I feel like he’s looking for an argument all the time.
today, I went with his to the junior football match he coaches. Got up at 8am, got ready and was pleased to be there. End of second half a boy gets tackled and looks like he’s broken his foot. Me and husband rush him to A&E because his parents weren’t at the match. Sat with him, I bought him food and a drink, comforted him, and stayed with them both until his parents got there around 2 hours later.
Then husband had to go and collect his sister who’s been discharged from hospital. I walked to the shop, bought dinner and cooked it for him.
He gets back saying “I’m this close to breaking”, slams doors, shouts at the dogs for no reason. Then sits on the couch next to me and stares ahead. I asked what’s wrong he said “I’m tired”. I say do you want to eat and then go to bed? He said it’s not that kind of tired.
then he says his day was ruined, he just wanted to coach, then says he doesn’t have enough time to do his hobbies anymore. This is because he’s increased his PT hours to FT as I was paying 75% of bills, and him 25%.
I said there has to be give and take and that family men can’t always do what they want. He then said why aren’t I comforting him/cuddling him? Then he said that I’m acting as if he’s hurt me?
that’s just one example.
The issue of him not being “allowed” to spend money on ridiculous stuff is an ongoing issues - in the past he’s not contributed to bills because he’s bought a new item for leisure, like new golf clubs without consultation.
Im actually quite scared/awkward to respond well when he’s slamming around or moody so I keep quiet. When I do speak he says I’m not helping.
when I disclose that I find something hard or feel low (ie when hospitalised for an operation) he’s always telling me to look on the bright side etc
AIBU to feel like he needs to get in the real world and family men can’t gallivant around spending their own money and filling time with all their leisure time?!