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Not Letting Nephews Stay Over When Parents Move In

205 replies

Beelineshmeeline · 24/01/2026 09:16

Basically, I split with ex last year and now have 50/50 shared custody with ex. My parents and I aren't that close but they decided to sell their house and look for a new place a lot further away, it's a big move and they're looking for the home to retire in so they're not in a rush to get the next one, they wanna take their time. They asked to come stay with me and I said yes because I'm currently mostly living alone and it seemed like it might help both of us.

Problem is my parents have my brothers sons a lot usually, at least over night a couple of nights a week and they're usually there through the day quite often. Its been very unbalanced and my parents rarely had my DC. So they're in the process of moving stuff into my house and my brother rang yesterday asking where my nephews would be sleeping when they came over because there's not enough rooms. I said they wouldn't be, they've never stayed over and I don't have the space.

He went off on one, I spoke to my parents who said they agreed and said they'd already explained to him they wouldn't be able to babysit anymore but this isn't enough for my brother and his wife who have called me again this morning asking what they're supposed to do for childcare and said its just spite that I won't let them stay over.

We're not a close family. My brother never bothers with my DC or me, I don't have the space, and in the selfish ways, I honestly do not want my house filled with children. I agreed to let my parents stay, not become a makeshift daycare. I know it's ridiculous but I'm going through separation, my child is disabled, it's already a lot to take 2 more people in when we're not close. Adding my nephews to the picture several times a week just isn't happening. I'd have assumed they'd have found other options considering my parents plan on moving several hours away at least!

OP posts:
TrustedTheWrongFart · 24/01/2026 09:25

Surely your parents can provide daytime childcare at your DBs house?

Overnights seem to be more of a nicety rather than a necessity, so DB can do without for the short term.

HellonHeels · 24/01/2026 09:25

And your brother can FRO!

HellonHeels · 24/01/2026 09:24

Perhaps it's best your parents make other arrangements?

You say it will help you as well as them, but I'm not seeing any benefit to you so far.

LightDrizzle · 24/01/2026 09:24

Well you are not being at all unreasonable and I wonder whether it hasn’t already occurred your parents that this hiatus between houses creates a perfect windbreak for them to perhaps have a reset on the childcare front. Your brother sounds like he’s a bully. Two overnights a week?!

Sanasaaa · 24/01/2026 09:21

Don't give it a moment more thought, housing two adults for an unknown amount of time will be bad enough.

Decline your brother's demands that someone else figure out his childcare issues for him.