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AIBU?

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To leave friend sitting in her car outside my house as she's arrived 90 minutes early

418 replies

youretooearly · 24/01/2026 17:11

I invited my friend over to my house for a takeaway tonight. She asked what time and I said about 6pm. She responded to say she was planning to leave her house shortly (this was about 3.30pm) as she has never been to my house before and wanted to find her way before it got dark. She said not to worry she would just "hang around" somewhere and wouldn't impose. I assumed she meant she would go to a nearby coffee shop or something. I wasn't at home at that stage and told her so. I got home about 45 minutes ago and planned to use the time before she arrived to do more preparation for a job interview I have on Monday.

I walked into my living room about half an hour ago and noticed her car sitting outside my house! So she was here at least 1 hour 20 minutes early. I was shocked. I haven't acknowledged that I've seen her or invited her in yet. She's sent me a message 15 minutes ago "let me know when you're ready". I feel a bit angry that she's turned up so early! I said 6pm for a reason and now feel under pressure to let her in.

OP posts:
Xmasbaby11 · 24/01/2026 17:34

Of course she was OTT leaving so early. I'm a bit of a nervous driver with new places but no away would have been this early.

However, of course I'd let her in now. Either start the evening early and do your job prep later, or leave her in another room while you prep. It's surely only about an hour and you can move that slot to another time.

Isekaied · 24/01/2026 17:34

I would let her in

Zanatdy · 24/01/2026 17:34

Jeez, yes inconvenient but who leaves their friend outside? She wanted to find your place before dark which is fair

Happyjoe · 24/01/2026 17:33

I think leaving her outside trumps her stupidly early arrival in levels of weirdness tbh. She's a friend, let her in!

2old4thispoo · 24/01/2026 17:32

flametrees · 24/01/2026 17:22

Wow there are so many people saying leave her outside!
Its January. She has driven to see you.
let her in!

No theres not!

Your friend is extremely rude to turn up an hour and half early. If she can't drive in the dark, she shouldn't be driving.

I would feel exactly like you but I would invite her in as your also being really rude leaving her sitting outside.

Shegotanology · 24/01/2026 17:32

Just let her in. What's the matter with you?

365RubyRed · 24/01/2026 17:32

Jesus wept, what kind of friend are you? Let the woman in FGS. It's bloody freezing out.

RawBloomers · 24/01/2026 17:31

Text back - “Working right now. Will be ready at 6. Hope you find the place. “ and then get back to your interview prep.

Arriving early is rude for this very reason. But she gave you an out. Better to use that out and not let bad feeling develop. So don’t acknowledge you saw the car and don’t let her being there early pressure you.

Sounds like your friend might be a bit anxious in some situations but she’s perfectly safe say in the car so there’s no need to let it disturb your need for prep.

Isittimeformynapyet · 24/01/2026 17:30

fishfingerbutty · 24/01/2026 17:26

But does she live two and a half hours drive away to have set off so early?
Does she not have sat nav ( or headlights)?

Well, the OP said she didn't want to drive in the dark, so we might as well go with that for the moment.

LoveWine123 · 24/01/2026 17:29

Omg let her in! She is not disturbing you, she hasn’t come to the door even. She must have been nervous driving there. Make her a hot drink and ask her to give you some time to do what you need to do. You clearly have time to post here so you can’t be that focused on your interview prep. What is the matter with people…

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 24/01/2026 17:28

Cancel.

DARE YOU.

cartagenagina · 24/01/2026 17:28

Is she staying over? I can’t drive in the dark any more and it’s very difficult.

Can you let her in and pop her in front of TV whilst you do your thing?

Isittimeformynapyet · 24/01/2026 17:27

flametrees · 24/01/2026 17:22

Wow there are so many people saying leave her outside!
Its January. She has driven to see you.
let her in!

No there aren't. There's only 2 at the moment, far and away the minority.

fishfingerbutty · 24/01/2026 17:26

But does she live two and a half hours drive away to have set off so early?
Does she not have sat nav ( or headlights)?

FOJN · 24/01/2026 17:26

I'd message her back saying, "I thought we said 6? See you then". I don't appreciate other people putting me on the spot no matter how uncomfortable their own choices make them.

CelticSilver · 24/01/2026 17:24

Jesus. With friends like you ...

ArthriticOldLabrador · 24/01/2026 17:24

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Summerunlover · 24/01/2026 17:24

This is so odd. My fiends are welcome in my home any time. Why would you make her sit outside.

Mumstheword1983 · 24/01/2026 17:22

BudgetBuster · 24/01/2026 17:14

I'd just say "Sorry I'm busy but you're more than welcome to hang out while I get some work finished"

Make her a cuppa and head off to finish your work.

This.

leaflikebrew · 24/01/2026 17:22

HorrorFan81 · 24/01/2026 17:14

I'd just let her in, get her a drink and crack on with your jobs until 6

This

No biggie

flametrees · 24/01/2026 17:22

Wow there are so many people saying leave her outside!
Its January. She has driven to see you.
let her in!

Bigearringsbigsmile · 24/01/2026 17:21

This is so fucking weird!!!
She's a friend! Invite her in!

SwedishEdith · 24/01/2026 17:20

Is she staying over? Is she going to be okay driving back in the dark?

The whole thing is weird. Getting somewhere that early and then telling you rather than go somewhere else until 6. And you noticing and friend and not going out and saying "What are you doing out there? Come in. But I'm not quite ready and just need to do x." and get them a drink.

holjam · 24/01/2026 17:19

For gods sake if she’s your friend let her in! Surely you could make her a cuppa let her settle herself and explain you have some work to do?!

2026NewTricks · 24/01/2026 17:19

How awkward. If you leave her it’ll be awkward at 6pm. If you let her in, she’ll probably do it again.

I think I would let her in though. Couldn’t crack on knowing she’s outside for an hour, I’d feel too uncomfortable.

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