My mother is quite wealthy and is 89. She’s in pretty good health on the whole but she’s got mobility and cognition (not dementia but age related decline) issues. Her financial adviser has recommended that to avoid 40% inheritance tax on her assets as much as possible, she should gift £6k a year (the limits to avoid the 7 year inheritance tax rule is £3k plus another £3k if it’s interest earned on investment and you can prove you don’t need it to live on). She has excellent pensions which give her an income far in excess of what she needs or wants to spend, 4 children and numerous grandchildren. So she could give away £6k a year no problem.
Instead of giving her children the money (and of course she doesn’t need to give it to us - she can give it to a charity or anywhere!) she says that she wants to use the money to pay for us to take her away on holidays. So her gift is us taking her away on holiday. Not all together but each of us taking her away in turn.
I work full time, have three kids (two with SEN) and a limited holiday allowance. AIBU in thinking this isn’t really a gift and is actually working?
For context, I do most of the day to day caring as she moved to be very close to me after my dad died 6 years ago.
She keeps badgering me about where I want to go. I do love her very much but this wouldn’t be a holiday. I don’t know how to say to her that I don’t want to take her on holiday without really hurting her feelings. I’ve suggested a series of day trips but she keeps pushing back with that not being very relaxing for me. She really has no idea that she is not at all relaxing to be with.
If anyone has any good ideas how I could say thanks but no thanks I would love to hear it. And I don’t want her money at all.