Happy for My Friend, But Finding This Hard

She has done something wrong. She's being self-centred and very insensitive. I'm on MJ and can't imagine giving too big clothes to a friend or even mentioning WL in similar circumstances. I wouldn't be so quick to assume she has good intentions. Some people love to have a larger friend to emphasise their WL. It's not necessarily conscious but what matters is the effect on you.

Have you just tried talking to her and telling her how you feel and that you'd appreciate her not talking about it constantly (even without the way it makes you feel about yourself - it sounds bloody dull!)? And that while you appreciate her kindness over the clothes, you'd prefer she didn't offer you any more?

YANBU. I find people who constantly go on about their weight and “diets” really boring anyway, but your friend is being really thoughtless.

I think I’d say, ‘I’m pleased for you and I know you mean it kindly and generously when you give me your weight-loss clothes but it does feel a bit sensitive for me to be reminded I’m the size you don’t want to be.’

YANBU OP. I cannot stand people who go on about weight, and give you a run down on their daily food intake to begin with. Add in the injections, and the insensitivity to you, self absorbed and awful. I'd distance yourself if that is all she talks about! 🥱

You’re not the problem here, friend is being awful.

I used to work with someone who quit smoking but didn’t actually want too and he would go on and on to the smokers when they would come in after a fag “ewww you smell like an ashtray “
“im glad ive given up that filthy habit” then every now and then he would stand with them almost frothing at the mouth taking in the smell til someone offered him a fag and he would give in and almost bite their hand off 😂😂 then back to the comments “I don’t know why you don’t give that up” 😂

Then in a year they pile the weight back on and they decide “they enjoy their food too much “ and start picking on the naturally slim women .
Tbh op I don’t think you’re being unreasonable to feel like you do. My friend is similar but about money , the old her was as tight as a duck. But now she’s got inheritance she can’t stop banging on about spending money and “well it’s only £30” she never used to want to spend 30p . Friendships change I’ve come to realise when you’ve no longer got anything in common and one of you changes . You can’t have the same conversations anymore. it’s a shame . Maybe you need to see her less coz it can start affecting your confidence . 1 that she’s losing weight and rubbing it in your face and 2 coz you can’t afford to do that .
Im sure she will be back once the fad of weight jabs wears off .

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I’m surprised at this. I haven’t told anyone outside my household (except for medical reasons) and this isn’t uncommon. In fact WLI threads are often full of people outraged that people keep their WLI use private.

That said, the friend is being an arse.

This is awful but is she hinting for you to go on them not thinking you can’t? You’ll get there op, just remember a step back day after two one step forward days meand you’ve only taken one step back. Being exhausted there will be times you can’t do what you can other days x

^ This, I was just about to say the same. The biggest difference is that it's rich people who are doing it, whereas anyone can be a vegan.

Actually I think she has done something wrong. I think she’s being very insensitive and indeed rude. In short, the problem is her not you. Friends should not make you feel bad about yourself. Maybe she’s not the friend for you.

Could you say something to her kindly. "Friend I'm so pleased for you, genuinely, but at the same time I'm also struggling myself. It would really help me if we focused more on topics that weren't about weight. I know weightloss is a big part of your life right now, so perhaps it's a big ask. Would really appreciate your support if that's something you feel able to do."

You’re not being in the least unreasonable. It would be desperately full even if it wasn’t distressing for you for reasons that are v understandable — she’s a weight bore. If not engaging with weight comments and changing the subject doesn’t work, then I’d ask her gently to change the record. Ask her if she realises how much she talks about a single subject, and while you appreciate she’s excited about it, it’s getting a bit much. If you’re very close, tell her what you said here.

Above all, prioritise your own mental health.

To be honest I find most of the people who lose a lot of weight on mounjaro don't bloody shut up about it. They're almost becoming the new vegans where you'll know they're on it because they can't help but tell you.

It's very annoying. All this "oh I couldn't possibly eat all that" it's so ironic.