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AIBU?

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Swimming pool toilets

36 replies

Werehalfwaythere · 24/01/2026 10:28

Just sense checking whether this is an issue or not in most people’s minds and it kind of is for me, but I don’t want to make a fuss for nothing.

The local leisure centre is having renovation works to its changing rooms which has halved the space and left only one toilet available - marked for females. Toilets are small with hardly any space to stand unless in a cubicle. The changing rooms are manic, especially after swimming lessons.

The renovations have been going on for a few months now and I’ve noticed each week after my kids lessons that the male cleaner enters the female toilets very regularly. I was waiting outside the cubicle my son was in and observed the male cleaner going in there 3 times in 5mins. Now, I’m not trying to suggest it’s illegitimate reasons as I’m sure the toilets get horrid very quickly with so many people using them and probably very slippery too.

The reasons I feel uncomfortable;

  1. it’s so tiny that young girls often go in alone, hardly any space to stand outside the cubicles.
  2. there’s no signage to say a male is in there at anytime. I wouldn’t know if he was in there if I sent my daughter in for example.
  3. it’s not a unisex toilet - it’s clearly marked for females only.
  4. As it’s a swimming pool changing room, everyone is in the equivalent of underwear and very exposed. For the average person it means nothing, but a solo man around young girls in costumes alone makes me feel uncomfortable.

AIBU to feel uncomfortable about this and that it’s an unnecessary safeguarding risk? The leisure centre is a big one, why wouldn’t they assign a female cleaner whilst the work is undergoing and the changing rooms are chaos?

Perhaps I’m being over sensitive about it so I’d value your thoughts!

OP posts:
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AnSolas · 09/02/2026 07:31

Needspaceforlego · 09/02/2026 06:33

Op are you sure he wasn't trying to get in to clean the cubicle and kept coming back to see when it was empty?

It sounds like your making a mountain out of a mole hill. The chances are their is one cleaner on shift whos doing both sets of toilets.

That is a managment question.

If he is having problems sticking up a closed for cleaning sign is an option.

Needspaceforlego · 09/02/2026 06:33

Op are you sure he wasn't trying to get in to clean the cubicle and kept coming back to see when it was empty?

It sounds like your making a mountain out of a mole hill. The chances are their is one cleaner on shift whos doing both sets of toilets.

poolportland · 09/02/2026 06:16

You’re not overreacting—your concerns are valid. A male cleaner in small female toilets, especially with children present, is a legitimate safeguarding risk. It would be reasonable to ask the leisure centre to have female staff clean these areas during busy times or to schedule cleaning when the toilets are empty. Your feelings are about safety and privacy, not being oversensitive.

MissCooCooMcgoo · 24/01/2026 15:52

@Werehalfwaythere is this the only time you've seen him exhibit this behaviour? If it is I think your reaching quite a bit and to complain about him would be quite unpleasant.

ilovesooty · 24/01/2026 12:41

Werehalfwaythere · 24/01/2026 12:06

I really can’t understand your point?

That a male child, likely under 10, is just as risky as a grown man?

Sorry, I think you’re reaching. Does your job involve any safeguarding? Mine does, perhaps that’s why we have different perspectives on risk and safeguarding.

There are lots of free safeguarding training courses available, you may find them enlightening. No pressure but they’re useful in every aspect of life, especially when making decisions to keep your children safe.

In my leisure centre boys over 7 aren't allowed in the female facilities. The female toilets are located within the female changing room.

If you're concerned about this male cleaner's duties you'll have to raise it with the premises manager.

Alittlefrustrated · 24/01/2026 12:23

I wish there was a cleaner regularly checking the toilets at my local leisure centre. They are minging.

LadyTable · 24/01/2026 12:18

Werehalfwaythere · 24/01/2026 12:17

Likewise. You’re coming across very unpleasant.

And you're coming across as a wee bit hypocritical.

Werehalfwaythere · 24/01/2026 12:17

LadyTable · 24/01/2026 12:16

You know what they say, 'A little bit of training makes everyone an expert'.

My point is, many mothers don't want boys in the girls toilets, especially once they're over the age of about 7 or 8 maximum, because they are the GIRLS toilets.

If you don't understand that, I can't help you.

Likewise. You’re coming across very unpleasant.

OP posts:
LadyTable · 24/01/2026 12:16

Werehalfwaythere · 24/01/2026 12:06

I really can’t understand your point?

That a male child, likely under 10, is just as risky as a grown man?

Sorry, I think you’re reaching. Does your job involve any safeguarding? Mine does, perhaps that’s why we have different perspectives on risk and safeguarding.

There are lots of free safeguarding training courses available, you may find them enlightening. No pressure but they’re useful in every aspect of life, especially when making decisions to keep your children safe.

You know what they say, 'A little bit of training makes everyone an expert'.

My point is, many mothers don't want boys in the girls toilets, especially once they're over the age of about 7 or 8 maximum, because they are the GIRLS toilets.

If you don't understand that, I can't help you.

Werehalfwaythere · 24/01/2026 12:09

@Screamingabdabz thanks for your support, I’m going to raise the concern. If nothing else, it may make them look at their policies to confirm all is appropriate.

I think some people genuinely just never have exposure to safeguarding theory and an understanding of how rife abuse is. It’s an ignorance rather than intentional gaslighting - I hope at least!

OP posts:
latetothefisting · 24/01/2026 12:08

Screamingabdabz · 24/01/2026 11:46

God the gaslighting and ‘wouldn't bother me’ complacency is exactly how men get away with criminal activity.

It’s the same mentality that thought boarding school teachers, BBC presenters and Catholic priests were all just innocent men ‘doing their job’ in the 60s and 70s. Some of them were. But some weren’t.

This is why safeguarding was brought it in the first place. Institutions should be protecting children’s safety with robust universal policies that apply to everyone. Then children are more likely to be safe whether their useless parents give a shit or not.

Op I’d ask them what their safeguarding policy is with regards to the single sex changing room.

Edited

but from what OP has said there isn't a "single sex changing room." It's a mixed changing room with a single sex toilet within it. Therefore a cleaner of either sex would still have to access the room where people of both sexes are changing to get to the toilet.

I'm surprised people seem to think it's do-able for every public building to have a cleaner of each sex available at all times! Have you never been out and about in the world and seen the 'cleaner of either sex may be present' signs in changing rooms, service stations, gyms...? It's very normal for men to clean women's toilets and vice versa.

Perhaps the leisure centre should be putting up a sign or advising the cleaner to knock and announce his presence before going into the toilets (which is what they do in my gym changing rooms) and fair enough if OP wants to suggest that. But there is no law or guidance suggesting he shouldn't be allowed to clean them at all.

Werehalfwaythere · 24/01/2026 12:07

@LadyTable and the vast majority of cleaners in the UK are female, so why would you assume it’s hard to find a female cleaner?

OP posts:
Werehalfwaythere · 24/01/2026 12:06

LadyTable · 24/01/2026 11:59

So what happens when the other parents don't want your son around their daughters in the girls toilets, while they're wearing swimsuits etc?

But you still see it as appropriate?

It's not that simple is it?

As I'm sure it's not that simple to find a female cleaner to cover this man's shift.

I really can’t understand your point?

That a male child, likely under 10, is just as risky as a grown man?

Sorry, I think you’re reaching. Does your job involve any safeguarding? Mine does, perhaps that’s why we have different perspectives on risk and safeguarding.

There are lots of free safeguarding training courses available, you may find them enlightening. No pressure but they’re useful in every aspect of life, especially when making decisions to keep your children safe.

OP posts:
LadyTable · 24/01/2026 11:59

Werehalfwaythere · 24/01/2026 11:55

At an age I see appropriate. It will likely be child specific.

So what happens when the other parents don't want your son around their daughters in the girls toilets, while they're wearing swimsuits etc?

But you still see it as appropriate?

It's not that simple is it?

As I'm sure it's not that simple to find a female cleaner to cover this man's shift.

Werehalfwaythere · 24/01/2026 11:55

LadyTable · 24/01/2026 11:47

So at what age will you be allowing your 5 year old to use the men's toilet alone, if there's a male cleaner?

At an age I see appropriate. It will likely be child specific.

OP posts:
LadyTable · 24/01/2026 11:47

Werehalfwaythere · 24/01/2026 11:30

The announcement is law, I thought. Maybe I’m wrong.

All humans are potential sexual abusers, men more so. Men alone with young girls in toilets in swimming costumes - even more so.

I haven’t once said I think he’s a sexual abuser. I’m concerned the leisure centre is not doing enough to safeguard against risky situations.

So at what age will you be allowing your 5 year old to use the men's toilet alone, if there's a male cleaner?

Screamingabdabz · 24/01/2026 11:46

God the gaslighting and ‘wouldn't bother me’ complacency is exactly how men get away with criminal activity.

It’s the same mentality that thought boarding school teachers, BBC presenters and Catholic priests were all just innocent men ‘doing their job’ in the 60s and 70s. Some of them were. But some weren’t.

This is why safeguarding was brought it in the first place. Institutions should be protecting children’s safety with robust universal policies that apply to everyone. Then children are more likely to be safe whether their useless parents give a shit or not.

Op I’d ask them what their safeguarding policy is with regards to the single sex changing room.

AnSolas · 24/01/2026 11:38

pimplebum · 24/01/2026 11:27

Why do you think the cleaner is a potential sexual abuser ? That a bit paranoid raise it with management that he needs to anounce himself and be dbs checked

Because sex offender dont come with handy signs?

DBS checks for known sex offenders who have already come to the attention of the police who have to have an evidence (victim) based reason to make a disclosure.

Yes management should safeguard the employee by changing their process.

Its never paranoid to think about safeguarding

Arcticsway · 24/01/2026 11:35

At my pool, the female toilets and showers are in one room. A man walking in would not 'see' anything as the showers and toilets are all in enclosed cubicles. But if a male cleaner/lifeguard needs to come into to clean or check something, they stand at the door and shout 'anyone in?' and if there is, they wait until the room is empty to go in. They do not go in if there are women or girls in there.

Werehalfwaythere · 24/01/2026 11:30

pimplebum · 24/01/2026 11:27

Why do you think the cleaner is a potential sexual abuser ? That a bit paranoid raise it with management that he needs to anounce himself and be dbs checked

The announcement is law, I thought. Maybe I’m wrong.

All humans are potential sexual abusers, men more so. Men alone with young girls in toilets in swimming costumes - even more so.

I haven’t once said I think he’s a sexual abuser. I’m concerned the leisure centre is not doing enough to safeguard against risky situations.

OP posts:
pimplebum · 24/01/2026 11:27

Why do you think the cleaner is a potential sexual abuser ? That a bit paranoid raise it with management that he needs to anounce himself and be dbs checked

Werehalfwaythere · 24/01/2026 11:27

ItsPronouncedThroatwobblerMangrove · 24/01/2026 11:16

Isn’t it usually the case that the cleaner’s cupboard is in the loos? So is he going in and out for supplies or to put the mop away etc? I don’t think the Equality Act would allow you to recruit or deploy a cleaner by sex, so there wouldn’t be a way to guarantee a female cleaner, though of course a sign to say a male attendant might be inside would be good practice.

But if you sense something more going on, you can of course raise it with management and see what they say.

The toilets don’t have the cleaners cupboard.

OP posts:
Werehalfwaythere · 24/01/2026 11:25

latetothefisting · 24/01/2026 11:02

It's a bit confusing - so the changing rooms themselves are mixed cubicles, like a changing village, given you were there with your son? But there's only one toilet within the changing rooms which is marked female. In that case where do the males go when they need to use the loo?

YANBU in that the toilet should have a sign up saying "a cleaner of either sex might be present" or similar.

However YABU to suggest that a cleaner shouldn't be going in and out of a toilet! Regardless of how large the leisure centre is I doubt they have multiple cleaning staff available at all times!

As pps have said, what is he going to get the opportunity to see/do when someone is in a locked toilet cubicle that he isn't at equal or higher potential of being able to see walking through the changing room to get to the toilet?

If you were paying enough attention to keep track of how often he went in and out, how come you didn't notice whether anyone else came in or left?

Perhaps people were in there which was why he had to leave and come back - because he can't clean a cubicle if someone is in it!

Making judgements on how he looks is very U as well.

Boys and men use the male toilet located outside the changing room. It’s unusual as they’re doing renovations.

There are two lockable cubicles within one larger female toilets room, I hope that makes sense. Girls could be by the sinks alone with him, he could also forcibly enter a cubicle or access if a young child didn’t lock the door. I’m not saying he will - I’m saying it’s a risk.

Its the same reason why I don’t send my 5yr old into the men’s toilets alone - I don’t feel comfortable with a man being alone with my child in the toilets.

OP posts:
Werehalfwaythere · 24/01/2026 11:23

FlippyKiYayFlippyFlipper · 24/01/2026 10:53

So one cubicle male and one female? With a male attendant for both as they are in the same space?

I don’t think a male attendant is unreasonable in that situation but it should be signposted so parents are aware.

in the kindest way OP, do you have a history of abuse which is contributing to your feelings of unease?

No, it a female only toilet located within the chainring room area. No male cubicles there. Men and boys have to use the toilet located outside the changing rooms.

OP posts:
Werehalfwaythere · 24/01/2026 11:21

mylittledoggie · 24/01/2026 10:52

As a mother of a young girl who go’s swimming a lot.. this wouldn’t be something I would think about. Like how is the make cleaner gonna act or see anything different in the toilet to in the (i assume) unisex changing room?

My thinking was that he has lots of opportunities to be alone with young girls in the toilet. He can follow them in. I’m not talking about watching children, I’m talking about the potential of him acting in an inappropriate way in private, alone with young children.

In the changing room, there are more eyes to see what’s going on and usually parents close by in view.

OP posts:
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