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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be really upset about how DH just spoke to me??

205 replies

Chimney1 · 24/01/2026 15:19

The backstory sounds a bit weird, but anyway!!

I got rid of our back doormat about 6 months ago. There isn’t really space for one by the door as it interferes with being able to push the stools out at our breakfast bar. The backdoor isn’t used much in winter anyway, and in summer, I’ll just deal with cleaning the area.

DH is upset about this as thinks we need the mat. Today, he was outside and came in the backdoor and stepped in something (fox poo we think) and walked it inside. DD noticed and I said “yuck” or something. I wasn’t saying that to him, just at the situation, if that makes sense.

DH went on a tirade about this is why we need a door mat. I explained that the doormat I got rid of would have been worse (jute material), as it would have been awful to clean. He was insistent that that’s what doormats are for and was really acting in a way I didn’t like. He said everyone on this planet would agree with him. I sort of laughed to try and keep it a jovial disagreement, to try to defuse things, and said that I didn’t agree. He then said “you’re such an idiot at times!!!!”

DH has never said something like this to me before. We have been married for 12 years. Although I didn’t really like how he was speaking to me last weekend either, just more forceful than usual with his point of view.

Im really upset. I don’t think I deserved that comment. Although DD had left the room, she may have still been in earshot. I said to DH “that’s a horrible way to speak to me. I don’t want to talk to you anymore.” He said something back, which I now can’t remember. AIBU?

OP posts:
IPM · 24/01/2026 15:23

Chimney1 · 24/01/2026 15:22

The kids were having trouble with the stools due to the mat. They were sliding there stools in by leaning forward onto the two front legs and pulling forward. (Hard to describe - sorry!) It was only a matter of time before one of them was going to fall forwards and hurt themselves.

Outside mat then.

Dartmoorcheffy · 24/01/2026 15:23

Me and dp must be thick skinned as we regularity call each other that. I got called it when I carried a leaking bin bag through to the front door... he got called it when he forgot to close the bedroom door and the dogs got in after their walk and our duvet cover has a pawprint pattern now.

Its not worth sulking about.

Buy an outside doormat so it doesn't get in the way, and you can still wipe muddy feet.

NoSoupForU · 24/01/2026 15:22

I can't picture how you have enough clearance between the back door and breakfast bar for the door to open but not enough floorspace for a door mat.

I also don't quite get how or why only your opinion and wants counts.

But granted, he probably shouldn't have said you're an idiot.

Chimney1 · 24/01/2026 15:22

The kids were having trouble with the stools due to the mat. They were sliding there stools in by leaning forward onto the two front legs and pulling forward. (Hard to describe - sorry!) It was only a matter of time before one of them was going to fall forwards and hurt themselves.

OP posts:
IPM · 24/01/2026 15:22

Everyone's an idiot sometimes 🤷‍♂️

Get an outside doormat.

The type you wipe muddy boots on.

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