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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think fat shaming is not on?

15 replies

Chefpig · 23/01/2026 17:54

My mum has always wanted to make a good impression to her in laws. As soon as she met her husband, it was like them first and her own family way down the line in terms of priorities.

I am overweight and if I ever sat with my arms crossed infront of them, it must make me look even fatter than usual as she'd shoot me a look and out of ear shot of them say I looked fat and like Buddha.

Was I being sensitive to be very offended by this or was I OK to not like it?

OP posts:
thistimelastweek · 23/01/2026 17:57

You were not oversensitive.
Your mum was plain nasty.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 23/01/2026 17:57

Your mother sounds like a self absorbed vile cruel witch. Of course it is not okay. Is she still part of your life. 💐

SlothSpiritAnimal · 23/01/2026 17:57

That’s really nasty of her! Absolutely no need for her to say that to you and I’m not surprised it upset you.
Sorry she said that to you - fold your arms if you want, she doesn’t have the right to make hurtful comments about your appearance!

BillieWiper · 23/01/2026 18:01

'Well Buddha was enlightened, wise and content, as well as being deeply admired by generations.'

All qualities you could do with increasing in abundance Mother dear'

Fopar · 23/01/2026 18:11

I'm sorry that happened to you, but do you really believe that anyone on MN is going to come along and say that that was OK?

YourTidyGreyRobin · 23/01/2026 18:15

Are you really that fat that you look like Buddha?

marshmallowsandwich · 23/01/2026 18:15

Not only is that not nice, it's also not right. Buddha wasn't fat.

Sarah2891 · 23/01/2026 18:16

Of course it's not ok.

WhateverMate · 23/01/2026 18:16

Was I being sensitive to be very offended by this or was I OK to not like it?

🙄

BitterTits · 23/01/2026 18:17

You know it's not on OP, sorry you experienced this. I have an aunt who kindly took and sent me my photo - I know exactly why she did it. I choose not to care.

BitterTits · 23/01/2026 18:18

YourTidyGreyRobin · 23/01/2026 18:15

Are you really that fat that you look like Buddha?

Edited

Are you really that crass that you just posted this?

BollyMolly · 23/01/2026 18:19

Of course it’s ok not to like a mean comment, but it sounds like the bigger problem is that you have one of those mothers who prioritise their partner over their children.

poppettypop · 11/09/2026 15:28

Why on earth is this ok!!

We should never comment on people’s appearance especially women!

Surely we are no longer defined by what we look like?

Your mum sounds like she has lost sight of what it important including her own bloody daughter!

Minasama · 11/09/2026 15:30

It is not nice of your mum to make unkind comments to you in any situation, in-laws or no in-laws.

Spidey66 · 11/09/2026 15:45

I’m overweight and have always struggled with my weight and have always been self conscious of it. I know a lot of this can be traced back to childhood. My mum also struggled and I grew up in a family where gaining weight =bad and losing weight =good. I’m in my 60s now and still struggle with that mentality. I look at pictures of myself when I was in my teens/20s and think ‘I look really nice there’ but at the time I thought I was huge. The weight I’d like to be now was the weight I was then.

my mum wasn’t cruel like your mum, she wouldn’t make that sort of comment, but the attitude towards weight was definitely there.

your mum is setting you up to have the same body issues as I have, and it’s not nice.

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