Was I unreasonable to call an ambulance / was it my fault.

Agree it was a right call.

It became a medical emergency as you could not organise transport when you knew she needed hospital treatment.

And as @NewUserName2244 suggests contact pals.

This is a problem
“ when we have situations like this usually they would pre alert the hospital for recuss but because she was known there they will just turn up “
because they could have given the staff more time to organise if they has called ahead.

I am not suggesting the timing would have worked out any differently but my first question would be why did he change the process. And its careless remarks like that which trouble people long after the situation is resolved as you begin to double guess yourself

Hope everything is sorted now

I phoned for an ambulance for the first time ever last year. I'd been unable to walk and had severe pain for two days. When I got to the hospital, literally the first thing I was asked was why I had called an ambulance. It turned out I had leukaemia and also had to have an emergency splenectomy. I believe I was fairly close to dying.

It still rankles that that was the first thing I got asked. You totally did the right thing OP and like others have said, you should put a complaint in. I had so much going on at the time that I didn't, but it still bugs me a bit and I feel I've left it too late to do so now. It was a traumatic time and that wasn't a question that I felt needed to be asked at the start. When you phone for emergency services, you shouldn't be treated like an inconvenience.

I hope your DD is doing better now.

Christ that's terrible, it wasn't trivial it was bloody serious, I'm not one for complaining but I would in this case, that's so bad.

No, YWNBU to call an ambulance; she is clearly clinically complex and was seriously unwell.

Alongside that, I think there are probably also steps you can take to help yourself (and her) going forwards, especially give the current state of the NHS and ambulance response times etc:

I think perhaps if you have no partner / can’t drive I would be talking to my neighbours, explaining the situation and asking if they’d be willing to drive while you looked after her, if the situation ever arose again.

I also think you should talk to her clinical team about best protocol- is there a card she/you could carry, or a letter from the Consultant perhaps, to explain that a pre-alert to resus should always be made?

And lastly, the reality is probably that you will need to advocate loudly for what she needs on arrival, if this happens again, and present said card/letter.

I hope she’s doing better now.

Complain to the ambulance service. That paramedic is a dangerous set of hands. Also talk with PALS about how your daughter was received and how she would be in the future - do you have open access?

As for the guff about learning to drive - ignore it. They don’t understand and have made it clear they don’t intend to try so there’s no point engaging with it.

How is your daughter now OP?

It warrants a formal complaint but not through PALS. It needs to gondirecrly to the CEO of the Ambulance Service, copoed to your MP.

Is there some sort of klaxon here that goes off if it's suspected someone doesn't drive? It's so irrelevant! I can only assume passing a driving test is the only thing some of these finger wagging prats have ever achieved in their lives, the way they go on and on berating anyone who doesn't instantly leap in a car the minute a journey needs to be made. Obviously the op couldn't have driven, it would have been ludicrously dangerous. 🙄 Worrying that some of these dimwits are even allowed to be in charge of a car.

You aren't wrong.

You did the right thing.

I absolutely wouldn't have wanted to drive in your situation. You put your kid I the front and she pukes or grabs you, you're gonna crash. Put your kid in the back, you're not paying proper attention to the road. She's vomiting, spiked a fever so at risk of convulsions. No way are you safe driving and as her parent, you know which option is safer cos this ain't your first rodeo so please don't let the paramedic and posters on here question yourself.

It might be worth speaking to the taxi company and explaining the situation - you called, she started puking so he refused and you had to wait X amount of time for an ambulance. In that circus can they have an override to take you anyway with the agreement you'll have the £80 or whatever in cash in the event of an accident.

Yeah

Had to take my seriously unwell kid

And had to park a 10-15 minute walk away.

It's different if someone else is driving.

They can drop you off and then park.

But if you yourself are driving with a sick person.

How are they supposed to walk all that way?
My daughter gets SVTs. Her heart rate can suddenly go up over 200.

If she isnt better in 10-15 I have to take them to a and e.

Once had to wait hours for an ambulance when this is an emergency situation .

Had to drive her once because ambulance wasn't coming.
Then how am I supposed to get her in the a and e? If I have to park far away.

In the end she luckily reverted to normal rhythm outside the a and e while I was deciding if I should just risk a ticket or not. And decided to just go home and risk her not being checked over, the other option was making her walk for over 10-15 minutes depending on where I found the hospital parking.

What a horrible and insensitive post!

To be fair he may have just responded to a call where he was too late to save the child because he was playing free Uber or materni-taxi all shift. The ambulance service is under extreme pressure & paramedics know that people are dying every shift that they could have saved if they got their sooner. It doesn't excuse his attitude but hopefully helps you to understand from his point of view.

It's not your fault though & most parents would have prioritized their own child.

It might be worth making an emergency contingency plan for next time if it's a chronic illness. You prob need to drive & access a vehicle if you possibly can or try local taxi companies who will be more understanding. Our local taxi has taken mine with sick bags & lots of towels - they understand it's not a bug that's contagious & know I would pay if there was any mess.

@Sweetandsour11no more dangerous than waiting god knows how long for an ambulance. What if next time there isn’t one available for hours. You need to take responsibility here. It’s disgusting that we cannot rely on ambulances anymore but that’s the reality

@Isekaiedit literally is her job to learn to drive. Everyone knows ambulances cannot be relied upon now, she has a daughter with a PICC line and if she spikes a fever needs urgent care, yet hasn’t bothered to learn to drive! Unfortunately it’s the state of the NHS now and the OP has been quite short sighted by not learning to drive.

The paramedic who said not to call ahead made a bad call and needs further training. They clearly didn't understand the urgency of the situation. It is correct that you should put in a complaint to ensure that the paramedic learns from the experience, if you don't complain it will happen again with another child, potentially with even more serious consequences.

We’ve had ambulances to the house 3 times in the last few years. Twice they were amazing and once awful.
DH called an ambulance in the middle of the night, I was asleep. He knew he was having a DVT.
When they came they clearly thought he was a time waster. They were very annoyed I wasn’t coming, it was 3am and I had to primary aged children asleep upstairs and no one to call who didn’t have children alone themselves.
They then clearly told A&E he was a time waster and was ignored. Only when a different doctor came to see him hours later that something happened, the doctor was furious bloods hadn’t been taken and it was a DVT!
A year later I had to call for a different issue, couldn’t have been more different. He was much better when they arrived but they insisted he needed to go in for further tests, told me there was zero reason for me to come in the middle of the night and he would give my number for someone to ring and waking small children would be ridiculous. He was admitted for 3 days.

I’ve had to take DD in several times, all but once I’ve driven. I only wish you could actually drop off outside A&E, it’s all ambulance bays so I’ve had to support her from the car park.

No you weren’t wrong.
There are things I’ve been told to do
(for myself as a patient) by a hospital consultant I was sent to by my GP!
but the GP surgery haven’t got round to reading the mail!
(because sent to now (long) retired GP who was never ‘my’ gp, so why in his mailbox?).
I even include a copy of this letter to my sample but still get closely questioned? because clerks don’t read?! an A4 sheet stuck to eggcup size sample bottle 🙄.

Its as if we patients want to waste our lives mucking about in ambulances & a&e & handing in samples??? would we really make this stuff up just to fill our day? no we’re just doing as we’ve been told to do!

I hope OP, you & little child are feeling at least a little better.💐💐💐

That’s a bizarre thing to say. I’d guess the majority of patients using A and E are within 10 minutes’ drive. I’m 5 miles from mine but it’s 10 minutes at night. I don’t understand why the paramedic said that to you; it’s their system which defines priority based on the symptoms provided.

It must be so hard having a child with a chronic condition. I wouldn’t want to be relying on third party help in emergencies though, echoing other posters.

It's not her job to learn to drive.

If I'm by myself and my kid is really sick it's probably dangerous if I'm driving and she could collapse or anything could happen to ther in the car- if someone else is driving it's different because then you can keep an eye on your kid.

It's not Ops fault the ambulance service is under such pressure it's providing bad service.

And the Paramedic seemed very cocky and needs to work on their attitude towards sick patients.

If Op needed an ambulance she needed one and shouldn't have had to deal with such bad attitudes when her child is seriously unwell.

This might not have made any difference, but a few years ago DD had a condition that could have resulted in a similar situation. Her consultant wrote a letter for us to hold on to and present to the ambulance that basically said to ensure that they took us seriously and to call ahead if we ever needed them. In the event we never did, but that letter was a huge comfort. Perhaps you could ask for similar to be put in place?

Definitely go to PALs though.