6 week post stillbirth

you could have retained placenta or anything which could make you very ill so it’s important you go to your appointment. You need to put yourself first now which I know is very hard but they also need to know how you are doing physically and mentally - I dreaded this appointment but they were really kind and took the blood test and luckily they did as my iron level was so low I needed a transfusion and it helped with how I was feeling too once it was done as not being well on top - which I didn’t know at the time as I was obviously just a zombie mess 🤷‍♀️ - was contributing to how bad I was feeling and helped me emotionally be stronger when I was feeling physically better if you know what I mean? Sorry I’m terrible for waffling 😩😁 x

My first child was stillborn 11 years ago. I didnt go to the 6 week check up, I couldn't face it but I got my mum to call them before the appointment to make sure they had it documented that the baby was dead. They hadn't and the GP called me back and went through a few things but I didnt need to go in.

We had another baby born 13.5 months after our daughter died so I obviously must have ovulated pretty quickly.

I would recommend finding someone that specialises in stillbirth counselling as that pregnancy was really hard and I needed a lot of reassurance

I am so sorry for your loss OP. Make sure you take care of yourself. Slightly different but I had a neonatal loss nearly three years ago and I felt I coped better in the early days than when it really hit me some months later, once I had gone back to work. Whatever you feel is natural.

I am so sorry. My friend lost her baby girl in similar circumstances. And after 2 regular pregnancies and births. Of course you can’t replace a child but she did go on to have a healthy baby. But it was awful for us to see her in so much pain, and doubly awful for her. Again, I am so sorry. Lots of love to you and your partner.

Hi OP just checking in on you...how are you? Bleeding on/off is normal, but will settle after a normal cycle. I can relate to the comfort food, just do what helps, it's not easy, grief took it's toll on me.

I had this. It eventually stopped.

I assume every woman is different, i know a girl who had 4 or 5 miscarriages before she started having children.

So sorry for your loss OP. I see it sounds like you're going to do this via phone now. I can only imagine that this would be difficult, but I do think making the contact probably is important.

I've no doubt, on the day it will still be emotional, even over the phone. I'd suggest making a list of questions now that you would like answered. I'd possibly also ask, at the start of your appointment, if it becomes too emotional, are you able to email the doctor your questions to be answered.

Wishing you all the best.

So sorry for your loss, I completely understand what you're going through 😔 I lost my baby boy at full term too, it will be 5yrs next month. To be completely honest it's only since last year that I can mention him without crying. The first year will be the hardest...but time is a healer ❤️ I wish you all the best and hopefully you go on to having healthy babies soon 🙏 look after yourself, keep yourself nourished as it really does take a toll on your health...Xx

Im so sorry about your little boy. My little boy passed away at 24 weeks, two hours after being born. He'd of been 13 this year. I gave birth to his sister almost 2 years later, she turned 11 a few weeks ago, I was scanned every 2 weeks during her pregnancy & was able to have a water birth ( her birth was the best out of 3 )

2 years after my DD I gave birth to another little boy and he was my first sons double. So much so, that in my sleep deprived hormonal state I kept accidently calling him my first borns name. He's not long turned 9

I didn't have a check up after I gave birth to my first son, but a few days after I gave birth to him I did receive a call off my midwife asking where I was..... for whatever reason it didn't update on the system that I had given birth to him and he had passed so she was expecting me for a routine appointment. I bet she felt terrible after that call

Im so sorry about your little boy. My little boy passed away at 24 weeks, two hours after being born. He'd of been 13 this year. I gave birth to his sister almost 2 years later, she turned 11 a few weeks ago, I was scanned every 2 weeks during her pregnancy & was able to have a water birth ( her birth was the best out of 3 )

2 years after my DD I gave birth to another little boy and he was my first sons double. So much so, that in my sleep deprived hormonal state I kept accidently calling him my first borns name. He's not long turned 9

I didn't have a check up after I gave birth to my first son, but a few days after I gave birth to him I did receive a call off my midwife asking where I was..... for whatever reason it didn't update on the system that I had given birth to him and he had passed so she was expecting me for a routine appointment. I bet she felt terrible after that call

I am so very sorry for your loss. We lost our angel 3 years ago. The thought of it still takes my breath away but I can picture his face with joy now, the memory of his features as distinct from the loss. I spoke with a bereavement counsellor who specialised in fertility and loss. It helped and I’d recommend it if/ when you feel up to it.

Be gentle with yourself and take it one day at a time as you’re doing. Sending love and strength to you and all on this chain who have experienced their own losses. xxx

So sorry @rosepedal, you will always hold the memory of little boy with you and it will most definitely not feel like it right now, but the agonisingly raw pain will ease. My little boy died post birth and like others, the weeks and months to follow were a blur and I have no idea whether I went to my 6 week check. Similar to others, I went on to have more children and they bring so much light, while always remembering our first born 🌈

Take care of yourself and remember that sometimes all you can do is focus on getting through the next five minutes ❤️

I'm so very sorry OP. And to all the other posters who have also been in this position. Love and light to you all 💐.

I am so sorry. Just do whatever is best for you. I hope you will have some positive news to share very soon. Big hugs x

@rosepedal just to answer your question to me, it was 11 days of bleeding but not constant heavy bleeding the whole time, it was a mix of heavy, then light, then spotting.

I went on to fall pregnant again 3 months after my daughters loss and had my son at 37 weeks. My due date with him was actually the date of her birthday but I delivered him early. I was very carefully monitored and cared for, even during Covid and had an elective c section because my daughter died during labour. I’ve since had another son and again was very carefully monitored which was reassuring.

I’m sending you so much love and strength right now, please look after yourself.

Oh OP, I am so sorry. I had the same thing happen with my first baby. I remember those first few weeks of shock and grief and fear, and physical and hormonal upheaval.

Sending you lots of love.

It is fine to skip your 6 week check - but ring ahead and let them know, or have someone do this for you if you can’t bear to have that conversation yourself (I know I couldn’t have). The last thing you need is a cheerful receptionist calling to remind you, or getting a visit from a child safeguarding team if you don’t show.

If you do decide to go, be prepared to explain to the receptionist that you do not have a baby with you to be checked as well, as that is what they’ll be expecting, since maternity services and GP services don’t communicate at all, and you can’t count on anyone having looked at your patient notes.

Also, go in with a clear aim in mind of what you want from your GP. What do you need checked? What do you want referrals for? Mental health support? Physio? Follow up for birth injuries or blood loss?

It’s easy to fall into the attitude (sadly encouraged by many medics and midwives) that your own postpartum body doesn’t matter, in the absence of your baby. But you are here, and you are the patient, and your health is important, and your comfort matters.

Hang in there. It is so so painful. And you’re not alone.

I’m so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine how devastating it must be. I’d do whatever you feel you can cope with right now xx

Couldn't read and run. Sending you love ❤️

Sending so much love to all the mothers here that have not come home with their babies.