Not every symptom, feeling or reaction is caused by peri/menopause

Completely agree too much is blamed on peri. When I was 42 I had terrible itchiness that went on for a few months. I was going through a lot of stress at the time and reading so much about peri on here/in the press I felt sure it was just one of those things and didn't even consider going to a doctor. A couple of years later found a small lump, went to the GP, turned out I had stage 4 lymphoma. My tumour was 10x10cm and had broken through my sternum. I didn't have any other lymphoma symptoms, but a lot of them can be mistaken for peri symptoms - hot sweats, fatigue etc. Whenever I see posts mentioning things like that on here I always jump in and share my experience, because you never know if someone else could be in the same position.

I know its hormonal because its the exact same way I felt when I was on certain types of birth control pills when I was younger. Its clearly the hormones because as soon as I came off them the anger disappeared.

In answer to your question - yes, my hormones have been tested and they were all over the place so yes, I can be sure this is a hormonal cause. Additionally, once I went on HRT I felt much calmer. Therefore, I have concrete evidence that this was caused by my hormones.

I am finding it more than a bit strange people seem to think its unbelievable that hormones may affect mood and behaviour- its very well known the effects PMT can have on mood and its why many women struggle just before their period starts. Thats not even mentioning Post Natal depression (or in severe/extreme cases, post natal psychosis) which is known to be caused by hormonal fluctuations after giving birth.

Articles here discussing how hormones directly affect mood: How your hormones might be controlling your mind - BBC Future

How Estrogen Influences Emotions and Mood

Estrogen, Stress, and Depression: Cognitive and Biological Interactions - PMC

Psychological Changes at Menopause: Anxiety, Mood Swings, and Sexual Health in the Biopsychosocial Context - Neelima Deshpande, T.S. Sathyanarayana Rao, 2025

Perimenopause: From Research to Practice - PMC

Women are 40% more likely to experience depression during the perimenopause | UCL News - UCL – University College London

Yes, but medical guidelines is that this is not done in women over 45 as it is unreliable - your hormone levels may yoyo across the month and one measurement tells you nothing. Guidance for GPs is that if a woman aged 45 or over is in your surgery complaining of hot flushes, insomnia, anxiety or anything else which is potentially menopause related, skip the blood tests and try HRT.

For women under 45 yes do the bloods but they also have to rule out things like thyroid issues which can also cause insomnia or anxiety.

Yes, peri/menopause can be tested for and diagnosed. FSH is tested, it goes high when the ovaries are not producing enough hormones.

Or even if you are in mid to late 40s or early 50s and have had a hysterectomy (like me) there are some often very physical symptoms which indicate dropping estrogen. Hot flushes are the classic one. Those didn't trouble me too much but after not having a UTI for about 15 years, I had 3 within 6 months. Those were directly related to lack of estrogen and vaginal atrophy / genitourinary syndrome of menopause which causes dryness, itchiness, lower abdominal pain, increased UTIs etc. All gone with some topical estrogen.

Of course it can be tested for. Declining hormones aren't imaginary. Blood tests very clearly show fluctuating hormones. Typically however, if you meet the profile (a woman in her mid ish 40s experiencing changes to periods) then doctors assume you're peri, simply because you almost certainly are.

The studies are increasingly showing it really is a very big deal for some people https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c9qpp1g5ylvo

I don't mean to be rude at all, but how do you, or anyone, I'm not just singling out you specifically, know that that's perimenopause? Lots of conditions can cause disinhibition and anger. Is peri menopause something that can be tested for and diagnosed?

It IS different though! I used to be very much a people pleaser, since going through peri menopause I am no longer able to control my anger when previously I used to suppress it and push it down. Therefore, my rage manifests now in ways I am unfamiliar with so it absolutely makes a difference. In some ways it's weirdly liberating because I no longer give a fuck like I used to when I was trying to please everyone.

My own example- some guy in our local Tesco car park recently swore at my teenage son for no reason. I absolutely went for him in an aggressive, cursing furious tirade. He looked absolutely terrified and got in his van and drove off silently and as quickly as he could. I shocked myself. I never would have acted like that before.

Until you have experienced an all consuming hormonal anger you really dont get how it takes you over so I think you are being unreasonable here.

I don't think that we shouldn't talk about it or consider it, it's just that when a particular issue becomes fashionable, same goes for all sorts of things not just peri menopause, then people can end up attributing everything that happens to it and may end up missing the real issue

I think with peri/menopause there is a variety and severity of symptoms that not all women get. Some women have symptoms so severe they have to take time off work while others breeze through with very mild symptoms. Previous generations didn't talk about it and retired quietly whereas there are different pressures on this generation of women, it takes two incomes to maintain a household now, then there's supporting children through uni. Women need to be in the workplace longer so those that suffer difficult symptoms need to find their way through and changed social mores allow talking about it now without the shame our mother's and grandmothers feared. HRT is a game changer, couldn't do my job without it.

It's just as the pre-menstrual thing, banded around for attention or as an excuse.
Nothing wrong with saying you're not feeling well etc, as yes, people struggle, but so do people with all sorts of ailments.
You don't hear people going on about their Asthma, limited mobility, or other chronic illnesses every single time.

Go and see a doc or bring it up when relevant. It's when it's brought up for no reason.

I have a friend who bangs on and on, sends me videos of "experts" discussing it and spends hours on the videos/podcasts.

Right ? I almost felt attacked recently , I turned 44 a few days ago and I’m 22 weeks pregnant. I never had peri menopause symptoms and I got pregnant on first try ( 4th child ) but 2 of my fried where adamant I must have had symptoms and that the pregnancy now is masking them , but the reality is prior to it I didn’t at all . Then one kept saying but you sleep badly and you are always anxious and rushing around …. I’m a full time mum working with 3 kids including a sen one and a husband that’s my day to day the last 20 years lol

its Fucking tedious

Unfortunately this is the case with any long term condition. Overweight? Diabetes? Fibro? MS? Menopause? Then yep all your issues are because of that.
I remember my health visitor saying my son was teething. Which I soon learned was the catchall for anything that couldn’t obviously be explained y anything else. The health visitor time me this at three weeks - my son didn’t cut his first tooth til he was 13 months old.
Medicince is often an educated guess - it is not an exact science.

And this is exactly why I find it a depressing topic.

It's great to know that if I start struggling I know what to ask and that my GP will be helpful (and I know not everyone can say that), but much like death, I don't want to spend time with friends talking about something that is inevitable and quite likely to be utterly shit but in an entirely unpredictable way.

I remember a thread on here from someone in their early 30s asking how to prepare for it. What a waste of being young, I thought, preparing for something that can take a thousand different forms.

I couldn't engage with someone like this. It's dehumanising and I hate the idea that as a mid-40s woman I'm seen by some as a walking bag of perimenopausal symptoms rather than an actual person.

I also think it's bloody depressing as a fixation. Like people who love talking about their ailments.

When menopause happened I had out of control hot flushes for a year, they have subsided and are not as extreme now. I very suddenly developed rage, over nothing, I couldn't control it, I felt insane, and I lost literal handfuls of hair at the same time.
I also couldn't sleep.
I didn't recognise myself.
I didn't take HRT, for health reasons, and now four years on my symptoms have settled, I guess I am used to not having oestrogen now.
For me being able to read about menopause really helped.
I can no longer tolerate alchohol, I have a sleep routine that works but my joints are knackered and I have vaginal atrophy.
Menopause was brutal, the only positive is I no longer have heavy flooding and clots, and I thought they were normal.

I disagree completely that peri menopause is blamed for everything.

If anything, what happens is that women start to notice things that previously they just ignored/put up with because yes, peri menopause does seem to stop them from just ignoring it/not paying attention. But the underlying reality is still real.

What was interesting about my peri-menopausal rage wasn't that I was angry about x or y - x or y were perfectly reasonable things to be angry about - but that my anger was so insanely out of control. And even as I was experiencing it, I knew that the rage was OTT. And Ii've heard this from many women. Which is also why, I believe, so many posts start with, "I'm 46 so perhaps it's just peri..." because we KNOW perfectly well that 10 years previously, we'd have been a bit irritated, ranted over a glass of wine with a friend and moved on. Or not even done that. Perhaps we'd have felt guilty for even being irritated or like we didn't have a right to be annoyed.

When I went to see my doctor I told her about ll the things going on in my life. I asked her if this was just peri menopause or other issues. And her response was that basically, in her opinion, I had a lot going on and reasons to be struggling but that my hormones certainly weren'thelping. She was right. HRT helped me sleep better, controlled the rage better, removed the feeling of being completely overwhelmed. Did mean that everything was immediately perfect.

What does 'peri' even mean? Is there any clear definition? 15 years or so ago you never heard it mentioned, yet now as you say it's everywhere.

I'm old enough to remember when PMT was the female hormonal ailment du jour. Any woman under 50 who was a bit snappy or impatent was clearly 'pre-menstrual'. You still hear this, but 'peri' seems to be more in vogue now.

The obsession with labelling isn’t going anywhere quickly. I feel the same way about autism and ADHD self diagnosis. It’s rampant!

What age is it when people start saying “is it perimenopause?” I haven’t had it yet and Im 35.

As a 47 year old in perimenopause, I get more people blaming any ailment I have on the fact I take Mounjaro.

Haven't read the whole thread but I really relate to this.
I'm 41 and feel like perimenopause is the main topic of conversation of every woman I speak to, especially with loads of symptoms we've all always had being linked to it.
I don't think I have any symptoms but it gets me down a bit, having this sword of Damacles having over me that supposedly menopause is going to be hell. Either it will be and worrying for years in advance won't change that or it won't be and I'll have wasted energy worrying.