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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think people who constantly publicly share their achievements have something to prove?

79 replies

JennyWren5 · 24/01/2026 18:00

I’d be really interested to hear your thoughts.

For example, I went to school and university with someone who was an acquaintance of mine, with a different friendship circle. She was and still is very, very clever and talented and pretty, with - in my view - everything going for her. She is absolutely smashing life right now in terms of her job and salary, and also has a partner and a lovely house.

I am not in touch with her, but follow her on social media out of choice and curiosity, and she publicly shares details of all her achievements on there.

As I’ve said, it is entirely my choice about whether or not I follow her on social media. I’m not jealous of what she has achieved. I actually find it quite motivating to see what she has achieved and to use it to help me work out what I want out of my life and what I’d like to achieve. If it wasn’t helpful, I would stop following her.

My AIBU is: because she posts most of her achievements publicly on social media, is she trying to prove something? And if so, what? (And before some wag pops up and says ‘dunno, ask her!’, of course I can’t.)

OP posts:
Original poster
JennyWren5 · 24/01/2026 18:24

Itsmetheflamingo · 24/01/2026 18:21

Funnily enough someone popped up on my TikTok claiming to have gone from teacher to massive paying job. I didn’t believe it- what company pays an ex teacher with no other experience loads of money? What could she possibly be doing for them up command a massive salary? Just sounds like lies

Show quote history

I know for a fact this isn’t made up. She went to a very good uni, which is probably why she’s in such a good job. Maybe I am a bit jealous of her and feel inadequate in comparison. How can I change my mindset? I am proud of what I’ve achieved so far, but still have stuff I want to achieve. I just feel she’s so much more motivated and disciplined than me.

OP posts:
Itsmetheflamingo · 24/01/2026 18:21

JennyWren5 · 24/01/2026 18:11

It doesn’t matter if she’s trying to prove anything. I’ve just been thinking about it a lot over the last few years.

The first time I became aware of it, we were at university and she posted a photo of a prize she received during an internship she’d done.

Right after we’d graduated, she then decided to give up a job offer she’d had for a high-paying graduate job in favour of training to be a teacher of a certain skill. This then got picked up by national newspapers, and she posted photos of the newspaper headlines on her Instagram profile. She worked as a teacher in that area for a couple of years and then switched jobs to work in a very high-paying industry with long hours.

I am totally, totally on board with celebrating yourself. But this seems to me to be beyond that. She’s posted so many details of her house and living situation on social media that I was very easily able to find out her address.

Funnily enough someone popped up on my TikTok claiming to have gone from teacher to massive paying job. I didn’t believe it- what company pays an ex teacher with no other experience loads of money? What could she possibly be doing for them up command a massive salary? Just sounds like lies

Original poster
JennyWren5 · 24/01/2026 18:20

pinktonyclub · 24/01/2026 18:19

OP, you initially said she ‘posted so many details of her house and living situation on social media that I was very easily able to find out her address’ - that’s very different to ‘she posted her address on social media’.

She sounds totally normal, loads of people would share that sort of stuff. You however seem weirdly obsessed…

She did post her actual address on there though.

OP posts:
pinktonyclub · 24/01/2026 18:19

OP, you initially said she ‘posted so many details of her house and living situation on social media that I was very easily able to find out her address’ - that’s very different to ‘she posted her address on social media’.

She sounds totally normal, loads of people would share that sort of stuff. You however seem weirdly obsessed…

Original poster
JennyWren5 · 24/01/2026 18:19

BlackCrowKing · 24/01/2026 18:16

You just sound jealous to be honest. And if you’re using her as a yardstick to measure your own success, that’s your problem surely?

Show quote history

I don’t think I am jealous. I also don’t think it’s a bad thing for me to use her achievements to motivate myself.

What I’m asking is if people on here think people who post publicly about their achievements have something to prove.

OP posts:
Original poster
JennyWren5 · 24/01/2026 18:16

SarahAndQuack · 24/01/2026 18:15

A moment ago you said it was 'very easy to find,' not that she posted it.

It was easy to find because she’d posted it.

OP posts:
BlackCrowKing · 24/01/2026 18:16

JennyWren5 · 24/01/2026 18:11

It doesn’t matter if she’s trying to prove anything. I’ve just been thinking about it a lot over the last few years.

The first time I became aware of it, we were at university and she posted a photo of a prize she received during an internship she’d done.

Right after we’d graduated, she then decided to give up a job offer she’d had for a high-paying graduate job in favour of training to be a teacher of a certain skill. This then got picked up by national newspapers, and she posted photos of the newspaper headlines on her Instagram profile. She worked as a teacher in that area for a couple of years and then switched jobs to work in a very high-paying industry with long hours.

I am totally, totally on board with celebrating yourself. But this seems to me to be beyond that. She’s posted so many details of her house and living situation on social media that I was very easily able to find out her address.

You just sound jealous to be honest. And if you’re using her as a yardstick to measure your own success, that’s your problem surely?

Itsmetheflamingo · 24/01/2026 18:16

If you don’t know what you think she needs to “prove” how can we contribute to the discussion

BubblesandTiara · 24/01/2026 18:16

JennyWren5 · 24/01/2026 18:13

She posted her full address on social media.

Show quote history

if it's public instagram, she's stupid.

BubblesandTiara · 24/01/2026 18:15

good for her, doesn't matter if she has something to prove or not, who cares.

She's achieving, is proud of her achievement and celebrating. Many people do that, why should they hide? real friends cheer them on.

Doesn't matter if it's a sports medal, a prize. If it's newspaper headline, of course she should share!

SarahAndQuack · 24/01/2026 18:15

A moment ago you said it was 'very easy to find,' not that she posted it.

Original poster
JennyWren5 · 24/01/2026 18:13

SarahAndQuack · 24/01/2026 18:13

Woah ... you found out her address based on details she gave?!

You are a stalker. Stop it.

She sounds totally normal.

She posted her full address on social media.

OP posts:
SarahAndQuack · 24/01/2026 18:13

Woah ... you found out her address based on details she gave?!

You are a stalker. Stop it.

She sounds totally normal.

PurpleCoo · 24/01/2026 18:12

Forgot to say, it's not necessarily people having to prove something. It's just part of sharing your life. Tone is so important though, if they are full of themselves doing it, that's not a great way to be.

I enjoy the small achievements too... Especially if they are craft/arts/bakes things they have made. My social group is mostly professional/academic, so it's nice to hear about more well-being focused/fun activities as well

Original poster
JennyWren5 · 24/01/2026 18:12

Caughtletren · 24/01/2026 18:06

d. I actually find it quite motivating to see what she has achieved and to use it to help me work out what I want out of my life and what I’d like to achieve

well that doesn’t sound creepy and weird at all

I’m assuming you’re not being sarcastic. I don’t think it’s creepy or weird - why is it creepy or weird?

OP posts:
pointythings · 24/01/2026 18:12

I thought this was going to be another Tump thread...

Original poster
JennyWren5 · 24/01/2026 18:11

It doesn’t matter if she’s trying to prove anything. I’ve just been thinking about it a lot over the last few years.

The first time I became aware of it, we were at university and she posted a photo of a prize she received during an internship she’d done.

Right after we’d graduated, she then decided to give up a job offer she’d had for a high-paying graduate job in favour of training to be a teacher of a certain skill. This then got picked up by national newspapers, and she posted photos of the newspaper headlines on her Instagram profile. She worked as a teacher in that area for a couple of years and then switched jobs to work in a very high-paying industry with long hours.

I am totally, totally on board with celebrating yourself. But this seems to me to be beyond that. She’s posted so many details of her house and living situation on social media that I was very easily able to find out her address.

OP posts:
youalright · 24/01/2026 18:09

I'd prefer to see stuff like this then people who repeatedly post moaning constantly about everything or about every little medical problem they have or how little they have slept. I genuinely love hearing good news and holiday pics etc.

PurpleCoo · 24/01/2026 18:07

Surely it depends on what it is and how it's done.

Why shouldn't people post on social media if they have trained hard and run a marathon. Or if someone has worked bloody hard and completed their PhD.

I think achievements should be shared and celebrated. I like to hear about my friends achievements, both before and after. I support them when they are preparing for something difficult and want to celebrate their wins when they achieve them

SarahAndQuack · 24/01/2026 18:07

Depends how she uses social media/what kind of work she's in, surely?

Tons of people use instagram to promote their work, especially if it's a visual field.

NoSoupForU · 24/01/2026 18:07

Depends what you define as achievements really. Surely she's just sharing the highlights of her life, like most people who post?

Caughtletren · 24/01/2026 18:06

d. I actually find it quite motivating to see what she has achieved and to use it to help me work out what I want out of my life and what I’d like to achieve

well that doesn’t sound creepy and weird at all

Ponoka7 · 24/01/2026 18:05

She mistakenly thinks that everyone on her SM wishes her well. Because we aren't bumping into our friends in the laundrette, at the shops etc, but we are on Social media (clue is in the name) we spread our news that way.

pinktonyclub · 24/01/2026 18:05

Does it matter? It sounds like she’s done very well for herself and lots of people like to share the ups on their social media, it’s basically what it was invented for. Like the post and move along with your day!

Downplayit · 24/01/2026 18:04

Yes, without a doubt. Its really boring when people do this and why I stopped using social media. I dont hate on people for it. I think they must be deeply insecure or missing something in their life to have to constantly big themselves up.

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