Teen boys expensive taste in clothes!

Any other really ancient mumsnetters missing the olden days when the lads just wore Levi jeans or Wrangler cords and track suits were for when you did sports, if you did sports . . . ? . .

I hate to hear of mum's getting into debt or even worse going without food so their children can parade around in designer gear. It is our job as parents to say no. He is old enough to understand that by spending £90 on an outfit for him everyone else in the house has to go without. Ask him if he is comfortable with that. And why the heck do you think he needs 3 tracksuits?

I totally get you… I have a son at 14. It’s hard because the age he is you want him to fit in and if your sticking him in primark stuff he will get ripped to bits at school… unfortunately it’s the world we live in.. I got my son a Montirex track suit for Christmas and he only wears it for good. My son has just taken a stretch and needs new clothes but thanks fully lives his weekends in shorts.. all I can say is there are Turkish shops on fb that self “brands” maybe look there. I feel your pain.

Just say no did your parents buy you everything you wanted when you was a child. When I was a kid if id have asked for something that cost that much my parents would of laughed in my face and told me not to be so ridiculous.

I have a son your age, no way can I afford to buy £90 tracksuits so I don’t. He has supermarket brand joggers and sports direct 2 for £20 adidas shirts and whatever hoodies I’ve bagged in the sales all under £25!

nobody needs expensive clothes you need to cut your cloth accordingly!

Get him to bring his clothes to your house. Having 2 sets of clothes in two houses is daft. Get him to pack a holdall. He's trying it on.

Having been a teen boy in the 80s when designer labels first hit I know why your son wants to dress this way. However, me and my mates were from the poor end of the school catchment area so we didn't. You need to be honest with him about finances and that you don't have unlimited cash. It's the only way. Budget with him to work out what you can afford and get him to shop around for his clothes

DS 18 and DS15 both happy with £10 black pair of Asda jeans. Or cheap £10 joggers. Same cheap t shirts. But they'll occasionally see a band then buy a band t shirt.

They just couldn't care less about brands🤷‍♀️

I don’t understand this notion of ‘having clothes at his dads’. I kind of get it for younger kids who probably have more stuff and aren’t doing their own packing, but he can easily take the stuff he likes back and forth. Or does he have the sort of dad who buys him clothes and insists he leave them at his because he bought them?
Paying £90 for a good brand of tracksuit only for him not to wear it because he’s decided he doesn’t like it is unacceptable. I’d be telling him he’s getting nothing else if that’s how he’s going to treat the stuff you buy him.
Designer stuff is for Christmas and birthdays and/or to be saved up for. Does he get pocket money from you? Even at a fiver a week he could save for a few months and maybe you could match what he saves if that’s feasible and maybe dependent on stuff like behaviour and some chores.

I completely get your pain! Mine is 15 now and I’m a single parent too, no dad in the picture as he died 8 years ago so no help there. Tbf mine is pretty good at waiting for birthdays/xmas otherwise he’s happy for Vinted. Tbh he looks in there himself and will send me screenshots of what he’s found. He’s only got about 4 tracksuits which he wears in rotation with different T-shirts (2 Montirex, 2 monterrain). He’s 6’1 though so it’s £150 a tracksuit….summer is much better as it’s just shirts and T-shirt!
It’s hard when that’s what all their friends are wearing as you don’t want them to be the odd one out and get picked on. And yes they get taught to be kind and don’t listen to others blah di blah, but it doesn’t change the fact that their image is a BIG thing when they’re teens. Just do what you can mama and explain to him that sometimes he just has to wait until you can afford it or buy second hand.

I think what’s happened is he got a tracksuit was super pleased with it then sent pics to his mates or his Dad who said they didn’t like it and suddenly he didn’t like it.
Don’t fall in to this trap it will be £200 trainers next can you find someone who does the copies rather than paying out ridiculous amounts of money for a tracksuit that he will either ruin in a few weeks or grow out of same with the trainers.

If he can leave clothes you brought him at his dad's house he can leave clothes his dad buys him at yours. If his dad can afford to get him clothes then you shouldn't bankrupt yourself trying to do the same. And clothes should be for him to wear not held at different houses.

I feel your pain! But Vinted is definitely your friend, especially if he knows the exact style and size he needs

My DS is 12 and will only wear a grey Nike Tech tracksuit and a white Nike tee (autism adds to his extreme particularness, to be fair). He's now in men's XS which retails at £150! He has 2, both lightly worn from Vinted and coat around £50 each. He's angling for a 3rd, to tide him over the school hols. I've said I will gladly pay £50 again if he can find another preloved, but any more than that will have to be topped up from his savings/ pocket money.

Once they have a job, it does make things easier in that they will have to work x hours to buy something. I had a similar conversation with one of mine - I asked them if they were expecting me to pay for it or were they going to buy it themselves. They realised how much work they’d need to do to a) buy that item and b) replace the money they’d earned. Oddly enough the item was not bought.

I have a friend with 2 teenaged lads. One of her boys likes branded stuff and expensive labels. When it comes to this she says we can look at things online and she tells him I will buy you runners up to X amount. He gets money at various times.
He now looks on vinted and has found the names of good Chinese websites that do copies of branded stuff he likes.

Now he buys and sells stuff on vinted. He ordered extra stuff off website's and sold them on making money doing this. He learning that he can't have everything he wants and his money goes further on vinted.

I would tell his father that he needs to be able to bring clothes home from his house also. Tell his father about the attitude he is developing over the expensive clothes and if it continues you have to look for more maintenance off him. My feeling is that his father is buying him expensive stuff and letting him demand this to be the cool dad. This is not doing your son any favours as it will get worse as he gets older.

After what he did to the clothes you bought him at Christmas I would be telling your
son that he can't have everything he wants. He could have kept the labels on what you got him and you could have sold these on vinted. The stuff he no longer wares could be sold on vinted as well and this cash could be used for other things.

He also needs to learn the value of money. Your not been mean with him telling him the word no and he needs to be told about the cost of food, bills ect and they come before his expensive clothing.

My 14 yo is the same. But I get him everything from vinted. Not had a bad thing off there for him yet. Got 2 coats - Lyle and Scott and a Pull and Bear for a tenner each. He loves them

You are really not doing yourself any favours. Making him hide the fact that his clothes are from vinted? Giving in and buying him things you can't afford?

You need to change your ways. You are raising a brat.

Money aside, I wouldn’t give in based on his attitude. I have a child of a similar age and can afford to buy him the type of clothes he wants but he recognises how quickly he grows and chooses to buy things oversized so that he gets longevity out of them and it doesn’t feel wasteful. Your son needs to learn the value of money.

I don’t want to be a Debbie downer, but in a year or so he’ll be in men’s clothes, and that £90 tracksuit will cost £150. And you’ll buy him a new one, and two months later it’ll be halfway up his shins. It’s never ending.

Tell him that you can’t afford a designer wardrobe for him. If he wants to wear expensive gear, then he’ll have to wear it home from his Dad’s. If his dad refuses, he will know that his dad is being an arse.

This was the first thing o found when o googled how to teach your children about money. I’m sure there are lots of free resources online too . Even just googling it brings up a wealth of information.
Teach your son that his value is not in the clothes he wears but the person he is and how he treats others. It’s difficult when you can’t have what your friends have but it teaches you to be very careful with money and gives you a drive to succeed.

You need to take control back. What you can’t afford he can’t have. If my mum couldn’t afford it I couldn’t have it. I was grateful I had clothes to wear. He sounds spoilt rotten. My son like a nice tracksuit but I couldn’t possibly afford his taste for full wardrobe. He accepts that and knows he can have some of what he wants. He doesn’t refuse to wear the clothes he has.

https://smartkidseducation.org/?fbclid=IwZnRzaAPi4wdleHRuA2FlbQIxMQBzcnRjBmFwcF9pZAo2NjI4NTY4Mzc5AAEelrs_ucoL2jX5_SxOEHbaLScJRu-YAnxML_8olz9yIPfuV3iymJrxukeCyT0_aem_b6Bt6H6Uf7hxrfM8nK5Uyw

He can’t have what he wants quite simply. He wants to try and find a part-time job or scour around on Vinted, let him go for it. But why would you entertain this little prince’s demands? Stop before you well and truly create a monster.