Can you work nights with no childcare?

You will be financially contributing. You'll be saving on childcare until little ones go to school.im 2 years.

I'm not for woman giving up work and making themselves financially vulnerable but in your specific situation, I think it's sensible as long as he can pay for pension contributions while out of work.

What on earth am I reading?!

You'd be able to contribute financially if your husband actually took some responsibility for kids!

You're 100% responsible for the kids and he's 100% responsible for earning money. That's not how I'd want to do it but it's certainly how a lot of people do it and it works for them. If you're going to be responsible for earning some money then he has to be responsible for doing some childcare drop offs and pick ups.

Are none of his colleagues parents at all? Do none of his colleagues ever take time off or start later/ finish earlier because of their kids?? It seems very unusual that he wouldn't have any flex at all.

In short...No! You need to sleep. Working nights in your 20's, when you presumably didn't have children or responsibilities, is vastly different to now.

It won't matter too much when your daughter starts nursery, she will pick up bugs/viruses. It's part and parcel of a child going to nursery/pre-school.

You have several choices: your daughter starts nursery now, you decide to wait until the winter months are over before she starts nursery with you staying at home until then or you stay at home until your daughter starts school.

You can't work nights, even one night and expect to look after a 2 year old. It's unsafe, and there's a real possibility that you are so tired, you fall asleep, leaving her unsupervised.

She has said they don't need the money, it's just OP feeling guilty not contributing financially, which she should she is contributing to the family...

Hi op Why would you want to work overnight for minimum wage why not just accept it’s not convenient right now and let your dh support his family and review it when dc at school then you could work a couple of nights then sleep when dc in school. Op you are out of your mind if you think you can do 24 hours without sleep if your fortunate to survive without this income don’t do it just to contribute a small amount of money when it’s not necessary there’s plenty of time to work.

This is absolutely crazy, if you don't nee the money, contribute to your family instead...

Oh, what a surprise, yet another husband with a Big Important Job that takes priority over anything and everyone else.

As others have said it sounds impractical as you need to sleep and also sounds a bit pointless if you don’t actually need the money

I used to do a 12 hour night shift 7-7 Tuesday and Friday slept as soon as I came in off both shifts till 2 pm ( I was in my twenties)

I was totally fucked all week and eventually had to stop night shift take a toll on your health you eat badly and put on weight

ni way could I do it and look after a toddler it’s not safe at all

Plus you are contributing massively.. don't ever underestimate that. I was a solo parent and I had to pay for childcare help to enable me to work - and it cost me a lot.
you are saving your DP so much by loving and looking after your child

I wouldn't do it. When my DS was a baby I used to do 2am to 10am. I had to pick him up from nursery at 12:30.
I did two weekday mornings and one on the weekend. It was really really hard going. Although this won't be an issue for you it was also too much for DS really. He used to be woken by DH at 6:30 and in nursery for 7:15.
For my own health I left and got a job with more normal hours.
You can try it but I think it will be too much and there will also come a time when your DC won't nap so you won't get a break at all during the day.

My aunt and uncle did this for years but only when their youngest was school age, my aunt would get home tag my uncle out do the school run then go home and sleep until pick up. She's never been someone who needs lots of sleep though and did 3-4 nights a week 12 hour shifts. Uncle worked regular 9-5/6 type hours and was very hands on in terms of the children and house, which wasn't the norm in the 80s. I don't think it's going to work with a 2 year old in the house

Please please don’t - my DM did this and it was horrible, she was so irritable and grumpy with us all the time from lack of sleep and we had to creep around our own home on eggshells. We were far too little to moderate like this and to understand, even thinking about it now makes me tense and anxious. She eventually had a breakdown and we hid cuddling each other while she screamed and uptipped the house. My parents financial position was not good and I understand their reasons, you do not need to do this to your kids in your situation.

But you do contribute, due to you being completely flexible and doing all the sick care, nursery runs, appointments etc that he can’t because of his work. He couldn’t earn that money without your role in this family. Don’t burn yourself out doing nights and looking after a 2 year old. If you don’t need the money, and your happy in your marriage Stay off work for a little while and re-access when the youngest is in childcare/school.

FATHERS raise the bar. Don't blame mothers for shitty fathers.

No. That’s the simple answer.

Imagine working 4 nights in a row with no sleep. It’s an accident waiting to happen.

Depends if Dad can help on Saturday and Sunday so you can grab a few hours sleep. Id happily have done 2 nights instead of every evening 5 to 9 when mine were small

Well that's two 72 hour stints per week with no sleep.

It's absolutely not doable.

I'm a shift worker (part time) and often just do one night which is doable as I have some family help. I ask my mum to watch my toddler until 12 and then I take over and collect the eldest from preschool. I then go to bed absolutely exhausted at 8pm that evening 😆. I'm not on minimum wage though so to me it's worth it.

O.P - if you are in a good financial situation and don't have to work whilst your children are young, TAKE IT!!!
There are SO many parent's / mums wishing they'd been as lucky as you.
I'm definitely one of them!

Your children are only young once.
Make as many memories with them as you can.
It's not forever.
I'm sure your husband would understand.
If you feel guilty about not working, just make sure you do the majority of the housework, etc to compensate for that guilt!

No just wait until the two year old starts school.

Its only for a very short period of your working life! 2 years until DD starts school to be a good, loving, SAH parent. I would do anything to stay at home with my LO but unfortunately I have to work! Do whats in the best interest for your children.

Of course not! How could you possibly care for your two year old properly? You’d be catching up on sleep.

If you want to work put your 2 year old in daycare. If you don’t want to put them in daycare stay home. It is ridiculous you kill your self working 1-2 nights a week, spending time with your kids super tired, when you don’t even need the income. They don’t deserve an exhausted mum for 2 days a week plus ultra tired the rest of the week. They are better off in a nice pre-school

I know you say it’s only 1 or 2 nights a week but you are going to be like death warmed up on those days!

Honestly, if you don’t need the money, I wouldn’t be working just now. If your husbands job is so pressurised with such long hours that he can’t do any drop offs or pick ups, I can’t see how you nightshifts will work. You’ll need to stay up to get your oldest to school and your youngest to childcare, which you will need, because you can’t possibly look after two year old after a full night working. Well, you probably ‘could’, but it would be miserable, potentially unsafe and exhausting for something that just isn’t even necessary at this stage. Please don’t devalue the work of a stay at home mum by saying you would feel ‘terrible’. What does your OH think.
Honestly, wait until your youngest is a bit older and more robust, maybe even till they are at school, then you can take a job during the day.

Sorry but you can’t just be like ‘this is how it is’ with your husband. He and you chose to have children and he HAS to step up - the industry doesn’t matter. I worked in a difficult industry and was just difficult back regarding my childcare issues and my entitlement to carers leave. My husband is very senior in his job and does the pick-up then works from home into the night as it’s more than doable. The world has changed just sounds like your husband hasn’t. Also if he earns more that £100k, like put that into a pension!! Get your funded hours entitlement. Why is this all on you? Just sounds like a lazy husband washing his hands of it all - you have suffered as a result. Lastly, get another nanny or put them in nursery. Nursery is great for getting ready for school and making friendships. But you absolutely cannot work nights or work from
home and look after a kid