I don’t want this life, I want my old one.

Are you able to book time off in school holidays so you can enjoy the routine again? I co-parented a GC from birth and am going through your emotions all over again now they're 17 and dating! 💐

Sometimes I really do wonder where these critical harridans come from, spoiling this site with their nasty bitter opinions.

All those people saying have another baby are rather insensitive. The OP has addressed that in her posts.

OP it was also the best time of my life (so far!). I have a good job but loved being at home more. However I know I need a pension and other boring things like that so I went back part time when my DC was 1. She is a bit older now and all I’d say is don’t miss out on the present by constantly looking back. Take her to feed the ducks, to the shops, swimming at the weekend. She will love it.

Also think being a working a mum is a really good example to set. I want my DC to be independent and do well in life, not be reliant on someone else to then divorce them later on.

I know what you mean.
I get teary at playgrounds with my youngest because I miss the days when my elder child was with us all the time.
Have another baby!

You can still meet up with your mum’s group. We have a monthly dinner party, we go to the same gym and meet up there and chat in the jacuzzi, i go for walks on my day off with a friend too. You need to have your own life. Separtauin is hard, you dont want to put that butden on your DD. Counselling or psychoanalysis could help too

maybe you need a different job? I’ve had good jobs and bad jobs and regardless of kids, good jobs don’t feel grey and stressful

I think there is a silent grief that not many people speak about

• returning to work after maternity leave after spending every day with your baby
• your child starting nursery / school and not having the same amount of time with them to do the things you used to do
• being grateful for the child/children you do have but secretly wishing you had more
• your children growing up, needing you less and one day moving out

All of these things are valid. It is part of parenthood and millions will go through these feelings every year. You’re not alone. You don’t need to “grow up and get a life” like some comments have insinuated…

Your child is still so little at 5. There is so much more fun to be had. Can you perhaps utilise your time a bit better so that weekends are for family fun time, soft play, coffee trips like the good old days?

The fun time is definitely not over just because you’re back to work and DD is in school

I was really depressed for quite a while when my youngest started full time at school for similar reasons so I get it. Sometimes you can't help but have a preference when it comes to a life stage even when you are making a sincere attempt to look for the good in each stage.

Sorry was also thinking this.

It’s hard having to deal with all the juggling and trade-offs but 4 day week doesn’t sound too bad (30 hours?) so maybe you will get used to it.
I went up and down in hours a bit over the years trying to find the right balance with time to do stuff, my own mental health, being with the kids, having an interesting and engaged work life and bringing in enough money as a single parent where there was no state help. I reckoned 25 hours or about 0.7 was about the optimum !!

Is your hobby being nasty on the internet?

Have more children?

It’s nothing compared to when they leave for university. Start to build friendships as you are going to need them.

You’re fortunate to get a day off in the week.

You can’t carry on the maternity leave jolly forever unless you’re loaded. That’s life.

Try not to be everything from your own perspective. OP doesn’t have to stifle her wistful feelings because of your life.

Grow up, for goodness sake.
You are an adult, are your not? Start acting like one.

I've only got one and I understand what you mean. I went back to work when she was 9 months old, I wanted the best of both worlds and felt that her being with a child minder then nursery (mixing with other people/children) was good for her. There was no big change when she started school and now she's at Uni but commuting. It's hard to accept that they need you less as they grow up, you feel the pull on the heart strings every time there's a change - that's what being a mum is all about, showing her the way. You've got years to enjoy her, just make the most of it x

Also you want to be a good role model to your daughter - as someone with a full, happy life outside of her. Try your best to tend to yourself and your own life/interests too.

Aww OP I know how you feel, when you have one not by choice, it’s so hard struggling with knowing each stage is the last time you’ll be able to experience it. I feel the same.

But like everyone else says there are so many happy memories ahead. Feel these feelings, but try to look forward too.

Why are you shaping your life and entire identity around your daughter?

I think that when you have done it more than once you feel like you've had your money's worth.

You are fortunate to have had time, but, yes, it's still shit having to go back to work and missing the things you enjoyed, more so if you can't have a second child. It's two big changes it's no wonder you are struggling to adjust.

There is lots of fun ahead, things you can do on weekends, with the mum friends you got on with, and in the holidays of course.

Totally get it. However I have a teen now and I really miss the primary school years so try and cherish them too, they are also very special in their own way.

Solidarity and hugs OP. Mine are now 6 and 10 and I STILL well up at the sight of a toddler holding their Mum's hand in Tesco. Those slow, lazy days with pre-schoolers were the best time of my life. Feeding the ducks, visiting the library, finding new parks to visit. I'm desperate for more DC, but can't for various reasons. Now I work four days a week in a job I would happily leave tomorrow if I could, and just feel constantly stressed juggling the school run/work/after school clubs. Life just feels a bit sad and pointless at the moment. I would give anything to do it all again and am bitterly jealous of people who can have as many DC as they would like.