To not enjoy eating out with my kids?

My son and DIL take my grandchildren (6 and 4) to Morrisons cafe and have done since they were young. The kids love it and it’s not expensive. They have recently graduated to local cafes.
I think OP has high expectations and is putting herself under too much pressure. Take your kids to a supermarket for a mid morning meal.

My youngest has SEN so he’s a nightmare to contain, he doesn’t enjoy sitting still unless moving in a vehicle. He’s absolutely fine on a long flight even and won’t attempt to get up but forget a restaurant, the cinema, theatre etc. The only way we can get him to sit still for a period of time is with his headphones and iPad. I know people hate this but it’s either that or we don’t eat out because otherwise we’d spend the time fighting to keep him sat down.

I used to take my children to small cafes to teach them the social skills of eating out. You can still teach them to behave, be polite, use cutlery etc while eating an all-day breakfast or a plate of chips in a greasy spoon establishment, when they have mastered this, you take them to nicer places.

I don't know why the British seem to find this so hard, when we go abroad, we see toddlers of Italian/French/Greek families sitting composedly at the table eating their food with very little disruption.

Or spend money on a babysitter and enjoy adult meals.

And of course consider others, it can ruin other people's meal out to have disruptive small children at the next table, and it's cost them a lot of money too.

We have a 15 month old 4 and 5 year old the eldests are no bother at all BUT do want chatting to and engaging with understandably that’s my job and it’s fine, the baby / toddler - nightmare. But we remember this with the other two and pressed pause for 6 months til it passed but just trying our best now as the girls love a pizza express tea and colouring we can walk from our house which tires them out in the summer there’s a lovely local pizza place with a great space outside with toys for kids so that fees easy. Or easy as it can.

I get you. When DCs were little we didn’t really go out to eat unless we were out for the day or on holiday. DS barely ate anything from age 1-4 - I mean he ate ok at home but only ate a limited range and with specific requirements (now he eats pretty much everything but he’s an adult). He was very vocal if the food wasn’t to his requirements. As he got older it got easier and we took our sticker books etc and it wasn’t ok.
DD was always fine to take out though - she’s sit and eat a bowl of pasta and tomato sauce from about 2!

Also have you tried going out for breakfast somewhere with pancakes - my two love this. One course so less waiting and something they’re excited for.
I don’t think kids really care where their main meal is and would probably rather be at home for it.

YANBU - it’s really stressful.
I second what another poster said about restaurants with a little playpark (when the weather is better). They can burn off energy until the food comes and you get some peace.
I also never thought I’d be begging my kids to eat the processed food they’d ordered which I could just stick in the oven but it’s happened!

It is easier now mine are 6 and 7 although we bring a lot of card games and drawing so we are still ‘on’ constantly but it’s less stressful.

I find that it costs so much to eat out for 5 that my expectations are sky high, and one drink and a main never lives up to that.

DS wouldn’t be one for sitting down, never has been.
So, a croissant in a cafe. A nice cafe, now & then…
In a restaurant, he’ll be off chatting to everyone.
Which, for a lot of people having a meal, is a no-no!

I hate it too but that’s because mine have allergies and it’s just stressful as well as all the other things you mention

We go to a DiMaggio with a soft play attached! Fancy restaurants a complete no no with my 6 and 9 yr old boys. Kid friendly cafes only as well

At 6 & 3 I found it awful too. Then covid hit, and we had a long break from it. By 4 & 7 it was better. At 5 & 8 it was pleasant.

So don't worry - don't subject yourself to something you are not enjoying because you feel you should, just try again in a while.

We used to take my sons to Frankie and Benny's, used to get a really good deal pre COVID. Now they are older its wetherspoons Lol....cheap and cheerful

And sit about playing bloody eye spy 🤣 performative parenting at its best! Give them a few more years and they’ll be absolutely fine OP.

Pubs with playgrounds until they are double digits. Then card games etc and it is actually fun!

"However, I guess if we don't persevere then they'll never learn the skills and we'll never be able to enjoy a nice relaxing, leisurely meal"
Pensioners eat out. They aren't tipping their food on the table and going for it, like a geriatric fight club. I'd put money on none of them ever being taken to restaurants. It was rare to eat out, in my generation, growing up in the 70s. If it's too stressful, stop doing it until they are older.

Mine are 7 and 3, and I feel the same! DD1 who is 7 is fine to eat out with as long as it doesn't take too too long but my just turned 3 year old is another story. We are lucky we live in a tourist destination in the UK with lots of hotels with nice restaurants but also soft plays/kids areas so we aim for those if we go out to eat. Or places that are buffet style where the food is ready to go and there is no waiting around.

We very rarely ate out when the dc were that age. Its not really a skill that needs to be learnt until they are older.

As a child we never ate out.

Only go to cheaper places and only get a main. Don't drag it out with desserts.

Well done you for being so wonderful. Shame you dont seem to understand that not every kid is the same.

The OP has 6 year old twins which isnt just "two kids" its a tag team, cos thats how they work, then she has the three year old on top. Do you have that? Do take out that combination of children so you understand what its like?

No, thought not.

Agree.

You have to approach a meal out as parenting away from home with stricter standards. It's not a 'meal out' for the parents - it's a teaching experience requiring effort and focus.

I wouldn’t say I enjoy eating out with the kids (5 and 20 months) but they aren’t badly behaved and are easily distracted so it’s perfectly doable. We only order starters and desserts at big family meals and tend to go out for lunch rather than dinner.

@CantThinkofaNam eating out at a restaurant is hardly the same as a school lunch is it. I don’t think many schools offer a menu to peruse, followed by staff bringing out drinks and two courses, one after another.