Not every symptom, feeling or reaction is caused by peri/menopause

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/male-menopause/

And yes, they can develop osteoporosis.

https://www.bupa.co.uk/newsroom/ourviews/low-testosterone-men

Do men age 50+ get osteoporosis, Alzheimer's, incontinence and aging skin because of their low hormones?

Most women don't realise that the diseases of ageing are down to low hormones - osteoporosis, heart disease, Alzheimer's, incontinence which HRT protects us from and a nice side effect is skin doesn't age as much as those not on HRT.

I ended a relationship recently because he blamed me standing up for myself on my hormones. It wasn’t my hormones, though I do think as we get into our 40’s we tolerate less and stand up for ourselves more?

I also think GP’s blame every thing we go into see them with on peri or ‘age related wear and tear’.

No one really prepares us for getting older and the we’re symptoms that come with it. The hot sweats, the gaining weight in weird places, growing hair in weird places, things moving south and dry skin. I didn’t watch my mum go through it as she had a hysterectomy in her early 40’s and was plunged into full menopause and given HRT, she handled it very well. I also had a hysterectomy but kept my ovaries, they are now failing. I am unsure what symptoms are peri, which are ‘just getting older’ but I kind of wish I was more prepared and I wish more people had talked about it.

Is it needless pathologisation, though? Why would we want to tell those who suffer severely that they really should try to get on with it, take HRT and try not to join too many support groups that might be overly obsessive about it?

Wouldn't that be the opposite and going too far the other way, dismissive of how awful it can be?

Oh and the fact some poor women can't take any HRT for whatever reasons doesn't mean others should berate them for not taking any. It's definitely their prerogative to not take any if they want.

It's awful to suffer so terribly with it though.

I've had horrible periods and my period pains when younger were very debilitating, really painful down my legs and made me double over in pain.

My friend at work never had any, so couldn't understand why I took time off work being sick with it regularly. I told her that I wasn't worried about labour as the pains were pretty much on a par.

Similarly, my perimenopause symptoms have been quite awful too over the past 5 years, to the point where I am absolutely dreading being in menopause completely. I've always been unlucky and unfortunate enough to be very sensitive to hormonal fluctuations, and I know that my hormones after the birth of my youngest daughter exacerbated my movement disorder symptoms too. I remember thinking how I felt so dreadful physically that I felt on.the verge of a breakdown. And, looking back now, I realise that some of my perimenopause symptoms are a milder version of what I went through.

Absolutely hormonal transitions are terrible for some women. Similarly, some women sail through it too. And equally, there are some women who can't fathom how affected by hormones people can be.

I wondered which way this thread would go as I came to say that I'm sure that DP thinks every outburst is because of my depleting hormones when I'm pretty sure they're not.

It is mental though, how this part of our lives is such a big cunt and no one ever talked about it to prepare the other generation.

Imagine going through it in the early 1900's, well... Right up until recently really (god bless Davina!) before women started to talk to one another about the changes in themselves.
I became a completely different person before hrt. It was absolutely horrendous!
Hrt was a life saver for us.

My mum sailed through hers, pretty much. I'm like her in so many ways; except that one

A friend of mine talked at great length about her 'perimenopause' symptoms of being exhausted, brain fog, irritable, anxious/depressed, not wanting sex etc. Then another friend pointed out to her that those are also very much the symptoms of being extremely overworked and having a lazy, borderline abusive husband. That was two years ago. Since then, she's left the husband and changed her job to one that doesn't have an insane commute, and lo and behold, she is no longer 'perimenopausal'. She never was. She was just really, really fucking miserable, but had been led to believe that if you feel really fucking miserable in your mid-40s, perimenopause is always to blame.

I have another friend who went to the doctor with aching joints, fatigue, headaches, itchy skin and brain fog and immediately got put on HRT because she was 47. Two years later they discovered she actually has an autoimmune condition that needs careful managing.

I think it's great that it's talked about these days, so women can be aware that what they're experiencing might be related to changing hormones. But there needs to be balance - I know women who are scared of menopause because of all they've heard.

It can be very bad - i knew someone who committed suicide because of it, and others who've had very bad symptoms. And yet others who have few symptoms at all. So there needs to be balance.

I agree that not everything should be automatically assumed to be because of peri. I have not been sleeping well, but that's my body's go-to stress response, and has been since school, plus I have not been very good about trying to fix it recently with regular bedtimes etc. It is important to remember often that life can just be shit at times - and that it's an age when both men and women are more likely to be diagnosed with other chronic conditions and diseases. Hormonal changes won't help, but they may not be the cause.

I can't agree, given that there are about 40 symptoms associated with peri menopause.

My mother thought she managed OK, until my experience, and that of my sister, made her realise otherwise. Women of her generation and older were just expected to get on with stuff, whereas raised awareness has liberated women from that kind of shit.

I'm very glad that things will be even better again by the time my daughters come to experience peri/menopause.

That's the opposite of me so I can't really be of help, but I just googled 'high haemoglobin' and it listed pretty much all of your symptoms... Menopause doesn't cause any of those blood test results to my knowledge (but to give the GP the benefit of the doubt, maybe they were all only slightly out of range). Maybe try for a second opinion or consider going private?

He did a blood test and said it showed inflammation which would explain the joint pain.

These bloods were out of range.
Too high:
Haemoglobin A1c
Red blood cell distribution width
Mean cell volume
Mean cell haemoglobin level

Too low:
Red blood cell count

Tested for type 2 diabetes but not for thyroid.

I was told to ignore all of the above results as it's probably menopause related.

I work in an office so it's not like I'm rushing around all day. By the time I go to work and cook an evening meal, I'm absolutely exhausted. I've had to give up the gym as I just haven't got the energy to go anymore.

The joint pain is annoying. My left hand is so weak today. I've just struggled to open a Vaseline lip balm tin as I couldn't grip it properly.

Apparently this is normal, menopausal and just part of getting old. Fair enough if I was in my 70's but not at 48!

Commercialisation of menopause : irritating and at worst, highly misleading. Increased awareness and conversations about it : brilliant. If it takes annoying some women in order to help other women to better access care, hrt, support and relief from what can be hideous effects of peri/meno, so be it. I wish that I hadn't entered peri unknowingly as I did. It was the worst time in my life. The public discourse is empowering IMO.

I know the type 😒

This! I have one colleague who often turns up to meetings having not done a single thing she’s supposed to have done, announcing, “menopausal ADHD woman here!”

Yanbu. The peri/menopause can be rough, but like many things there are steps yiu can take to improve things. My issue is twofold 1) the assumption thats its menopause related could lead to other issues, relatively easily solved i.e iron deficiency, being overlooked 2) The amount of people who use it as an excuse for being a MASSIVE twat. You are still responsible for your actions/seeking help, its not a get out of jail free card to excuse appalling behaviour.

That said, it is a challenging time of life, no doubt about it.

Did they at least do a blood test @YorkshirePuddingsGreatestFan? I've separately had low iron and various electrolyte deficiencies and they would explain a lot of the symptoms. And have they checked thyroid etc? Pretty poor if they've dismissed it as menopause without any other checks, if so I would seek a second opinion

I don't think it's unbelievable at all that hormones affect behaviour, it's just that lots of things can cause similar symptoms, and so I worry that women will just assume every new symptom they get from late 30s onwards is peri menopause and not get themselves checked out to make sure it's not something more serious. It's not just peri menopause, with any condition that becomes well known and 'trendy' for want of a better word, there will be a lot of people self diagnosing it and potentially missing something important, like @namechange0998776554799000 who turned out to have cancer.

I'm fine now thanks. Luckily lymphoma can be very treatable, even at stage 4

I'm unwell at the moment. I'm already on a high level of HRT due to having a hysterectomy and ovaries out in my early 40's.

I wrote this list and went to the GP last week:

headaches
excessive fatigue
bladder weakness
broken sleep
joint pain throughout my body
joint pain worse on my left side with weakness in left hand, leg and foot
swollen legs and feet
feeling unsteady on feet
pins and needles in hands and feet
severe dry eyes
dry mouth
vaginal dryness
hair thinning
feeling cold all the time
feeling hungry all the time

GP: yeah that's menopause, you just have to deal with it

Menopause is an easy one to blame - as is obesity, smoking and drinking.

Thanks for saying this: its so true. I hope you are better now?

I had a somewhat similar experience in that I presented with a rash and other symptoms and assumed it was menopause so asked to increase my HRT. The GP sent me to be tested for a number of blood cancers.

Thankfully I was clear and it turns out to be a rare but benign and treatable condition but the GP said women sometimes turn a blind eye to symptoms because they assume its all menopause related.

We should treat menopause seriously but we should stop automatically attributing everything in the world to it.