Can you work nights with no childcare?

I’ve done it : 2 waking night shifts, no childcare, 6 month old baby to deal with when not working…. I was mid 20s tho….now age 47…. Not a chance !
obvs if it was eat or don’t eat I’d do it … but a choice ? No !! One night you might be able to manage but your going to need to recoup that sleep somewhere !

if you don’t need the money, you’ll be a much better mother if you stay at home until the little one is at school. Then look for something part time. Or maybe you could do something remote and part time?

The most valuable thing in your life are your children, you need to realise this to asses your working arrangements, ie you don’t need to work there is zero point working yourself to the ground. You will need sleep, your marriage will likely come under pressure.

breathe, take the next couple of years off, bring up your children then go back to work if need be.

I have done this in the past it is a killer! The only 1 shift sounds good in theory but you end up being up well over 24 hours. I used to be dead 💀 on my feet and falling asleep with the kids.
I could make it work on a Friday night if hubby had the kids for a few hours on the Saturday morning whilst I slept till 12-1 . But even that was hard.

It is doable part time. I done it for years, we were ships in the night and the kids routine was messed up, DH wasn’t getting much sleep on the nights I was working.
If you can avoid it and pull your belt really tight or work day time. Nursery is better than tired parents doing double shifts.

I did night shifts with no childcare, and caring for 2 preschoolers during the day, and 2 after-school in addition. In hindsight, what was I thinking, but it is possible.

You have young children, you do not need to feel guilty for not working. You are contributing in a very important way bringing up your children! Don’t under estimate it 😊

I started working 20.00-07.00 shifts Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday nights in a dementia nursing home when my kids were 3 and 1. The eldest was at nursery school from 9-12 Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Younger one was wakeful at night, always slept from 0915 to 1130, and often napped again after lunch.

It didn’t work well. I put the kids to bed before I left but DH (now ex) hated being alone for the evening and my absence overnight, hated if his night was disrupted before his 45 minute commute, hated minding the kids if they woke before I got home. I was too wired to sleep when DS did after dropping DD at nursery school, and definitely much too tired to be safe driving. I did it for 9 months and hit a deer when driving home in the dark one winter morning. What if it had been a person?

Don’t kill yourself going whole nights without sleep (and the days either side) for minimum wage when you don’t need the money. And then you know you’d end up on call on weekend days too.

If you want to work, use childcare during the day and work then. Or childcare on the day that follows the night.

There’s a reason why humans have a sleep during every 24 hours!

Being chronically sleep deprived two nights a week will do a number on your immune system, your hormonal balance, your mood, the way you interact with others, your ability to manage stress, and you’ll burn out fast. Thats not worth minimum wage.

It’s not only the next day when you’re sleep deprived, but it actually knocks on for two or three days afterwards
I did some voluntary work as a street pastor, Trying to keep people safe when they were leaving nightclubs until 4 o’clock in the morning on a Friday and Saturday night. It was Wednesday before I felt normal again just in time for the next shift again on Friday

I did it, I had 3 children, I had a child in school and 2 toddlers with 12 months between them. I worked nights for 8 years, I didn’t sleep after a night shift and I was fine provided I kept going!

You shouldn't feel terrible. It saddens me that so many women are feeling pressured into working when they don't need to.

I worked night shifts in a social care organisation from when my baby was 7 months, by letting a room to a nurse working opposite shifts in the same setting, in exchange for overnight childcare. I'd unexpectedly become a lone parent and had to earn a living. It was stunningly, absolutely exhausting. If you don't have to, don't do it. Just check the next nanny's references or do a childcare swap with a mummy friend and work part time maybe?

You need to look at why you feel so guilty about being a SAHP! Seriously, if you have the money, get some counselling and work out what really motivates you and why. It will stand you in good stead when you do return to the work place.

Yeah exactly !
Does he make you feel like you should be working ?
You are at home looking after both of your children OP 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’ve done it before, it was brutal. Worked a night shift in hospital, came home and looked after young children all day. I could only manage it because it wasn’t all the time and I’d slept a bit the day before the night shift. By 7pm I was a mess!!

I would not consider this in your shoes tbh. You don't need the money and the disadvantages and risks of this type of work outweigh the small financial incentive.

If you want to earn / keep your skills up from the career you've had until now, surely find something very pt / wfh that's won't take much childcare. Alternatively, decide to be SAHP for now and try to keep up your skills and knowledge by reading / studying as needed.

Your dc are still so young and if your dh works long hours - you can reevaluate in a year or even 6 months.

This is where the problem is. You (and/or he??) dont recognize the value and contribution that you bring to the family and running of the household. You are important. Being there for your children, doing the pick ups, housework, life admin, making meals (and on and on and on) is valuable. Your contribution allows your husband to have his high flying well paid career that brings the family money in. Dont flog yourself working nights on a minimum wage job just to make a few pennies. All that would lesd to is your exhaustion and burnout.

We don't need the money but I'm going to choose to regularly stay awake for 36 hours while providing substandard care for a 2 year old.
That's ridiculous.

I don't think it will work out. I used to work nights but mine were at school/school nursery 9-3. On the odd day one was sick or I couldn't get childcare in school holidays, I would stay up for the day and (now ex) DH would take over when he got in while I slept.

It was very not idea trying to sleep with him & kids in the house, as I was constantly getting disturbed and having to get up to sort something out. Definitely wouldn't want to do it every week. Might be better if your partner is a competent parent and can keep look after the kids without you.

I’m sorry to hear that.

Do you mind saying how, was it stress?

I'm sure people have managed when they have been desperate for the money and had no other option. It will be terrible for your mental health and patience though, you will probably be miserable and not manage parenting very well. If you don't desperately need the money, don't do it. Wait until your child starts preschool and start looking for a job within school hours then.

Why is that ridiculous?

But you are contributing financially. With you not working your husband can work the hours he does because you look after the children for him.
I was a SAHP when our children were little. My husband never once questioned if I was pulling my weight and kept telling me what a great job I was doing.
OP, you cannot work nights and look after children.