To leave friend sitting in her car outside my house as she's arrived 90 minutes early

Well, if she's been out there for the past eight months, I'm guessing she's pretty desperate now...

If she left her house at 3.30pm, she’ll be needing a wee soon, so let the poor woman in. It’s unlikely to set a precedent, as she knows now how long it takes to get to you.

Think said friend is still outside the door starving

Well as @youretooearly didn’t reply again when she started this , I doubt she will now

This thread popped up on tiktok today. Thought I’d pop in and see what actually happened.

did Op let her friend in?
did OP get the job?
did friend realise it’s rude to arrive so early?

Weirder not to let your mate in and make her a cuppa.

Wonder if her friend is still outside...

😂😆

And when you point this out people are sometimes so snippy 🤣

Given that this thread is over a month old, I don’t think OP is still worrying about her interview prep.

MN is batshit, ok she’s early but to ignore her and leave outside is ignorant and bizarre.
Im sure you’ll find that hour tomorrow for your interview prep 🙄

If someone turned up that early to a visit at mine I would probably be a bit worried about her! Is her mental health ok? Might be suffering from some kind of anxiety. Or maybe a situation at home meaning she doesn’t want to be there? As others have suggested I’d invite her in but suggest she watch TV till you finish your work. Could she help you with your interview prep? Quite mean and odd not to invite her in or have any curiosity about what might be going on with her.

Why on earth would she not come in and hang out in your house?

How rude of you.

just seems weird you are too busy to let her in but have time to ask mumsnet for advice, just let her in lol

It’s your friend just let them in.

That's not kindness its having no boundaries.
If you let someone do something that makes you very uncomfortable you open yourself up to being regularly treated this way.
It's not unkind to state a meeting time and expect to meet at roughly that time. 10 mins out or so is fine... but 90 mins either early or late is fkn rude. Sometimes unavoidable to be late but being that early certainly is avoidable and any decent person wouldn't do it

I mean if she knows you're home (either by seeing you walking around inside your home OR your car out the front, OR not spotting you coming home from being out and about), you'd have to let her in, right?! How did the night go?

Well if they did get to order a take out, surly by now it would of either

1. Been ordered and eaten.
2. Or a local seagull would of nicked it as the delivery driver turned up.

Personly I value my friens so would let them in, if you really need more time give her a coffee and wxplain that you just have a couple of thing to do and next time make the time later,

Yet it still goes on!! ..😂..........

Not only is it almost certainly not real - but on the vague chance it IS real, it all happened two days ago. Why are people still telling the OP to invite her friend in? I doubt she’s still sitting in the car two days later!

OP has not posted anything since her original post do thinking this is not real

Wow, kindness really seems in short supply these days. Would people honestly let anyone sit in a car for an hour and half because it would inconvenience them and they feel "uncomfortable"? Are we never supposed to do things for others if it puts us at any disadvantage. I despair.

No, that's you being the issue here, not them. The plan was to meet for lunch, it's that didn't suit them the onus was on you to previously suggest meeting earlier, not just turn up hours before lunch and expect then to ditch any plans last minute - and yes she was at home but may have been busy.

What a strange thing to hang out in a car for hours with small children. Surely you'd go to a park, or for a walk, or to soft play, or a role play cafe, bowling, swimming or whatever. You must have known that you'd have a few hours to kill, and should have planned something.

This reminds me of a situation years ago.

My SIŁ and BIL live about 2 hours away from us. We (DH and then DS7, DD6) had arranged with them to meet at a seaside town close to them and then drive back to their city where we had a premier inn booked for the Saturday night and we were going to go out for lunch on Sunday before driving home.

Saturday then met us for about an hour but BIL back was hurting so they drive home. No offer for us to spend the evening with them (we planned to be at the seaside town until about 8 to see the lights, they left about 4pm).

Sunday morning, checkout is 10am. Our hotel doesn’t serve breakfast so we walked to a Sainsbury’s local, hardly anything was open, and got some pastries and a drink. We were sat on a bench with two young kids and nothing to do until lunch time. Messaged SIL to see what they were doing, told at the gym. We thought we would drive to theirs and wait until they returned from the gym and could hang out with them until we all went to lunch. We were parked outside their house for well over an hour, maybe 90mins trying to entertain the kids. BIL came home from gym, we got out of car and asked where SIL was, she had been home the entire time.

I don’t think it was deliberate, I just think they don’t have kids so it possibly hadn’t occurred to them that killing at least 2 hours (it was longer as we checked out before 9 to get breakfast) with kids would be hard. Even without kids though, they would know that there would be a period of time where we had no hotel room before we all planned to meet for lunch. If it was me I would have invited/assumed they would come to ours to hang out.

If she'd come from the other end of the country and had just finished a 12-hour drive, then fair enough. Her estimate might have been a lot out. But she hadn't left at 3:30, and was parked outside waiting by 4:45 (we don't know how much before that she arrived), so she was leaving at least double the amount of time needed. By parking outside rather than around the corner, and then the passive aggressive message, she was very clearly putting pressure on the OP to drop whatever she was doing which meant she couldn't meet until 6:00, and reschedule because she arrived on her terms instead. It's incredibly rude. Ruder in my view than arriving 90 minutes late.

If I've said, I'm free to meet at 6:00, it's because that's when I'm free. Before that I might be doing other things, having a shower, having an nap, wrangling children, doing work, whatever.

If she was 90 minutes late, it would have inconvenienced the OP in terms of her being hungry, but she wouldn't have necessarily had to reschedule her plans. Arriving early and passive aggressively. Pushing the other person into changing their plans is far more intrusive.

If you want to arrive somewhere an hour and a half early, crack on, but park around the corner and sit in your car, or go to a cafe. Don't sit outside putting pressure on someone.