To leave friend sitting in her car outside my house as she's arrived 90 minutes early

Hi Jam, I totally agree with you.

I think 90 minutes works out at an hour and a half (which is more than enough to make it annoying) not two hours.

You're doing that exaggerating thing again.

Yep. Autistic here too.

It would make me so uncomfortable - I'd force myself to let them in but I would be really thrown by the whole thing and it would make me weirdly anxious and unsettled.

People are on about OP being a bad friend but what about the woman who felt it acceptable to turn up two hours early and loiter around outside? 😬

So the interview planning has been abandoned to go on Mumsnet rather than to see your friend!

I agree. Sometimes when I read Mumsnet I feel like the art of friendship is being lost.

I invited my friend over to my house for a takeaway tonight. She asked what time and I said about 6pm. She responded to say she was planning to leave her house shortly (this was about 3.30pm) as she has never been to my house before and wanted to find her way before it got dark. She said not to worry she would just "hang around" somewhere and wouldn't impose. I assumed she meant she would go to a nearby coffee shop or something. I wasn't at home at that stage and told her so. I got home about 45 minutes ago and planned to use the time before she arrived to do more preparation for a job interview I have on Monday.

I walked into my living room about half an hour ago and noticed her car sitting outside my house! So she was here at least 1 hour 20 minutes early. I was shocked. I haven't acknowledged that I've seen her or invited her in yet. She's sent me a message 15 minutes ago "let me know when you're ready". I feel a bit angry that she's turned up so early! I said 6pm for a reason and now feel under pressure to let her in.

WTAF?

Do you have many friends? Im not sure there are many that stick around after you leave them outside your house because they turned up early?

I invited my friend over to my house for a takeaway tonight. She asked what time and I said about 6pm. She responded to say she was planning to leave her house shortly (this was about 3.30pm) as she has never been to my house before and wanted to find her way before it got dark. She said not to worry she would just "hang around" somewhere and wouldn't impose. I assumed she meant she would go to a nearby coffee shop or something. I wasn't at home at that stage and told her so. I got home about 45 minutes ago and planned to use the time before she arrived to do more preparation for a job interview I have on Monday.

I walked into my living room about half an hour ago and noticed her car sitting outside my house! So she was here at least 1 hour 20 minutes early. I was shocked. I haven't acknowledged that I've seen her or invited her in yet. She's sent me a message 15 minutes ago "let me know when you're ready". I feel a bit angry that she's turned up so early! I said 6pm for a reason and now feel under pressure to let her in.

This whole arrangement is weird. She didn't want to arrive in the dark, but you weren't free until after dark, so why make the 6pm meeting time? Why not do it a different day or do your interview prep tomorrow?

I like my friends and don't care if they turn up early. My definition of a friend is obviously different from some on MN.

Yep. Autistic here too.

It would make me so uncomfortable - I'd force myself to let them in but I would be really thrown by the whole thing and it would make me weirdly anxious and unsettled.

People are on about OP being a bad friend but what about the woman who felt it acceptable to turn up two hours early and loiter around outside? 😬

Super early people are worse than late people imo. At least the late people are usually sorry. The super early people always act like you are somehow the one at fault. Fuck off.
If you go somewhere ridiculously early you better take responsibility for it and not assume anyone is going to accommodate you.. just like a late person would be forced to do.

Agree
I hate surprises
If I had planned to do interview prep this afternoon and someone turned up early, I'd be livid
It would totally throw me off
If I invited them in or kept them outside I wouldn't be able to concentrate on my work...
I hate my plans being ruined
I am autistic

I'd leave her outside
Had a friend that was constantly early
40 mins early
I was still getting ready and it really threw me off
I felt like I had to rush my hair and make up because she was waiting
And it annoyed me
The one time i did invite her in
It was constant interruptions
How do you turn the tv on
How do I find this channel
Where are you mugs kept
And then drove my dogs hyper talking to them in a high pitched baby voice

Never again. After that I just met her at the venue and she would wait 40 min by herself waiting

Being that early is bad manners

People saying oh but it's January... cars have heaters

Being 90 mins early is totally unacceptable
It's just rude

I'm genuinely surprised so many people would be okay with this.

Who turns up two hours early and expects to be let in and hosted?

I'd message her back saying, "I thought we said 6? See you then". I don't appreciate other people putting me on the spot no matter how uncomfortable their own choices make them.