Can you work nights with no childcare?

No. Is the simple answer to your question.

this.

This is a you problem.

Your child should come first. You are contributing by providing childcare.

I’ve done night shifts and then straight into the next day without sleep. Trust me, it is not possible. Even one night a week. You will become ill and really miserable.

If your husband is not in work on a weekend why not look for a daytime few hours job then?

I know people are saying if you don't need the money don't bother working but then you get the reverse on Mumsnet "you should never rely on a man for money, you should have your own" .

I appreciate that some people have no choice, but night work is a factor in getting cancer. I would avoid if at all possible.

And what is this unicorn job that replaces your old job, where you earn the same money as a weekly job.? Because I would love to do it!

OP I’ve worked nights for over a decade…and while you probably could. Aside from sleep. I think there will be dilemmas here you haven’t thought of -

1. what happens if DH isn’t home on time for you to go to shift? (Mine does long hours plus corporate entertaining, often unplanned and necessary for progression)
2. does it leave him with night time responsibility’s - does he want that? Can he always reliably do it (or does he sometimes need to be on the laptop overnight)?
3. how would the mornings work? Night shifts tend to end at 8am but handover? Commute time? Would there not be a school run and a care gap for the littlest? While I’m guessing it’s part independence - I do wonder if trying to work nights now, would end up causing more difficulties for you. As a parent to a non sleeper and someone that still occasionally does nights - doing them as a mum is totally different than in my twenties. I hate the lack of patience I have the next day, the mood dip, the poor food (yes it can all be manageable) but I do find I’m different and more playful with my kids when not on call.

That’s madness. And I say that as someone with DC who works full time with. Just chat to your DH and suggest that you don’t go back to work until you both feel your youngest is ready for nursery. When she’s 3, it will be fine if your wage just covers the childcare. She will need the socialisation before school anyway.

Have you ever worked nights? I have and if you don’t get any sleep you will feel dreadful,
you will also risk falling asleep at the wheel of the car, your reflex reactions
will be as slow as if you were drunk.
It would be dangerous and neglectful imo.

My mum worked nights for a few years, but us kids were older. School was fine but holidays we had to be very quiet until about 1pm so she could sleep. Can't do that with a toddler am afraid.

Is there anything you can do WFH?

What I found with my 2 it was that the DC2 wasn’t getting any sicknesses after starting nursery, as he has had them all from DC1 before- therefore, got immunity at a younger age. Some difference between children- 3 years.

You are supporting (just not financially )
You are allowing him to work . Can you both discuss the situation and see what he thinks about you taking some time off .
why don’t you keep her him untill the summer or when they turn 3 ?

Then possibly do a job you can work from home a couple of days a week .

It's not that easy as it looks like. Night shift hits differently. You'll be fine for month or two and then you'll be completely knackered. I spent 5 years on night shift 11pm-7am . Every single person who had this kind of idea ( an hour nap and looking after kids)- resigned after first few months.

No, it isn't "perectly feasible" in all cases. In my situation it would have cost more to employ a nanny than what I was earning.
And nurseries just aren't available to cover the 12 hour shifts NHS workers need.
I'm well aware plenty of families have 2 working parents and I've worked full time for 31 years.

You say it’s so you feel you need to contribute, Contribute by getting yourself ready for the workplace once they are at school. Enable a higher earning career with qualifications or stay relevant. This is what I would do depending on where I was in my career that I gave up:

if you have a skill from your old job that you can market as an online course you could use nap time to create this. There are platforms. This won’t earn very much at all but it will give you something for the CV for the gap in employment, might be fun and might help with the redefinition of you as a person. You could start by doing it for free and then use patreon.

or opposite, use nap time to get a qualification online in something related to your career or a career you want. Not a degree, but there are professional career exams that you can sit for £1-2k so long as you study from online materials/books rather than a taught class. You might fail. But then you don’t need to tell anyone.

If you don’t need the money then don’t inflict night working on yourself and the family.

FGS. You are contributing by looking after 2 little people who need a mother. You already have a job. What better contribution could you make? Different if you need the money and really must work but you don't. I don't understand thus attitude.

I did nights whilst my DC were very small. I used to work two split nights a week. I would maybe manage an hour during the day whilst they were napping. It was grim, and I don’t know how I got through!
I had to be flexible with work, I wasn’t able to have set shifts. I couldn’t find any flexible childcare and had no family help, so it was a necessity for me to do it. My DH worked during the week.

If it isn’t essential for you to work, I absolutely wouldn’t put yourself through it! It won’t be long until your kids are old enough for preschool/school.

Why are you minimising the role at home you are currently doing? It’s a massively important role.

Nights are extremely draining, the sleep you lose, you will never make up. Feeling grumpy and irritable post nightshift on insufficient sleep becomes normal behaviour!

how Much is full time nursery?
how much is wrap around care?
how much was the nanny?
how much is a cleaner?
how much is a PA if you were to pay someone to organise the house and do admin for you both?

that's how much you contribute financially @Pixieknowle with your unpaid labour so your husband can do his job.

its wil to me you are considering having no sleep one day a week whilst your husband has also had kids, but the expectation is his life doesn’t change ? What would happen if you weren’t there? I suppose he would get a different job? Or pay someone a lot to do all the childcare.

thats your contribution. It’s partnership. Stop underselling your role and the role of being a mother. Sounds like you’ve had a stressful time so a reset for a while with you at home seems sensible.

If you don’t need the money and aren’t trying to keep a career going just stay home until the youngest goes to preschool and get a part time job then, moving to more hours once youngest is in school.

There is a lot of value in having a parent stay home in the early years of finances allow. Night shifts and toddlers won’t mix well if you haven’t got childcare the next day.

@Pixieknowle Anything you could do in your twenties is far different when you get older and adding kids into the mix means it's impossible. Stop seeing contributions as purely financial, you are raising children.

You'd be mad to do this. You have a child under two and have lost your job, your DH earns good money. It's absolutely OK not to contribute financially for a while, looking after the kids is your contribution. Wait for something more feasible to come along.

He can only contribute so much financially because you’re looking after both of your children. If you were not around he would have to pay £4k a month for nurseries and wrap around babysitting. You need to remember the monetary value of what you’re doing. And you need to keep remembering this value even when the kids go to school because presumably when you do start working it won’t be in a competitive big money industry with long non family friendly hours because you’ll still need to work around after school clubs and be available to pick up when sick. YOU being primary carer is a huge huge sacrifice.

With 3 children under 4 it’s possible that the childcare bill would have exceeded the pp’s salary, so yes - it might have been a necessity. But also, I think she was just trying to reassure the op that looking after young children at home is still a valid contribution. No need to pull her down on that.