Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

aibu to say no?

104 replies

mycathasfangs · 23/01/2026 20:04

I feel horrible saying no but I have heard so much about people doing this and it all goes wrong, I'm trying to find a way that is right for everyone and not just one person..

30 year old heroin addicted family member keeps asking to move in with me for 'a few days' to 'get off the heroin' I am being pressured by family to help him, being told things like 'families help each other out at times like this, it's on us not other people'

I brought up the fact I live alone and if he is withdrawing then I probably won't feel safe and also scared I will wake up to my tv and phone gone etc, I then get told (this is true but doesn't mean he won't when desperate..) that he has never stolen anything so why would he from me etc. He doesn't have to steal because he constantly gets money from family because we can't just 'abandon him' I say he needs to hit rock botton but get told I don't know what i'm talking about.

He's been on it for three years. sold every item in his flat to buy that shit.

He says he wants to come off it, yet is still buying and using. He gets methadrone and sells it to buy more heroin, He is involved with people I wouldn't want around me.

can people with experience please tell me how it is in reality? anyone actually had someone coming off drugs live with them? or anyone lived with an addict can you tell me how it really is? I will probably show this to my family if I get any replies.

OP posts:
JoshLymanSwagger · 23/01/2026 20:10

Don't let him in.

Why can't one of the other family members, who are pressuring you, help him?

Lopteluga · 23/01/2026 20:10

You’re definitely not being unreasonable. Do not let him move in with you.

mumofoneAloneandwell · 23/01/2026 20:08

omg girl of course yanbu!! Change your locks and get a ring doorbell as well xx

Gahr · 23/01/2026 20:07

YANBU. Absolutely not. They have no right whatsoever to put you in this position. I know it's a lot easier said than done, but you have to stand firm and refuse. I presume this relative is your brother and it is your parents who are pressuring you, which does make it hard, but you still have to refuse. Even if it means going NC with them all for a while.

Swipe left for the next trending thread