fabricated stories, that literally get disproven within hours, just to try to get sympathy for a lie that I believed for years. It's hard to admit you were wrong and lied to for so long. I know! But that's step 1 in recovery. I hope you get there! :)

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 24/01/2026 23:04

PixieDust91 · 24/01/2026 22:55

77 million Americans voted for President Trump. If you can't keep a decent relationship with someone because of politics, they don't need a fickle person like you in their life.

Anyone with even half of a moral compass would struggle to maintain a positive relationship with someone who supports Trump.

Livelovebehappy · 24/01/2026 23:02

You lost me at 'boomer nonsence'. To dismiss an entire generation just because of when they were born is pretty dumb. And millions of Americans voted for him. You think you know better than them?

GCAcademic · 24/01/2026 23:01

PixieDust91 · 24/01/2026 22:55

77 million Americans voted for President Trump. If you can't keep a decent relationship with someone because of politics, they don't need a fickle person like you in their life.

A tad hypocritical given that your shouting and screaming and insulting posters on another thread suggests that you can't control your temper around anyone who doesn't share your political views.

sittingonabeach · 24/01/2026 23:00

Does he still support Trump?

blankcanvas3 · 24/01/2026 23:00

Ignore the first reply, I wouldn’t associate with a Trump voter - related or not. Not unreasonable at all!

EachotherAndAnother · 24/01/2026 22:58

@PixieDust91 Fickle how?

OP posts:
PixieDust91 · 24/01/2026 22:55

77 million Americans voted for President Trump. If you can't keep a decent relationship with someone because of politics, they don't need a fickle person like you in their life.