Can you work nights with no childcare?

This. I work with many men who can’t be flexible can’t do drop offs can’t stay in the country can’t predict their patterns

amazingly, I, in the same job, manage 🙄IMO these men just can’t cope with much, and certainly don’t want to do the drudge so happy to leave to wifey.

OP you’ve gone from a job which at least part funded a nanny to saying you need to do a min wage night shift rather than put your child in nursery? This is quite disturbing to be honest. What is behind this?

If you don’t need the money it’s not worth the stress. Won’t be long until they start nursery and school before you know it.
How much were you making after paying the childcare? ( rhetorical question)
Unless of course you feel you need your own income because your DH is controlling with money? ( In which case that’s another issue altogether) . There’s a few twighlight shifts at supermarkets- few hrs in the evenings? Same for Care typically.

How did you lose your job ? Bit mean of your employer to finish you because of nanny issues

What’s the point in a single or 2 minimum wage night shift? Where’s the benefit? Sounds shit for the family, shit for you, already a childcare headache and not going to benefit your finances. You said your husband earns well. The upside to that is that this can be very simple - just have some time off. Reassess in a year when your younger is maybe more resilient health-wise and nursery feels safer?

You can’t be serious!

Your contribution is finanical: if you werent caring for yournchildren you'd need to pay for nursery or childcare. Contributions aren't all financial either, is this your own worry or have you been made to feel worried about your contribution by your husband?

You need to think about your childcare contribution to the household as the “work” element in the family.
I totally get your POV though, I hated the brief period not earning my own money.
Have a proper discussion with your DH about this. Taking a temporary break from work may be the best solution but only if this doesn’t leave you financially vulnerable in the future or unable to pick up your career later. For example he could pay into a pension scheme for you while you are a SAHM.

I work nights.I’ve stayed up after my last shift before and survived but I wouldn’t recommend it. If you don’t need to do it, why would you. Give it a few years until your little one is at school and look for something in line with school hours

I do nights and have similar age kids and have even had the unreliable nanny

i think it’s very hard to do what you’re suggesting. The minute they are 3 can they go to school preschool? Much cheaper and then the wraparound is the same for both. And then do what suits around that work wise. I am exhausted between nights in my 30s and definitely at the end of them

To be honest, though, it doesn't necessarily come from this generation. It might be the MiL/Mum who 'naturally' gets more involved, possibly due to the fact of her being the primary care giver to her own children.

I know in my family, my Dad, vaguely wafts in to read a story before going for another nap, while my Mum is up at the crack of dawn (actually, before the kids) wanting to play.

It angers me no end. But after many conversations about you 'get out what you put in' with kids, I'm done with it all.

However, my FIL sits and plays with the kids for hours and my MiL is entirely fixated on her own schedule and is mostly out of the house running errands (not british).

What’s the point of men having kids if they’re too busy with their very important jobs to be able to look after their own children regularly.

This is the second thread I’ve read this week where the husband isn’t able to reduce his hours, do school runs, works away at the drop of a hat etc and the OP says this is non negotiable because of the industry he works in.
What the hell is going on where women are still putting up with spouses who seem to have very well paid jobs but haven’t got the balls negotiate more family friendly working hours to do their bit as a parent? It’s like we slipped back to the 1950s!
The issue shouldn’t be ‘how can I earn a bit of money when my DH won’t look after his own kids’, but ‘what’s the best way of sharing the care of our kids when we both work’.
Mothers, raise the bar!

You are contributing by looking after the children and running the house. What’s the point if earning money if you have to spend it on a nanny?

You are contributing you staying home and caring for the kids saves thousands in childcare costs and allows him to build his career to pay for things. He cant have the career he has if you are not at home so i hope he appreciates you.

Yes, you do need to sleep. You cannot function safely when your mind and body are exhausted……add an active 2 yr old and it amplifies the need for you to be able to think, react and be alert!

Does he feel terrible not contributing to any childcare?

Agree! perfectly put. You're both working and contributing. You're just not being paid for it. and right now you are saving the family money by not having the nanny

Can you stay home for a few years, then maybe look for a term time only job.nights are punishing .my friend was a nurse and did 2 nights. Very tiring though.even though her mum helped her a lot so she could rest.everyone needs sleep .DC are tiring!

One or two nights per week might be possible. Can you find evening jobs so that it doesn’t cancel the full night? Mine is in nursery but ill all the time, husband is no help either, so I started to work from 8pm-midnight on most days to catch up on hours I lose during the day.

Honestly, I would normally be the first to say that getting a job would be better for you and your family, but you seem to be putting yourself in very stressful situations just for the sake of having a job, unnecessarily.

If you don't need the money but need the childcare, working nights on a minimum wage job seems bonker.

You would be much better off looking for a part-time admin job from home, self-employed opportunities, or a remote training that will give you more choices long term once your kids are in school.

All of those things can be done from home, and would be more compatible with childcare until your youngest get some funded hours.

Work from home; I used to make + repair clothes & soft furnishings, internal decorating, graphics & artwork or gardening all for local folks. There’s loads of stuff you can make money at & have your child with you.

Yes, in my experience night shifts got a whole lot harder when I reached my 30s. No way could I get away with not sleeping afterwards, and they just made me feel generally ill the whole time. Switched to a day-only job.

I you don’t need to take paid work, don’t. You are massively contributing by looking after the children and saving the need for spending on childcare.

I’ve worked night shifts over the years. I occasionally had to stay up after my last shift for the day but I’ll be honest it’s not pleasant. You might be able to do this as a one off and drag yourself through by keeping busy but not consistently. You definitely couldn’t stay up and watch a child if you had to be back in nights that night. It’s just not really a feesable plan.

You are just making life unnecessarily difficult for yourself thinking this way

Why ist looking after your home and children while your DH is at work not making a financial contribution? Could he do his job without the nanny or you caring for them? Im guessing not.